This all sounds slightly post Jungian. You'll remember, of course, that Jung emphasized the importance of balance and harmony. He cautioned that modern people rely too heavily on science and logic and would benefit from integrating spirituality and appreciation of unconscious realms.

In my very humble opinion, therefore, you need to mix the curd with some skunk seeds and, before you enter the COD5 fray, pop a couple of amyl nitrate. If you don't have some sort of trancsendental out-of-your-mind, you-can't-fuck-it skirmishes with the baddies in Berlin I'll lick the curd off for you.

Hope this helps.

NAAFI bar or not! ... the first person to suggest that this gentleman should smear lemon curd on this helmet is barred! (my personal preference is for marmite)

you may be wearing the helmet on the wrong head?

Originally Posted by Archangel

NAAFI bar or not! ... the first person to suggest that this gentleman should smear lemon curd on this helmet is barred! (my personal preference is for marmite)

My preference is for Bovril.
& my dogs like it too, judging by the licking they give my plums as I shot my load into the Opfor on COD4.

Have you tried sitting, when playing COD5, with your nuts dangling in a glass of Ouzo?

Originally Posted by B_AND_T

Have you tried sitting, when playing COD5, with your nuts dangling in a glass of Ouzo?

Yeah - thought of that, but then parked it when I thought of the Beagle pack that would inevitably follow me around for weeks afterwards. I wouldn't mind, but the missus would find it a tad worrying as I sauntered around Lidl.

Originally Posted by Storeman Norman

Originally Posted by B_AND_T

Have you tried sitting, when playing COD5, with your nuts dangling in a glass of Ouzo?

Yeah - thought of that, but then parked it when I thought of the Beagle pack that would inevitably follow me around for weeks afterwards. I wouldn't mind, but the missus would find it a tad worrying as I sauntered around Lidl.

Your nuts have been dangled in ouzo for years - ever since you took to wearing a second-hand codpiece on your head and plaiting your pubes into dreadlocks.

As for strolling around Lidl - if I remembr correctly you were knicked by some flatulent, imbecile of a monkey (which hardly narrows down the field)in 1987 for ambling into a clip-joint in Paderborn wearing nothing but a smile, a lobon and half a jar of marmite smeared over your ring. IIRC there were two labradors and one poodle licking your furry balls as you giggled at the chimp slapping handcuffs on you shouted at the top of your squeeky vice "YOU FECKING MONKEYS - YOU'RE ONLY HAPPY SWINGING FROM TREES AND SCOFFING BANNANAS."

Originally Posted by tattybadger

if I remembr correctly you were knicked by some flatulent, imbecile of a monkey (which hardly narrows down the field)in 1987 for ambling into a clip-joint in Paderborn wearing nothing but a smile, a lobon and half a jar of marmite smeared over your ring. IIRC there were two labradors and one poodle licking your furry balls as you giggled at the chimp slapping handcuffs on you shouted at the top of your squeeky vice "YOU FECKING MONKEYS - YOU'RE ONLY HAPPY SWINGING FROM TREES AND SCOFFING BANNANAS."

And this is an arrestable offence in a German clip joint, is it? Purleeeze!

Wasn't he really nicked for dropping his 'bratty' wrappers on the strasse outside?

Originally Posted by walt_of_the_walts

Originally Posted by tattybadger

if I remembr correctly you were knicked by some flatulent, imbecile of a monkey (which hardly narrows down the field)in 1987 for ambling into a clip-joint in Paderborn wearing nothing but a smile, a lobon and half a jar of marmite smeared over your ring. IIRC there were two labradors and one poodle licking your furry balls as you giggled at the chimp slapping handcuffs on you shouted at the top of your squeeky vice "YOU FECKING MONKEYS - YOU'RE ONLY HAPPY SWINGING FROM TREES AND SCOFFING BANNANAS."

And this is an arrestable offence in German clip joint, is it? He was really done for littering outside on the strasse, wasn't he?

No - the Monkey knicked him under section 27 of the AA 19955, in that he was impersonating an officer (namely OC of the Monkey Coy) by using marmite as an aide to bestiality. Needless to say, despite the overwhelming eveidence against him, he got off the charge because, as we all know, 'monkeys never get their man'.

Originally Posted by tattybadger

Originally Posted by walt_of_the_walts

Originally Posted by tattybadger

if I remembr correctly you were knicked by some flatulent, imbecile of a monkey (which hardly narrows down the field)in 1987 for ambling into a clip-joint in Paderborn wearing nothing but a smile, a lobon and half a jar of marmite smeared over your ring. IIRC there were two labradors and one poodle licking your furry balls as you giggled at the chimp slapping handcuffs on you shouted at the top of your squeeky vice "YOU FECKING MONKEYS - YOU'RE ONLY HAPPY SWINGING FROM TREES AND SCOFFING BANNANAS."

And this is an arrestable offence in German clip joint, is it? He was really done for littering outside on the strasse, wasn't he?

No - the Monkey knicked him under section 27 of the AA 19955, in that he was impersonating an officer (namely OC of the Monkey Coy) by using marmite as an aide to bestiality. Needless to say, despite the overwhelming eveidence against him, he got off the charge because, as we all know, 'monkeys never get their man'.

This from the man who was caught raping a feral cat in his block. Never mind lemon curd, he had bound the fukcer with black nasty and was seen chasing the animal around the room, only slightly hampered by his 2" engorged manhood. Sweating like a Para in a spelling test, he was eventually apprehended whilst giving said animal the full benefit of his blue veined yogurt chucker.