Thread: Caught Thrapping?

Lauged my face off at that one mate! Beautifully written.

'Lets call him Taff to protect his identity..........'

What about your fnucking identity!!! Reading this thread over the past two days I have both pissed and shit myself in equal quantities. Its good to know that Britain's finest are ready for anythnig as long as you give them a ten second head start to get their keks back up and hide the man-juice stains.

Oh gents.....I would doff my cap to all of you except I'm not wearing one..

Twisting the thread around a little. What's the most anyone has ever cracked out during a two hour barrier sortie? I once managed five in the 'Super-sangar' at Palace Bks NI. God, the blokes were safe that night......

My Mum nenver liked my girlfriend when I was 17. My folks went away for the weekend so I invited the girl over for a shagfest... delicious. Come dhobi day Mum comes into my bedroom and says "I know what young men do, but please don't make a mess of the sheets again." Do I say "Sorry, Mum, but Elaine was with me all weekend!" or keep the peace and admit I'm a w**ker? I went for the w**ker story....

Not strictly a thrap story but one of being caught in the act.

Young Outcast and Mrs Outcast taking new first baby to visit outlaws in Scotland in February. Old council house with no central heating so Mother in law says, sleep in our room with baby as it has a gas fire. Anyways, on first night, have a few drinks and off to bed with baby tucked up in cot. Mrs Outcast gets horny and says come on, do me from behind. Anyways, I oblige, giving it hammer and tongs pushing her head into the pillow. Just getting to the vinigar strokes and notice a light coming from behind me. Looks over my right shoulder to see the door ajar and light coming from the hall. At this moment I hear a noise to my left at the bedside cabinet. Mother in law's voice comes from that direction "Sorry, I was just getting the dogs treats out of the bedside drawer". Anyways, good job it was dark as my face would have been scarlet, Pulled duvet over both of us and when heard door shut, both Mrs outcast and I fell into fits of embarrassed laughter. Obviously Outcast wanted to finish the job off but she wouldn't hear of it. Was very embarrassed at breakfast the next morning but mother in law eqally so. Found out dog wouldn't settle on night without its nightly treat. It got a treat later that day with a size 8 for costing me a shag. Bar Steward.

8 AES, Bosnia 98-99 tour. Two of the older REME blokes decided to square away one of their sprogs. They had purchased a cam-corder and concealed it on top of the locker in their Corimec so that it had a full view of the room. They pressed record then put on some porn. In walks the sprog 10 minutes or so later. After a few minutes of watching filth the two older guys say they are off to the bar but the sprog chooses to stay for a bit. He has a w@nk and then goes to the bar.

The next day posters were up all around the camp saying come to the Engineer Bar on Saturday as the most hardcore porn film ever is on. Needless to say most of camp turned up. The look of horror on the sprogs face was priceless as they showed his thrapping efforts on a big screen projector!

A "couple" of years ago I had reason to spend a few weeks living with my uncle and aunty. Now aunty my dads sister was a bit of a stunner. As a 15 year old on leave from an all male boarding school I had little to do during the day. Not a single fcuk to my name. Uncle and aunty both worked during the day.

As any normal 15 year old would, I went through the bedroom drawers investigating the Knicker department, this gave me the horn big time. However this was not good enough, I then decided to raid the laundry basket situated in the utility room. A lovely pair of red french camis were withdrawn for inhalation purposes. Sat on the washing machine knob in hand, trousers round ankles, sniffing away I had forgotten the cleaner was due around. Bitch just laughed!

Not many female confessions here.

We're just more careful not to get caught Yokel

Another one which springs to mind….

Deployed on exercise to Flensburg from Gutersloh – it was one of the ‘non-tactical’ exercises that we are allowed to have in the Royal Signals………vehicles, berets, different locations but fuck the weapons and cam!. As was typical for the British Army, they’d timed our deployment to be at exactly the same time as the German national holiday and roads were chocker to say the least.

Anyway, as the traffic came to a standstill, I did the honourable thing as vehicle commander (it was a Landrover) and got my head down in the passenger seat, leaving my crewman to amble along at a snail’s pace. The remainder of the journey was uneventful and we got to our exercise location, safe and sound.

About 4 days into the exercise, I was chatting about life in general with my crewman over a tab and a brew (and who I will add at this stage was fucking huge – known in the Corps as BF (Big Fucker)). BF mentioned the hundreds of gorgeous birds in cars on the way up and how the speed of traffic enabled him to letch for Britain, short skirts, pearly white teeth as they flashed a smile, glimpses of leg and even panties on the odd occasion……..cracking stuff.

He confessed to me that while I was asleep in the passenger seat, he’d ‘knocked a couple out’ while watching the fit birds crawling past in their cars. I laughed and said words to the effect of ‘fair play mate, I’d have done the same’

I then asked him where he shot his load

‘in your beret’ came the reply

twat

Not an amazing one but...

At depot in 2003 everyone was regularly bashing one out both in their bedspace and in the bogs - no-one had any dramas with it and it was fairly normal to walk in on eachother ragging one out.

One day I walk into the toilets and I can see from the gap under one of the cubicles a thrash mag laid out and a slight slapping noise - mega, thinks I we'll play some sort of prank. I went back to my Sections room and we all decided we'd sneak in, grab the magazine from under the cubicle and at the same time using one of the lads newly purchased video recorders video the 'lads' reaction from over the top of the cubicle.

So we all slip in in our socks, camcorder bod creeps into the cubicle next to the thrapping one and climbs carefully onto the toilet awaiting the removal of the magazine before popping over, one lad moves forward and snatches the magazine only to get his fingers crushed under a size 9 boot and to hear the roaring voice of one of our Section Commanders (we were Crows so obviously they were wrathful gods to us!) swearing and screaming words that are a blur to me now, we all barreled out of the room in fear back to our room, when we got back in lads started writing up best books and polishing boots to look as if we'd never left the room - thinking we'd got away with it the lad who got his fingers crushed went sick the next day with two of his fingers in clip and when questioned by said Section Commander sang like a bird...

We got well aquainted with b*stard pressups.

One of the chaps returning from exercise is in a small convoy of five or six vehicles. Convoy pulls into Pub car park lads need a meal, guard rota organised blokes deploy to Bar. Some time later Pl SGT, comes out to check the "Guard", guard not seen, but a strange rhythmic rustling is coming from the Rovers trailer.
Stealthily the Sgt rips the canvas cover off of the trailer, exposing the guard with combats round knees thrapping onto some kit! This man had the face of Spongebob square pants, begging the Sgt not tell anyone as they are old friends and you would do the same etc. The Sgt says fair enough but just get on guard!

On returning to the said family oriented establishment he forcefully gets all patrons attention, there could only have been fifty of them, he tells them what he has just witnessed asks if he could have a loud applause when the next soldier comes in the door.

Talk about a grand entrance....priceless.

RCGJ

After a few weeks down MPA,I nipped off to the bog with a copy of Fiesta & some shit wipe.On reaching the vinigar stroke I caught the man fat in the tissue & then saw it was bright red & not off white!
"Ohhhh Fuuucccckkk!!!" so I zips up the keks & quietly slopes off to see the doc.
" Ah yes JT M*******,you've been drinking too much which is why that happened!"
(A REME mate was FOG & was on his last few weeks so I was on the pish in the death star every night)
C*nt me was'nt one of the nurses shagging another mate & rumbled me!
Biatch...

remember getting caught knocking one out in the carpet sanger in bbk! (judging by the fiesta,s and razzles behind the radiator i wasn,t the only one! ) remember the "joy of sex" looking rather crusty after 6 months behind the toilet tank as well! :D

After having split with my missus a while back, i moved into central London and rented a room from some 40yr old single mum who was looking to make ends meet. As is the duty of any ex-squaddie, i'd obviously got her well lubricated on a number of occasions with Lambrini with the intent of chucking one up her but to no avail.

I'd been living there about six months and had cycled back from work one evening. It had been a particularly boring day at the office and I'd already choked the chicken a couple of times in trap 3 of the gents over the indian bird who sat at the end of the rows of desks near the toilets. Filthy looking little slut she was, i never did find out if she lived up to her image. Anyway, I'd got home and decided to shower, obviously, the blood flowing from the cycle ride home had got me in the mood to empty my sack again. The bathroom door was one of these stupid bloody concertina type plastic things and of course, mid thrap, the single mother walks straight in to find me doing a japanese sniper impression, hunch backed, stood in the bath under the shower, oblivious to her presence. Until she screamed that was.....

She just happened to catch me at the point of no return, which had actually taken me bloody ages to get to after my two other boredom relieving efforts earlier in the day. So rather than turn away embarressed, i instinctively decided to not let the moment pass and gave it all i had in one last excruciating whirlwind thrap at the end of which you release sounding like one of those birds playing tenis at wimbledon.

I got the impression she could have walked out of the room at that point but lingered for just a few seconds more than she should probably have done, having a bloody good look. I of course apologised unreservedly on my way out and returned later that evening armed with Lambrusco aplenty and a smile on my face.

Originally Posted by BloodyLance

After having split with my missus a while back, i moved into central London and rented a room from some 40yr old single mum who was looking to make ends meet. As is the duty of any ex-squaddie, i'd obviously got her well lubricated on a number of occasions with Lambrini with the intent of chucking one up her but to no avail.

I'd been living there about six months and had cycled back from work one evening. It had been a particularly boring day at the office and I'd already choked the chicken a couple of times in trap 3 of the gents over the indian bird who sat at the end of the rows of desks near the toilets. Filthy looking little slut she was, i never did find out if she lived up to her image. Anyway, I'd got home and decided to shower, obviously, the blood flowing from the cycle ride home had got me in the mood to empty my sack again. The bathroom door was one of these stupid bloody concertina type plastic things and of course, mid thrap, the single mother walks straight in to find me doing a japanese sniper impression, hunch backed, stood in the bath under the shower, oblivious to her presence. Until she screamed that was.....

She just happened to catch me at the point of no return, which had actually taken me bloody ages to get to after my two other boredom relieving efforts earlier in the day. So rather than turn away embarressed, i instinctively decided to not let the moment pass and gave it all i had in one last excruciating whirlwind thrap at the end of which you release sounding like one of those birds playing tenis at wimbledon.

I got the impression she could have walked out of the room at that point but lingered for just a few seconds more than she should probably have done, having a bloody good look. I of course apologised unreservedly on my way out and returned later that evening armed with Lambrusco aplenty and a smile on my face.

You should take that act on the stage!