Page 1 of 2 12 Last
Results 1 to 15 of 21
  1. 07-06-2009, 15:34 #1
    The_Highway_Man
    The_Highway_Man is offline
    Senior Member The_Highway_Man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Cumbria
    Posts
    1,580

    Celebrity Government

    After seeing the mess the present Liabour government has got the country in, which self obsessed celebrities do you think could do the job better and what could they bring to the government? Could Simon Cowell with his straight talking take over from Cyclops Broon? could Jeremy Clarkson walk into the role of Transport Minister? Arrsers, it's over to you
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. 07-06-2009, 16:36 #2
    PandaLOVE
    PandaLOVE is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    5,056

    Re: Celebrity Government

    FFS leave Jeremy Clarkson alone.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. 07-06-2009, 16:43 #3
    still21inmymind
    still21inmymind is offline
    Senior Member still21inmymind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    2,700

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Prince Philip as Foreign Secretary?
    The balance of probablity is that the aforegoing post will, at some stage, have been edited for mongtype.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. 07-06-2009, 16:44 #4
    The_Highway_Man
    The_Highway_Man is offline
    Senior Member The_Highway_Man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Cumbria
    Posts
    1,580

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Quote Originally Posted by PandaLOVE
    FFS leave Jeremy Clarkson alone.
    It's not meant as a dig, I think he can do a better job than the current clown ;)
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. 07-06-2009, 18:23 #5
    Bigbaz666
    Bigbaz666 is offline
    Senior Member Bigbaz666's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    210

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Chubby Brown as Foreign Sec.....Charles Bronson as Defence Minister....Clarkson for Broons job!!!!
    "Mecca......Archer.....They'll be no talk of Mecca in this establishment....."
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. 07-06-2009, 18:47 #6
    Psypher
    Psypher is offline
    Senior Member Psypher's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,430

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Chancellor of the Exchequer: Carol Vordeman
    Lord Chancellor: Ian Hislop
    Secretary of State for Defence: Joanna Lumley
    Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs: Brian Blessed (just to confuse and scare johnny foreigner)
    Secretary of State for Transport: Clarkson obviously
    Secretary of State for Wales: Tom Jones
    Secretary of State for Scotland: Gordon Ramsey

    ...and Norman Wisdom for PM, oops my mistake he's already got the job.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. 07-06-2009, 19:20 #7
    SlimeyToad
    SlimeyToad is offline
    Senior Member SlimeyToad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    864

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Chief Whip: Cynthia Payne
    Setting unbelievably low standards since 1960 and consistently failing to achieve them at every given opportunity.........recommended for a commission!!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. 07-06-2009, 19:34 #8
    PoisonDwarf
    PoisonDwarf is offline
    Senior Member PoisonDwarf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    5,804

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Minister for Women - Geoff Boycott.
    "I firmly believe that we should not march into Baghdad. To occupy Iraq would instantly shatter our coalition, turning the whole Arab world against us and make a broken tyrant into a latter-day Arab hero. Assigning young soldiers to a fruitless hunt for a securely entrenched dictator and condemning them to fight in what would be an unwinnable urban guerrilla war." George Bush Snr, A World Transformed, 1998
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. 07-06-2009, 19:38 #9
    the_guru
    the_guru is online now
    Senior Member the_guru's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    6,917

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Chancellor of the Exchequer = Ken Dodd.
    "Is it a crime to hit a student across the back of the head with a snooker ball in a sock?"

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. 07-06-2009, 19:47 #10
    The_Highway_Man
    The_Highway_Man is offline
    Senior Member The_Highway_Man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Cumbria
    Posts
    1,580

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Quote Originally Posted by the_guru
    Chancellor of the Exchequer = Ken Dodd.
    No, he can be the Director of HMRC
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. 07-06-2009, 19:58 #11
    12minden
    12minden is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    256

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Boris johnson gotta be PM
    Clarkson for transport minister
    Hammond for road safety minister
    Maggie T to commonwealth office
    Lumley for MOD
    Chubby Brown equality minister
    Mr Bean Health & Safety office
    Bob Spour media relations office
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. 07-06-2009, 20:04 #12
    mucus2
    mucus2 is offline
    Senior Member mucus2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1,263

    Re: Celebrity Government

    I'd like to see a Tsarship consisting of James May, the bods from Coast and Timeteam to act as mentors for our schoolchildren. They get me interested in stuff I don't really care about, so no doubt they will get our yooves interested.
    Some days you wake and immediately start to worry. Nothing in particular is wrong, it's just the suspicion that forces are aligning quietly and there will be trouble ahead..... Formally known as Mucus, before I lost the log in....

    Well two days of digging and searching in the general area and we still haven't found the cunting leak. Surely there must be technology more accurate than a grumpy old bloke in a yellow hi-vis coat, wielding a length of dowelling on a thread bobbin and claiming there may be a leak in the generic area known as "under there"?
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  13. 08-06-2009, 12:10 #13
    The_Highway_Man
    The_Highway_Man is offline
    Senior Member The_Highway_Man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Cumbria
    Posts
    1,580

    Re: Celebrity Government

    We could have the chuckle brothers in charge of immigration, one look at the irritating tw@ts would be enough to convince johnny foreigner to move elsewhere! ;)
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  14. 08-06-2009, 12:21 #14
    Grownup_Rafbrat
    Grownup_Rafbrat is offline
    Senior Member
    Grownup_Rafbrat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Between the shed and the woodburner
    Posts
    8,719

    Re: Celebrity Government

    Freddie Flintoff - Minister for Youth - he sets such a good example
    Viscount Rothermere - DWP - he contributes hardly anything in taxes so at least he'd be independent
    Lord Ashcroft - Minister for Non Doms
    Lord Mandelson - Immigration Minister with special responsibility for South American males
    David Beckham - Minister for Education
    Hattie Jaques and Joan Sims - Jobshare as Ministers for Health - oooh yess Matron
    Rupert Murdoch - Minister for Communications - another tax dodger who can be guaranteed independence
    Bono - minister for not giving any more taxpayers' money to foreigners who have nuclear programmes or space programmes
    James May - minister for housing - if he can make a garden out of plasticine, he can do anything!
    And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
    Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
    Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
    Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
    The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
    They call it easing the Spring.
    They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
    If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
    And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
    Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
    Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
    For today we have naming of parts.


    Henry Reed
    Proving that nothing has changed since World War Two
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  15. 08-06-2009, 12:41 #15
    Biped
    Biped is offline
    Sponsor Biped's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    11,166

    Re: Celebrity Government

    This lot should bring about a general improvement, and may even make Labour more electable in the coming elections:

    Ronald Reagan - PM
    Jade Goody - Culture Minister
    Alan Clark - Foreign Secretary
    Harold Shipman - Health Secretary
    David Caradine - Sports Minister
    Bob Kennedy - Northern Ireland Minister
    Kurt Cobain - Development Minister
    Arthur C Clarke - Science Minister
    Fred West - Education Minister
    Theo Van Gogh - Communities
    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Smith - 1776
    It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest. We address ourselves, not to their humanity but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our own necessities but of their advantages.
    Join me on HoboWars!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
Page 1 of 2 12 Last
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules
From arrse3.arrse.co.uk