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Thread: Worst non-fiction war film

  1. #41
    Senior Member exbleep's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Braveheart
    BRING BACK THE OLD N BOLD. WE THINK WE ARE MISSING IT, WHATEVER IT IS.

  2. #42
    Moderator cdn_spr's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Speaking of canadians, we only get bit parts in both Band of Brothers and A Bridge Too Far...this despite clearing the Scheldt, Juno Beach, the Italian campaign and participating in Op Varsity (amongst others).

    As for Objective Burma, it is mentioned with disdain by George Macdonald Fraser in 'Quartered Safe Out Here'....

    My vote would have to go for a very recent addition to the pantheon of crap fiction, the newly released:

    Hurt Locker

  3. #43
    Senior Member tiger stacker's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    The Canucks and The Indian involved in Italy do play a prominent part in the film "The English Patient".
    Although an Englishman, it was in Scotland I found the three best things in my life: my wife, my constituency
    and my Regiment.

    Lt Col WS Churchill


    "just one more step, to put one foot in front of the other and take one more step". Maj. Gen. Frank Merrill

  4. #44
    Senior Member Rudie's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Quote Originally Posted by exbleep
    Braveheart
    That and "The Patriot"
    I f ucking hate Braveheart,1000's of thick schemie numptys actually believe it is an acurate portrale of Scottish History.
    Nothing f ucking worse than being in a pub during a Scotland game and hearing misinformed Tartan Army t wats reciting Mel"I hate the British"Gibson's freedom speech.



    c unts.
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  5. #45
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Quote Originally Posted by jockmod69
    ''ZULU''
    I know where you live.....
    "...They train young men to drop fire on people.... but their commanders won't allow them to write "F**K" on their airplanes because......its obscene..." (Kurtz - Apocalypse Now)

  6. #46
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Think there was a Frank Sinatra/Steve McQueen flick about the Far East that involved Chindits in some way..though they had no-name parts and got shot at a lot while Frank and Steve foiled evil...
    My Lesbian neighbours gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said ' I wanna watch '.

  7. #47
    Senior Member hammy123's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Quote Originally Posted by Rarden_reaper
    Quote Originally Posted by wildcard.rgbw
    Does anyone have a "non-fiction" account of war which has been put into the big screen that is so horrendously crap it deserves a mention?

    I'll start with Bravo Two Zero, mainly all that gung-honess, ie. way they pepperpot forwards at 2 heavily armoured troops carriers.
    WTF would you know?

    There were you?

    I dont think you needed to be there to realise the programme was a pile of borloxxxx
    Ban censorship in the NAAFI

    I feel sick

    Tits Oot

  8. #48
    Senior Member skintboymike's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    I recently received Defiance starring Daniel Craig on Blu Ray as a present, but haven't had time to sit and watch it yet. Can't make up my mind whether I want to or not, all that keeps going through my mind is THAT scene in Casino Royale, which is horrendously offputting. Anyone seen it? (Defiance that is, not Casino Royale)
    The above quote has been thunked up by me personally. Go thunk your own. â“’ SBM Productions MMX

  9. #49
    Senior Member StumpyHussar's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketeer
    Think there was a Frank Sinatra/Steve McQueen flick about the Far East that involved Chindits in some way..though they had no-name parts and got shot at a lot while Frank and Steve foiled evil...
    Think you might be confusing that 'classic' Errol Flynn film about them liberating Burma mentioned before. Merrills Mauraders bowlarks who did good work but did not quite beat the dark side on their todds :(
    "The Chieftain tank is the best tank in the world...as long as it breaks down in a good fire position" Anon

  10. #50
    Senior Member Rudie's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    "The One That Got Away" That was pretty naff from what I remember. Paul McGann slotting half of the Iraqi Army single handed,not to mention giving caring advice to young sproggy members of his patrol (as if!)
    And what about the way Vince Phillips was portrayed? No wonder his family are hacked off.

    Pile of w ank.
    "I would rather see Dave Lee Travis play Macbeth"

  11. #51
    Senior Member mac_uk's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Can't believe no one has mentined Blackhawk Down yet. A good enough flick for mindless violence and the pleasure of seeing lots of ammo expended and fuzzy wuzzies fall over.

    But historical accuracy?
    Death may be certain, but comms aren't.

  12. #52
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Quote Originally Posted by Miner
    Quote Originally Posted by tropper66
    Quote Originally Posted by Miner
    Hollywood wanted to make a film about Stalingrad.
    Until someone pointed out that no Americans were there, & that the Russians managed very well on their own thank you very much.
    "Enemy at the Gates" mean anything to you
    I was joking about Hollywoods "re-writing" of history, & how they saved the world from dinosaurs, aliens, Bonaparte, Ghengis Khan, the Moors, & the Spanish Armada.
    What about the clap?

  13. #53
    Senior Member tiger stacker's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Not to be confused with Objective Burma with that Tasmanian Tiger. Who really was 4F due to his weak heart, exacerbated by bouts of malaria and tuberculosis.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053108/
    Although an Englishman, it was in Scotland I found the three best things in my life: my wife, my constituency
    and my Regiment.

    Lt Col WS Churchill


    "just one more step, to put one foot in front of the other and take one more step". Maj. Gen. Frank Merrill

  14. #54
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Frank Sinatra and Steve McQueen were in "Never So Few" I seem to recall Charles Bronson was in it, plus a token Brit who gets killed.
    I wish I had Beckhams money.....but not his wife.

  15. #55
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Nope.. not Objective Burma.. got that and the film I was thinking about on a compilation DVD.. just had to go dig through the trash bin for it.

    Frank Sinatra, Peter Lawford, Gina Lollobrigida, McQueen, Brian Donlevy: MGM flick:" Never So Few" ..IIRC was McQueen's first 'starring' role..based on a novel by Tom Chamales.

    As for the Errol Flynn flick.. if you think it was crap history blame should go to Tech Advisors:
    Major Charles Galbraith US Para Regt. and Major M.H. Whyte British Indian Army Battalion, Burma Rifles.

    though , truth be told, they may not have had much input or been listened to, other than on ' how to hold a rifle' and ' how to salute' and ' did we get the buttons right?' kind of support..as I've learned from my own experiences as a tech support/media advisor on 'film/tv projects' myself...the tales one could tell.. sigh..mumblegrumble...
    My Lesbian neighbours gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said ' I wanna watch '.

  16. #56
    Moderator cdn_spr's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Thanks tiger stacker, I forgot about that one.


    Another crap Mel Gibson film is 'We Were Soldiers Once'. It may be factually correct in some ways, being based on the memoirs of the CO of the unit involved, but by christ doesn't it feature some awfully schlocky, schmaltzy cliched crap about war.... Even the special effects were cliched!

  17. #57
    Senior Member deefadog's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    DOG SOLDIERS

  18. #58
    Senior Member alib's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Quote Originally Posted by cdn_spr
    Thanks tiger stacker, I forgot about that one.


    Another crap Mel Gibson film is 'We Were Soldiers Once'. It may be factually correct in some ways, being based on the memoirs of the CO of the unit involved, but by christ doesn't it feature some awfully schlocky, schmaltzy cliched crap about war.... Even the special effects were cliched!
    There's a scene in that one that rings true. The one where they can smell the enemy at night. Fish Sauce tends to repeat on you.
    That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

  19. #59
    Senior Member Smiler_1985's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Loved 'Cruel Sea' though I know its fiction. Best non-fiction.......not sure but I loved 9th Company. Not sure what would be my worst war flick, but iv seen a few crap ones
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  20. #60
    Senior Member archer's Avatar
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    Re: Worst non-fiction war film

    Quote Originally Posted by skintboymike
    I recently received Defiance starring Daniel Craig on Blu Ray as a present, but haven't had time to sit and watch it yet. Can't make up my mind whether I want to or not, all that keeps going through my mind is THAT scene in Casino Royale, which is horrendously offputting. Anyone seen it? (Defiance that is, not Casino Royale)
    Just watched it.
    Didn't hold me and had the air of Schindlers List even down to the string music and end pics with the "children and grandchildren now number tens of thousands" caption.- oh and the German uniforms didn't look quite right!

    Score 3/10

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