Thread: Cold calls!
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24-06-2009, 15:58 #1
Cold calls!
That's the 4th F*K*ING call this afternoon..
Any advice on dealing with cold/selling callers?
I did tell someone to F*$k off last week but it turned out to be a legitimate call.
There are websites you can join that say they can stop cold calls, but they want all your details like email and mob number, and im not sure if it's some sort of scam.
I used to enjoy winding them up, but now it's just annoying me to the point that everyone who calls the house gets greated with "WHAT?"
Anyway, better go.....The phone's ringing!
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24-06-2009, 16:00 #2
Re: Cold calls!
Contact BT they can arrange filtering.
Originally Posted by ferme_ta_gueule_toi
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24-06-2009, 16:01 #3
Re: Cold calls!
Tell them your having a hand shandy and ask what they are wearing or if they have kids and what they look like in a swim suit
Father Dougal: God Ted, I've heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord's going to come back and judge us all.
Father Ted: No...no Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism you're talking about there

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24-06-2009, 16:03 #4
Re: Cold calls!
Ask them to hold on 2 seconds then fcuk off tot he pub or something.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
You know what? I really couldn't give a fuck!!!
"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln,
how was the play?"
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24-06-2009, 16:08 #5Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- the wrong side of the line
- Posts
- 49
Re: Cold calls!
i just listen, then tell em to fec off, am in the middle of getting some rather good head
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24-06-2009, 16:09 #6
Re: Cold calls!
Hi ferme_ta_gueule_toi,
Register with this website and all (or most) of the calls will stop....
http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/
Also, if you are fed up with direct mail companies sending you crap, you can register at the same site...
http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/mpsr/
Hope this helps!
BG
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24-06-2009, 16:13 #7
Re: Cold calls!
Wind them up, waste their time. This afternoon I had some Indian talking about a "free" kitchen quote. After 5 mintes of winding him up it came to my address....which I said was a caravan.....line went dead.
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24-06-2009, 16:21 #8
Re: Cold calls!
Thanks all...I reckon I'll register with the site britegirlie suggested in the morn...that way tonight I can have some payback...The site also asks for emails, postcode, names and all that, but looks reputable enough. If registering triples the amout of calls I'll know where to come britegirlie!!
I'm not kidding but I'v had another while writing this...except it wasn't even a person...just some robot thing going "please do not hang up, this is not a sales call"
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24-06-2009, 16:21 #9
Re: Cold calls!
thanks for those links britegirlie, just what i needed too.
life is short, don't be a dick
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24-06-2009, 16:26 #10
Re: Cold calls!
A retired Argyll I know uses this patter for cold calls:
"Does this involve me spending money?... Well fcuk off."
Seem to work for him.
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24-06-2009, 16:37 #11
Re: Cold calls!
Get caller dsiplay and if you don't know the number don't answer it. If someone does want you they'll leave a message.
And hence one master passion in the breast, like Aaron's serpent swallows up the rest.
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24-06-2009, 16:40 #12
Re: Cold calls!
As per the recommedations to join TPS/MPS: once you have registered on these sites, it is illiegal for a company to then contact you 'cold'.
if you receive any such call, mention the magic words 'this is an unsolicited call' and you will have the fastest hang up ever...
The potential fine to any such company that calls you once you have registered is £1000
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24-06-2009, 16:40 #13
Re: Cold calls!
Been registered with this for some time. Really brilliant - no junk mail, maybe 2 or 3 colds calls a year. Well worth registering. Takes about 4-6 weeks for it to filter through.
Originally Posted by BriteGirlie
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24-06-2009, 16:45 #14
Re: Cold calls!
Registration with TPS should stop double glazing enthusiasts in the UK calling you. Unfortunately, it won't stop the phone jockeys from the dark continent, as a mate discovered.
Have you got caller ID on your phone? If you have, you can see who is calling before you answer. Mine usually says 'INTERNATIONAL' if I'm getting a junk call from abroad and I just reject the call.
Some companies block their number so caller ID won't display it. However, you can get BT to block these calls so your phone doesn't ring. I think it's called 'choose to refuse'.
Find out where the hold button is on your phone. If you get a sales call, say 'please hold' and let the buggers listen to Greensleeves for 10 minutes. If you keep doing this, they'll soon tag you as a time waster.
The last resort is to get BT to change your phone number. Make sure your new number is ex-directory and don't disclose it to any commercial organisations. You need to guard your privacy these days. Address, phone number, email. Tell nobody unless you absolutely have to.Remember, a dog is for life. A turkey's just for Christmas though, and perhaps Boxing Day if it's a big one.
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24-06-2009, 16:48 #15Member

- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Posts
- 98
Re: Cold calls!
The following response to cold callers has been around for some time, and I expect there is already a link to it somewhere on ARRSE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjNw-J7uK6o&NR=1
If you haven't seen it before it's worth a chuckle or two.Handling a Crisis
When at any time there is a blundering or confusion in a manoeuvre, ride in amongst the soldiers and lay about you from left to right. This will convince people that it was not your fault.
Francis Grose
Advice to Oficers 1762
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