That'd be hilarious. Watching poon movies with your current ride knowing you were in fact behind the camera or or the stand in butternut squash pumping the clam.

Wait and put the snuff work on one night when you want to split up obviously.

Originally Posted by hammy123

Im considering going for the kinetic solution, a home movie made with my ex before I married the current Mrs H, Im sure she will appreicate that this will help me through this rough patch.

Maybe Mrs H's home made movie with her ex (and Leroy, bubba and the rest of the boyz from the hood) will help.

Originally Posted by hammy123

Im considering going for the kinetic solution, a home movie made with my ex before I married the current Mrs H, Im sure she will appreicate that this will help me through this rough patch.

A 'danger wank'? Guaranteed to have the japanese sniper within a few strokes.

I hope she dosent recognise the room, its the same house you see

She may also recognise some of the visual and vocal traits, I may need to revise my act and go for a new style of sh*gging, maybe 1970's man as mentioned, or hippie man or something. If I stick to "come on you feckin fat b*tch, make me come or I'll tw*t you one", she may see the similarities with the vid.

Originally Posted by Lexx_valentine

Originally Posted by hammy123

I tried all the usual drills but nothing worked.

Getting her to slip a digit in your arrse? Can work wonders if they know what they're doing..

Is that like a 7 or a 3

Originally Posted by 762baynet

Originally Posted by hammy123

Im considering going for the kinetic solution, a home movie made with my ex before I married the current Mrs H, Im sure she will appreicate that this will help me through this rough patch.

A 'danger *'? Guaranteed to have the japanese sniper within a few strokes.

I feel she is being unfair in my hour of need, she has always mentioned about a threesome, but when I keep asking she bottles it. I think she would appreciate it if I took the initiative and got her mate pished and brought her back to the house. What do you reckon?

Check out this link

http://onania.org/asm/archives/1612

You have a speshul medical condition called autosexual orientation.

The term covers men who are reliant on a completely constant form of self-stimulation as well as those who get used to such an “idiosyncratic� style of stimulation that they disable their ability to ejaculate during regular sex. When the sex that you have with yourself is so perfect that you can’t translate it into sex with someone else, you have a problem. Dr David Goldmeier, a sexual dysfunction expert at St Mary’s Hospital, West London, says: “Some men who suffer from retarded ejaculation report that the combination of very erotic fantasies at masturbation, combined with high-level manual friction, enable them to climax in that scenario, but that vaginal sex is not so much of a turn-on, because the man does not get the same degree of stimulation and because the woman is not as erotic as their personalised masturbatory fantasy.�

Your ejaculation is retarded, ha ha ha

IVe decided to have it out with Mrs H and just tell her that my spanking is better than sh*gging her. I dont have any options

Originally Posted by hammy123

Originally Posted by 762baynet

Originally Posted by hammy123

Im considering going for the kinetic solution, a home movie made with my ex before I married the current Mrs H, Im sure she will appreicate that this will help me through this rough patch.

A 'danger *'? Guaranteed to have the japanese sniper within a few strokes.

I feel she is being unfair in my hour of need, she has always mentioned about a threesome, but when I keep asking she bottles it. I think she would appreciate it if I took the initiative and got her mate pished and brought her back to the house. What do you reckon?

Nah mate, she's just worried that you'll just find out that you are a carp shag she just has around to pay for things and she gets her real kicks bean flicking her bezzer all round the bedroom while you're out earning the money.

Originally Posted by hammy123

Originally Posted by 762baynet

Originally Posted by hammy123

Im considering going for the kinetic solution, a home movie made with my ex before I married the current Mrs H, Im sure she will appreicate that this will help me through this rough patch.

A 'danger *'? Guaranteed to have the japanese sniper within a few strokes.

I feel she is being unfair in my hour of need, she has always mentioned about a threesome, but when I keep asking she bottles it. I think she would appreciate it if I took the initiative and got her mate pished and brought her back to the house. What do you reckon?

Don't bother trying it with her mate, try it with her mother.