Tattoos - The good, the bad, the ugly and the regrets.

**tattybadger** · 25-06-2009, 15:13

Originally Posted by Sparky2339

Originally Posted by Gungythree

When I was younger I had Auchtermuchty tattooed on my willy,now that I'm old it reads Amy

:D

Similiar one; Borrostouness (Bo'ness) shrinks to Bones.

WENDY on mine....

Welcome to Jamaica .... have a nice day.

Shit - I know.

**Alsacien** · 25-06-2009, 15:13

Originally Posted by Sparky2339

Originally Posted by Gungythree

When I was younger I had Auchtermuchty tattooed on my willy,now that I'm old it reads Amy

:D

Similiar one; Borrostouness (Bo'ness) shrinks to Bones.

Old.
Black guy goes to the urinal with a white guy.
Both guys notice they have "Wendy" tattooed on their cocks.
"You got a bird called Wendy too then?" says the white guy.
"No man [stretches his cock out], it say "Welcome to Barbados, have a nice day."

**Sparky2339** · 25-06-2009, 15:15

Originally Posted by Alsacien

Originally Posted by Sparky2339

Originally Posted by Gungythree

When I was younger I had Auchtermuchty tattooed on my willy,now that I'm old it reads Amy

:D

Similiar one; Borrostouness (Bo'ness) shrinks to Bones.

Old.
Black guy goes to the urinal with a white guy.
Both guys notice they have "Wendy" tattooed on their cocks.
"You got a bird called Wendy too then?" says the white guy.
"No man [stretches his c*** out], it say "Welcome to Barbados, have a nice day."

That's an old classic that one!!!

**thegimp** · 25-06-2009, 16:02

Bootneck chad tats

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/gr...6246596&ref=ts

Including

Weapon cleaning brush
Sheppys cider
cocking handles
9 x 9 tents
disabled signs
hoovers
NAAFI opening times

etc

never spoof for chad tats

**Sparky2339** · 25-06-2009, 16:04

Not as funny as the small print on tattybadger's last post though!!!! :D :D

**MrHappy** · 25-06-2009, 17:15

Lad in my current regt who shall remain un-named has 'porn' written down his shaft and a picture of a star on his helmet. How he did it I will never know!

One of my better mates in the regt has 'your name' written on his arrse cheek.

**Sparky2339** · 25-06-2009, 17:18

Originally Posted by MrHappy

Lad in my current regt who shall remain un-named has 'porn' written down his shaft and a picture of a star on his helmet. How he did it I will never know!

One of my better mates in the regt has 'your name' written on his arrse cheek.

You know what they say in hollywood;

A star is porn.

I know, I'll just phone the local cab company the now...

**Rocketeer** · 25-06-2009, 17:24

um...er... how do you tattoo your bellend?

does it have to be hard or soft so as not to distort the 'art' when applying and...not a bit painful in a sensitive region?

and, I'd hate to be the tat artist who had to do the deed..unless, of course it was a girl like that TV Kat chick.. then, it would be no problem to keep it up...well, on second thought, it could have been messy part way through and the design might smear..

oh.,.. the images in my brain.

I need a stiff drink and some bleach..

**Hairy_Fairy** · 25-06-2009, 17:30

Talking of willy art - I do have the name of that famous railway station in Wales tattooed on my man....

Rhyl..

Seriously do have no regrets about the tattoo I had done in Leeds on my first weekends leave from Harrogate - a right of passage for all in our room. MY swallow does look a bit like a pelican though....

How about this guy then? (NSFW probably....)
Puff the magic dragon

**Sparky2339** · 25-06-2009, 17:39

Originally Posted by Rocketeer

um...er... how do you tattoo your bellend?

does it have to be hard or soft so as not to distort the 'art' when applying and...not a bit painful in a sensitive region?

and, I'd hate to be the tat artist who had to do the deed..unless, of course it was a girl like that TV Kat chick.. then, it would be no problem to keep it up...well, on second thought, it could have been messy part way through and the design might smear..

oh.,.. the images in my brain.

I need a stiff drink and some bleach..

Porn and elastic bands apparently.

Then chloroform or what have you Ro.. sumfin or other.

Not that I'd know, but I know a man who can.

He's a dab hand at dodgy inju.. engines too.

blindfire · 25-06-2009, 19:40

My mate from the Royal Hampshires(that was an infantry regt for you young uns :D ), had a perfect steam iron outline tatooed onto his back, mind this had more to do with with him falling backwards onto said iron, whilst drunk, which was being held by another guy who had just finished some pressing

**Sparky2339** · 25-06-2009, 19:57

Originally Posted by blindfire

My mate from the Royal Hampshires(that was an infantry regt for you young uns :D ), had a perfect steam iron outline tatooed onto his back, mind this had more to do with with him falling backwards onto said iron, whilst drunk, which was being held by another guy who had just finished some pressing

Cheers for that Blindy. :D

I think I'll just go for the needle, ta muchly.

Any iron, or slop burn - what have you, etc - douse it in plain flour. Works a treat for burns. Well slight burns. We all carry a bag of flour in our Sporran anyway, don't we?

For third degree Burns, see a Freemason.

"A burn should be immersed in water for at least 15mins"

Funnily enough, running water in Jockaneese is kent as a burn...

Edited for English.

blindfire · 25-06-2009, 20:02

Sparky, it really is a perfect impression of an iron...absolute class...mind it was slightly painful at time according to the recipient :D

**Sparky2339** · 25-06-2009, 20:05

Originally Posted by blindfire

Sparky, it really is a perfect impression of an iron...absolute class...mind it was slightly painful at time according to the recipient :D

Yon fella has more than earned his "stripes" so to speak, in his case. :D

Was it Rowenta or K-Tel??

**dropshortjock** · 25-06-2009, 20:06

I did a course with a Bootneck who played Spoof for chad tats (sadly no picture in the Facebook group)... loser went out the next day and got a 4 tonner tattooed on his shin. Class.