Chat up lines; Whats the best?

**MrHappy** · 15-05-2009, 17:02

OK, so I thought that with the wealth of apparent pulling experience there seems to be in the NAAFI Bar that some of you might have some pretty decent chat up lines.......and some pretty sh*t ones! I'll give a few to start it off:

If you were a burger, you'd be the McTasty. Too cheesy? Then order it plain baby.

Grab your coat luv, you've pulled.

Nice legs, what time do they open?

By looking at my watch I can tell what colour underwear you have on. Your not wearing any!! Oh, sorry, it's 10 minutes fast.

I've tried all of the above and more and surprisingly have a low success rate. I need some new material!

Thanks in advance,

Mr H

**the_boy_syrup** · 15-05-2009, 17:06

"You have spanner eyes"
"Every time you look at me my nuts tighten"

"I know you've lost your virginity but can I have the box it came in"

**Maninthestreet** · 15-05-2009, 17:06

OK I'll open with act first talk later (no words) it's served me well in the past.

**Zega** · 15-05-2009, 17:08

"SURPRISE" followed by a good hook to the diaphragm.

**crimsonhussar** · 15-05-2009, 17:09

Get into the van and you wont get hurt............................

**Sparky2339** · 15-05-2009, 17:10

"wanna go halfers on a bbarstardd??"

I gave that line to a mate to use at a disco in the 80's. He had his eyes on some burd and didn't know what to say.

"It works for me every time mate I told him"...

It worked too.

Never did forgive my cousin for falling for it and marrying him.

**bossyboots** · 15-05-2009, 17:12

The best way to get over a woman is to get under another...whats YOUR name babe?

Can't guarantee it wont get you a swift left hook, but hey what the hell, no pain no gain eh

**MrHappy** · 15-05-2009, 17:13

[quote="Sparky2339"]"wanna go halfers on a bbarstardd??"

I've tried that one with a small amount of success, however it was kicking out time and she was bladdered. And I pis5ed her bed and had to leave pretty sharp in the morning. She shouldn't take strange people home!

Gotta love Swindon!

**Freols** · 15-05-2009, 17:44

Originally Posted by Paper_Tiger

"Did you fall from heaven..."

1) She looks welcoming "... because you look like an angel"

2) She looks pissed off at the advance "... because it looks like you fell on your face."

Jimmy Carr's idea I think, chat up lines with optional aborts midway, after committing.

More of these for sure, they are genius.

**nozzer007** · 15-05-2009, 17:57

how bout we go back to mine and do all the things im gonna tell my mates we did anyway.

does this hanky smell of chloriform

**PrinceAlbert** · 15-05-2009, 18:02

Done before, a zillion times

**joeblocky** · 15-05-2009, 18:05

1. "take your clothes off and bend over naughty girl"

2. punch in face and drag her back to the cave (cauncil flat)

3. "say hallo to my little friend" if she looks happy pull cock out if she's pissed pull out SA 80 A2

4. "i'm a wigger, wear tack suit bottoms all the time, deal drugs, stink, live in a peice of shit cauncil flat and will smack you about" this is guaranteed to work on any cauncil bird.

**the_boy_syrup** · 15-05-2009, 18:08

Originally Posted by PrinceAlbert

Done before, a zillion times

Do you get many takers with that one?

**FiveAlpha** · 15-05-2009, 18:08

Originally Posted by joeblocky

1. "take your clothes off and bend over naughty girl"

2. punch in face and drag her back to the cave (cauncil flat)

3. "say hallo to my little friend" if she looks happy pull c*** out if she pissed pull out SA 80 A2

4. "i'm a wigger, wear tack suit bottoms all the time, deal drugs, stink, live in a peice of s*** cauncil flat and will smack you about" this is guaranteed to work on any cauncil bird.

You fucking illiterate mong cunt. I fucking hate civvies.