Worst non-fiction war film

**Bazzinho1977** · 24-06-2009, 21:12

Although partly fiction, it is meant to be a realistic account. At all costs avoid "American Soldiers: A Day in Iraq". Really - it is the worst filmed, directed, written and acted film that has ever been made in any realm. Ever. At all.

**chrisg46** · 24-06-2009, 21:27

Originally Posted by Bazzinho1977

Although partly fiction, it is meant to be a realistic account. At all costs avoid "American Soldiers: A Day in Iraq". Really - it is the worst filmed, directed, written and acted film that has ever been made in any realm. Ever. At all.

Seconded, i managed twenty minutes before it was wrenched from dvd player. Horrific piece of turd.
Also may i not suggest Andy McNabs Tour of Duty, with its low budget re-enactments

**Barrack Room Lawyer** · 24-06-2009, 21:52

Originally Posted by jockmod69

''ZULU''

Inaccurate,

Not far wrong:

The Real Zulu

**wildcard.rgbw** · 24-06-2009, 23:49

OOoh! Oooh! I got one! And it's going to put even Black Hawk Down to shame!!!

Tears of the Sun! An elite 6 man team takes on the whole of whatever part of Africa they're in! A sniper runs forward whilst his M21 is bouncing up and down and laying off accurate rounds his bipod must be fitted to an invisible shopping trolley!!!

Gotta love the part where that bloke is walking and shooting with his whole rifle in one hand!

The one who got away was pretty naff as well he shot up the whole army and the way that general bloke goes "we have all these people looking for him" you'd think they'd have better threats to assess with a whole invasion underway?

**LukeyP** · 25-06-2009, 00:13

Pearl Harbour, that film made me sick

**cupoftea** · 25-06-2009, 00:37

What about the one where President Churchill orders the rescue of Anne Frank?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xJq1f_8bw4

Edit: Pause the credits at the end.

**joey_deacons_lad** · 25-06-2009, 01:03

Originally Posted by cdn_spr

Thanks tiger stacker, I forgot about that one.

Another crap Mel Gibson film is 'We Were Soldiers Once'. It may be factually correct in some ways, being based on the memoirs of the CO of the unit involved, but by christ doesn't it feature some awfully schlocky, schmaltzy cliched crap about war.... Even the special effects were cliched!

And the bayonet charge at the end which never happened FFS

The book is a good read the film only shows half the story the relieving battalion came in and had to march 5k through the jungle but the NVA cut through them while strung out in a marching column and inflicted worse casualties than on the lads in LZ x-ray. I highly recommend the book

**Goldbricker** · 25-06-2009, 02:06

Originally Posted by Rocketeer

Think there was a Frank Sinatra/Steve McQueen flick about the Far East that involved Chindits in some way..though they had no-name parts and got shot at a lot while Frank and Steve foiled evil...

Never so Few- and it was based upon the OSS Detachment 101

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OSS_Detachment_101

But it was crap, basically a vehicle for Sinatras rat pack and McQueen.

Oh and no Chindits were shot during the making of that movie.

**auscam** · 25-06-2009, 02:45

Originally Posted by Rocketeer

Nope.. not Objective Burma.. got that and the film I was thinking about on a compilation DVD.. just had to go dig through the trash bin for it.

Frank Sinatra, Peter Lawford, Gina Lollobrigida, McQueen, Brian Donlevy: MGM flick:" Never So Few" ..IIRC was McQueen's first 'starring' role..based on a novel by Tom Chamales.

As for the Errol Flynn flick.. if you think it was crap history blame should go to Tech Advisors:
Major Charles Galbraith US Para Regt. and Major M.H. Whyte British Indian Army Battalion, Burma Rifles.

though , truth be told, they may not have had much input or been listened to, other than on ' how to hold a rifle' and ' how to salute' and ' did we get the buttons right?' kind of support..as I've learned from my own experiences as a tech support/media advisor on 'film/tv projects' myself...the tales one could tell.. sigh..mumblegrumble...

Well go on, speak up! You've got us interested now. This is the NAAFI Bar, y'know.

**auscam** · 25-06-2009, 02:48

Originally Posted by deefadog

DOG SOLDIERS

I haven't seen it, but apparently it's much more entertaining if watched with tongue-in-cheek. as was supposedly intended.

**deerhunter** · 25-06-2009, 06:58

Originally Posted by cupoftea

What about the one where President Churchill orders the rescue of Anne Frank?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xJq1f_8bw4

Edit: Pause the credits at the end.

I don't know why it took the Germans so long to find her. I went to Amsterdam a week ago, and there are signs for her house all over the place.

**vvaannmmaann** · 25-06-2009, 07:07

**pongo6863** · 25-06-2009, 07:36

Originally Posted by Rudie

"The One That Got Away" That was pretty naff from what I remember. Paul McGann slotting half of the Iraqi Army single handed,not to mention giving caring advice to young sproggy members of his patrol (as if!)
And what about the way Vince Phillips was portrayed? No wonder his family are hacked off.

Pile of w ank.

I thought 'The One That Got Away' was about Von Werra the (only) German POW to have successfully escaped. Mind you, that was very average now I think about it...

**old_fat_and_hairy** · 25-06-2009, 08:06

Originally Posted by pongo6863

Originally Posted by Rudie

"The One That Got Away" That was pretty naff from what I remember. Paul McGann slotting half of the Iraqi Army single handed,not to mention giving caring advice to young sproggy members of his patrol (as if!)
And what about the way Vince Phillips was portrayed? No wonder his family are hacked off.

Pile of w ank.

I thought 'The One That Got Away' was about Von Werra the (only) German POW to have successfully escaped. Mind you, that was very average now I think about it...

Aye, that's the one I thought of too. Hardy Kruger, as I recall, played the lead. Not a terribly good film, but a bit on the unique side.

**Tazzers** · 25-06-2009, 08:14

VERY true about the Indian troops, they were just ethnic add-ons in ours as well despite being the massive bulk of the army. 3rd army still got the sh1t end of the stick regards publicity though and the Chindits were rock hard. No films of them at all as I remember!

I think it would help if the modern Indian Army would recognise the efforts of their British Empire forebears. If the Indian government don't want to talk about them what chance do they have?

As for the Poles. Fair play to them and all that but I never see anybody say 'hey well done the Brits and the French who declared war on Germany when Germany invaded Poland'. Fair enough it didn't do much good for the Poles but at least they didn't turn the other cheek and in the long run, even though it took 45 years, they remained a nation in their own right and eventually got their freedom. In return France too got invaded and the Brits sacrificed as many people as did the Americans and with a far smaller poulation to boot.

And don't get me started on the Soviets either, it was only a matter of circumstance that British troops didn't fight against them under Finnish command after the Soviets attacked them.