Worst non-fiction war film

**Joker** · 25-06-2009, 08:25

Accepting Black Hawk Down didn't really run in line with the the book, I felt it was a pretty good film in the sense of reflecting the confusion and fear in battle. I would suggest, and I will no doubt receive incoming on this, waiting for the initial strike to go in, and the outer and inner cordon being inserted, it was not that far off what can happen on the ground.

The Owen Wilson file was Behind Enemy Lines, utter tosh. Tom Cruise in Valkyrie was entertaining.

**big_mad_ejit** · 25-06-2009, 10:24

Fans of completely shite war films (fiction or non-fiction) have a treat a-coming

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361748/

I haven't seen it myself but I can't wait to see if it is as utterly w-ank as Pearl Harbour, Braveheart or the Patriot.

**pongo6863** · 25-06-2009, 10:27

The other thing about Septics is their spelling; what the hell are 'Basterds'?

**Alsacien** · 25-06-2009, 10:35

[quote="Tazzers"]

And don't get me started on the Soviets either, it was only a matter of circumstance that British troops didn't fight against them under Finnish command after the Soviets attacked them.

The Winter War and Continuation War - 2 of my pet subjects.

The Brits never had any intention of supporting Mannerheim against the Soviets, only factors impacting what happened to Swedish iron ore were on the agenda, and then only just.
The "plan" proposed of going via land from Norway was just smoke and mirrors - all parties knew that and Mannerheim planned accordingly.
Regarding aid. It took us 6 months to give them a handful of obsolete planes - and no spares so they could not fly away.....

**tropper66** · 25-06-2009, 10:42

Originally Posted by old_fat_and_hairy

Originally Posted by pongo6863

Originally Posted by Rudie

"The One That Got Away" That was pretty naff from what I remember. Paul McGann slotting half of the Iraqi Army single handed,not to mention giving caring advice to young sproggy members of his patrol (as if!)
And what about the way Vince Phillips was portrayed? No wonder his family are hacked off.

Pile of w ank.

I thought 'The One That Got Away' was about Von Werra the (only) German POW to have successfully escaped. Mind you, that was very average now I think about it...

Aye, that's the one I thought of too. Hardy Kruger, as I recall, played the lead. Not a terribly good film, but a bit on the unique side.

I am using "Rocks in the Clouds" by Edward Doylerbush as a sort of walking guide , one of the storys in the book is about two German pilots Harry Wappler and Heinz Scnabel who stole a Miles Magister R1967 While pretending to be Dutch airforce and almost making it but for running out of fuel and crash landing in Caister on sea

**King_of_the_Burpas** · 25-06-2009, 10:53

Originally Posted by vvaannmmaann

Shame on you, vvaannmmaann.

As any fule kno, this is one of the greatest films ever made by anyone, anywhere.

Damn sight more accurate than U-571 and almost as funny.

**old_fat_and_hairy** · 25-06-2009, 10:54

Originally Posted by tropper66

Originally Posted by old_fat_and_hairy

Originally Posted by pongo6863

Originally Posted by Rudie

"The One That Got Away" That was pretty naff from what I remember. Paul McGann slotting half of the Iraqi Army single handed,not to mention giving caring advice to young sproggy members of his patrol (as if!)
And what about the way Vince Phillips was portrayed? No wonder his family are hacked off.

Pile of w ank.

I thought 'The One That Got Away' was about Von Werra the (only) German POW to have successfully escaped. Mind you, that was very average now I think about it...

Aye, that's the one I thought of too. Hardy Kruger, as I recall, played the lead. Not a terribly good film, but a bit on the unique side.

I am using "Rocks in the Clouds" by Edward Doylerbush as a sort of walking guide , one of the storys in the book is about two German pilots Harry Wappler and Heinz Scnabel who stole a Miles Magister R1967 While pretending to be Dutch airforce and almost making it but for running out of fuel and crash landing in Caister on sea

Cor! Fancy landing there. Lucky they were not eaten by the Norfolk in-breds. Now a major holiday resort for poor people. :D

**pongo6863** · 25-06-2009, 11:03

Originally Posted by old_fat_and_hairy

Cor! Fancy landing there. Lucky they were not eaten by the Norfolk in-breds. Now a major holiday resort for poor people. :D

I resent that remark - I went there on holiday when I was a kid! No, take that back. Thinking about, it I hated every minute...

**Rarden_reaper** · 25-06-2009, 11:17

Originally Posted by deefadog

DOG SOLDIERS

That's "non fiction" film

Bellend

**Vimeiro** · 25-06-2009, 11:30

Originally Posted by Rarden_reaper

Originally Posted by wildcard.rgbw

Does anyone have a "non-fiction" account of war which has been put into the big screen that is so horrendously crap it deserves a mention?

I'll start with Bravo Two Zero, mainly all that gung-honess, ie. way they pepperpot forwards at 2 heavily armoured troops carriers.

WTF would you know?

There were you?

...well I was trying to keep up.

**Rarden_reaper** · 25-06-2009, 11:33

[quote="Vimeiro"]

Originally Posted by Rarden_reaper

Originally Posted by wildcard.rgbw

Does anyone have a "non-fiction" account of war which has been put into the big screen that is so horrendously crap it deserves a mention?

I'll start with Bravo Two Zero, mainly all that gung-honess, ie. way they pepperpot forwards at 2 heavily armoured troops carriers.

WTF would you know?

There were you?

...well I was trying to keep up.[/quote]

What with, the Bravo Two Zero contact or the embassy siege?

**Vimeiro** · 25-06-2009, 11:39

[quote="Rarden_reaper"]

Originally Posted by Vimeiro

Originally Posted by Rarden_reaper

Originally Posted by wildcard.rgbw

Does anyone have a "non-fiction" account of war which has been put into the big screen that is so horrendously crap it deserves a mention?

I'll start with Bravo Two Zero, mainly all that gung-honess, ie. way they pepperpot forwards at 2 heavily armoured troops carriers.

WTF would you know?

There were you?

...well I was trying to keep up.[/quote]

What with, the Bravo Two Zero contact or the embassy siege?

The B20 contact. My knee never felt the same after I knocked it going throught the balcony window.

**Rarden_reaper** · 25-06-2009, 11:51

lol! :D

**Tazzers** · 25-06-2009, 12:26

[quote="Alsacien"]

Originally Posted by Tazzers

And don't get me started on the Soviets either, it was only a matter of circumstance that British troops didn't fight against them under Finnish command after the Soviets attacked them.

The Winter War and Continuation War - 2 of my pet subjects.

The Brits never had any intention of supporting Mannerheim against the Soviets, only factors impacting what happened to Swedish iron ore were on the agenda, and then only just.
The "plan" proposed of going via land from Norway was just smoke and mirrors - all parties knew that and Mannerheim planned accordingly.
Regarding aid. It took us 6 months to give them a handful of obsolete planes - and no spares so they could not fly away.....

Well fook me backwards we cnuted up yet again. Why can't people just get a grip and accept we make mistakes just like any other fcuker and stop doing your own country up the shi'tter. Either that or fcuk off somewhere else and snipe from afar. This 'glass is half empty, I hate my fcuking country ballox really grips my shit'.

....................and rest.

**Alsacien** · 25-06-2009, 12:33

[quote="Tazzers"]

Originally Posted by Alsacien

Originally Posted by Tazzers

And don't get me started on the Soviets either, it was only a matter of circumstance that British troops didn't fight against them under Finnish command after the Soviets attacked them.

The Winter War and Continuation War - 2 of my pet subjects.

The Brits never had any intention of supporting Mannerheim against the Soviets, only factors impacting what happened to Swedish iron ore were on the agenda, and then only just.
The "plan" proposed of going via land from Norway was just smoke and mirrors - all parties knew that and Mannerheim planned accordingly.
Regarding aid. It took us 6 months to give them a handful of obsolete planes - and no spares so they could not fly away.....

Well fook me backwards we cnuted up yet again. Why can't people just get a grip and accept we make mistakes just like any other fcuker and stop doing your own country up the shi'tter. Either that or fcuk off somewhere else and snipe from afar. This 'glass is half empty, I hate my fcuking country ballox really grips my s***'.

....................and rest.

I think you may need to up your medication mate. Not sure I even understand what you are trying to say.
Who said we made a mistake? I for one don't, but we probably could have been more honest about it.