Thread: Problematic Nephew

Talk to him about how his behaviour is wrong and that he is generally being a little cunt.


Then casually ask him whether or not he has ever made love to a man?

If he carries on his little tricks suggest to him he will do soon .

Although all of the Uni stuff is very stressful, most kids don't go on a rampage do they?

I'm just wondering how he would cope if he was on patrol in Stan with a man down/IED situation etc having not had much sleep for a couple of days with contact reports blazing away on the radio. Would he just blaze away at something? Would he freeze up? Would he act find but be very vulnerable to PTSD later on?

It may well be just a phase, but from the perspective of someone in the same age range (I'm currently 17) it seems rather worrying.

Originally Posted by Mazur_UK

I'm just wondering how he would cope if he was on patrol in Stan with a man down/IED situation etc having not had much sleep for a couple of days with contact reports blazing away on the radio. Would he just blaze away at something? Would he freeze up? Would he act find but be very vulnerable to PTSD later on?

Who knows how he might perform? But I'm willing to bet a pound to a pinch of shit that he wouldn't lie about poppies being banned in his school and his unwavering bravery in front of teachers just so a military website would accept him.

Originally Posted by FiveAlpha

Who knows how he might perform? But I'm willing to bet a pound to a pinch of shit that he wouldn't lie about poppies being banned in his school and his unwavering bravery in front of teachers just so a military website would accept him.

So if he is classed as 'problematic' I am classed as 'cnut'. Quite deservedly too I would add.

Originally Posted by Miner

And buggrit, I was also going to do the "hit my sister one more time" part as well.

are you going to dress up as Britney Spears when you do it? :D

G_R, my parents don't want him around there at the moment.
And even when he does apologise to them, my dad is a miserable old bastard who can't keep his mouth shut & will keep on to him about all this. He'll do more harm than good.

Terryw, I already have had a word with my sister about how things could have possibly been avoided.

Mazur, I understand that most 18yr olds don't go on a rampage. However, he's realised he's made a monumental mistake with his behaviour, he's 18 & never been away from home (apart from holidays), he hasn't done 3yrs at Uni yet, or attended RMAS (if he gets in). So how he'd behave in the Stan with rounds incoming & men down, I don't know. Hopefully the army will train & prepare him as much as they can for that occurance.

CRmCR, fair one. If it got the message through to him, I would consider it.

The uni thing it tricky. The temptation is to say i) full catering halls if they have it, pay the bill immediately, you're housed and fed and lots of instant chums, and ii) join the UOTC - money, structure, more chums, learn the skill of drinking with people who will punch you to the ground if you f*ck about, but probably won't follow up with the boot. But God knows. I can't see a shared flat or a room with a family working. There are arguments for and against a normal TA unit as well. On balance I think catering halls probably are a good idea. Did me some good, I think - although the poor bas*ard I shared a room with didn't enjoy it: I was on the top of the partition near the end of the year and found that he'd put, "X and Y 19** - 19** - I hope he enjoyed it, because I certainly didn't". I felt quite ashamed: I saw myself as a kind of well-intentioned Oliver Reed character.

Don't get in a tizzy about the finance, any time in the next couple of weeks will be fine.

A levels can put a lot of stress on you (I finished mine a week ago). Oldies will say they're only exams, but to us youngsters they are absolutely everything that the last 18 years of our lives have been building towards, and they will determine how the rest of our lives go as well. People do get changed by the constant pressure, I know I've been a massive c*nt far more often than usual over the last few months, as have a lot of my friends (not to actual violence though).

Some people are just dicks when they drink- perhaps you just need him to lay off absurd quantities of booze. Getting him to recognize that might be a bit of a problem though, everybody thinks they're a great laugh when pissed.

This is in the naafi right ? Good.....I think the problem we have here is that your neffy is drinking with the wrong crowd. As his uncle you need to take him on a squaddies drinking rampage that start after breakfast ( 12:00 ) and finishes when the bar is dry, ensure that you go to the local bop and that he bags off with the two ugliest munters in there thus ensuring a scrap outside the said disco, which should be known as "Stickies" or "Lasers" or some such shit. Then after kipping in a shop doorway and been moved on by the police after pissing himself you should ensure he makes it home after promising that you are his "besht bezzer in the world"

In the morning he'll wake up with a cold kebab stuck to his forehead and realise that he's shit himself.




Thats the problem, lightweight drinking !

Sitrep.

Student finance has been done & handed in.
Family are going to have a weekly talk to air any problems in a calm manner, rather than in an arguement.
My mum (his Gran) has been around to see him, gave him a hug (as Grans do) & told him it's done, it's sorted, & she's glad he's back in the family.
I'm seeing him tonight to have a word, see if there's any underlying problem that hasn't been discovered.

Thanks again for the advice, whether by posting or PM.

BTW, he's thinking/hoping of joining the Para's.

Originally Posted by polar69

This is in the naafi right ? Good.....I think the problem we have here is that your neffy is drinking with the wrong crowd. As his uncle you need to take him on a squaddies drinking rampage that start after breakfast ( 12:00 ) and finishes when the bar is dry, ensure that you go to the local bop and that he bags off with the two ugliest munters in there thus ensuring a scrap outside the said disco, which should be known as "Stickies" or "Lasers" or some such s***. Then after kipping in a shop doorway and been moved on by the police after pissing himself you should ensure he makes it home after promising that you are his "besht bezzer in the world"

In the morning he'll wake up with a cold kebab stuck to his forehead and realise that he's s*** himself.




Thats the problem, lightweight drinking !

I miss being in, and single :(

Originally Posted by Miner

Right then chaps & chapess’ a bit of advice (good & ridiculous) required.
Thought I’d stick this in the NAAFI as at the moment I’m fuming & some of the answers this may generate may calm me down.

My 18yr old nephew is currently being an ‘A’ class prick.
He’s just finished his doing his A-Levels, he want’s to go to Uni & then join up, hopefully going to RMAS. He’s already hitting the weights & running quite hard to get fitter.
However, he’s being a complete wanker at the moment to his parents.
He doesn’t do drugs, in fact he recently fell out with a mate of his who has been doing drugs.
But he does drink too much, in my opinion for an 18yr old.

Anyway, last night he came home pissed with some “friends�, he then proceeded to play loud music in the garden. When asked by his mum (my sister) to turn it down, as his 12yr old sister was in bed & had school the next day, apart from being bloody anti-social to the neighbours. He kicked off, calling his mum “a cunt� amongst other things.
When his dad (who is also a prick & no longer drinks, although that hasn’t cured his “arsehole-ness�) went to have a word with him around about midnight, my nephew smacked him over the head 4 times with the end of a wooden broom causing a 3� gash, which resulted in him having to go casualty.

My nephew stormed off only to come home in the early hours when only my sister & my other nephew & niece were in the house.
After being let in (his dad had taken his keys off him prior to being bashed) by my sister, he started to have a go at her. Resulting in him punching my sister in the upper left arm (she now has a nice fist size bruise) before he stormed off to bed. My sister was quite naturally scared being in the house with him without my brother-in-law being there after that.

This morning he’s slightly, & I mean slightly, apologetic. But he still thinks it’s everyone else’s fault not his own. Even his younger (15yr old) brother doesn’t want to speak to him.

Now, my sister wants me to have a word with him, as she thinks he’ll listen to me.
So I’m going around there tomorrow night. That way, things may have cooled off slightly. Because at the moment I just want to rip his head off & give him a good beating myself. However I really don’t think that will solve anything in the long run. But not having kids myself yet, let alone kids that age. I really don’t know how to handle it.
I need to try & get through to him that if he hits my sister again I’ll bury him. That smacking his dad around (although I don’t like him) is not on either. And that if he keeps up this attitude of being hard done by, he’s got no chance of becoming an officer, because he’ll probably end up with a criminal record.
Believe it or not, but he is a really bright, hard working kid. I think the drink is the biggest problem & the fact that he thinks he’s the big “I am�.

So over to my fellow Arrsers to try and give me some advice on the matter.
Feel free to PM me if your answer is too helpful for the NAAFI.
Cheers.

Tell him he has no chance of being an Officer, he will not survive long as a Soldier and he may as well consider a career with all the rest of todays 18yo chav mentallists. On benefits

Princess Margaret once made a similar comment about Edward apparently. She (so I am told) thought he was a problematic nephew and a useless cunt to boot.

Had a smiliar problem with my eldest son when he was 18/19. A complete twat, 6ft 1 tall, me (his mum, ex WRAC) 5ft 3ins. Faced him out, threatened him with the plod, told him to kill himself quietly and without mess when he threatened suicide cos 'no-one understands me!'.

Yeah, we understood him alright.

Then ex-hubby, all 5ft 7ins of him, used him as a punch bag. Yay! Eldest son collapsed like a pricked bladder. Then said son joined the Royal Navy and did 6 and a half years as a submariner - taught him a few things but he's still a complete twat and he's 38 now.

He's in Oz, emigrated - best place for him. As my friend said - there's only so much you can do with the raw material provided.

Punch your nephew's lights out and tell him you'll cut his balls off with a butter knife if he ever threatens your sister again. Tell him he has 2 hopes of getting into officer training, and one of those is Bob Hope.

Leopards and spots, and all that. Sometimes it's best to realise that there are apples that turn bad on the tree, and cut your losses. It hurts, but it's best for the remaining crop.

Good luck! But DON'T let him get away with his crappy behaviour. Who died and made him King, for god's sake?

This incident happened less than a week ago and it seems like all and sundry are holding a major love in for him. Lots of "we're there for you" and "please learn how to cope with your anger".

Seems to me he should have been cold shouldered for at least a fortnight - kipping on friends floors, nowhere to get laundry done, no Mum cooked meals on the table each evening. Perhaps then he would realise that actions have consequences.

My old man did exactly that to me when I was about 17 following a drunken bout of extreme verbal abuse to my whole family (never lifted a finger to them - never have since either)- after a couple of weeks I was begging for forgiveness and had genuinely learned the error of my ways, we've never looked back.

By 18 I was fully independent and knew that, whenever I needed to get away from it all for a bit then home was waiting. Likewise if I ever got into real shit then Dad would have been there in a minute to help me sort things.

Spare the rod and all that......