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Thread: How Crap Is Your Life?
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20-01-2009, 21:05 #1Senior Member
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How Crap Is Your Life?
I found this site today:
http://mylifeiscrap.com/
A couple of entries that made me laugh:
Today, after my grandfather passed away, we cleaned out his house and found a cabinet full of Nazi memorabiliaToday, or actually during the Christmas holidays I was over at my boyfriends house spending some quality time with his family. At one point his mom says that she is really proud her son (19) is still a virgin and waiting until marriage…I burst out laughing which resulted in her mom staring at me for the rest of the day as if she wished I just diedNo matter how crap life sems to be, at least there's some other poor souil who is worse off than yourself.Today, after 6 weeks being single, I’m still in love with my ex boyfriend who gave me herpes…"You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
Adrian Rogers, 1931-2005
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20-01-2009, 21:10 #2Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
Gives you a cozy feeling doesn't it?
'The honesty and bravery of our fighting forces stands in stark contrast to the weasel words and dishonesty of their political masters'. Liam Fox Now with 'added irony'!
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20-01-2009, 21:12 #3Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
fcuk, i feel a lot better now....
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20-01-2009, 21:13 #4
Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
How about this one.
Today, my son just revealed that he was homosexual; I now understand why he never complained as a child when we had to insert suppositories…MLIC
Or
Today, I found out that I was a mistake and my father Isn’t really “MY” father…
Or
Today, while making love to my wife, she fell asleep - I only noticed because she started snoring…Always try to be modest and be proud of it.
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20-01-2009, 21:17 #5Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
Ha!Today, and after a long batch of tests, I have just found out I am sterile…My wife is pregnant with our second child…I think we’ll finally have something to discuss at dinner time"You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
Adrian Rogers, 1931-2005
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20-01-2009, 21:21 #6Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
how bone idle do you have to be if you cant hear yourself??Today, I was at work talking to a friend on another desk about the guy I personally think is really attractive. We were talking through the phone, which is connected to the P.A system of the store. I went to call her desk, but accidently called the P.A…Yep, everyone, including the guy heard me say how much I want to “bang” him…MLIC
God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of the best shots
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20-01-2009, 21:21 #7
Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
Today, I get the most bizarre request from my father and step mom. My dad had a vasectomy a while back, but now his new wife wants a child - I’ve just turned 18 and guess who’s being asked for a sperm donation???…
Always try to be modest and be proud of it.
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20-01-2009, 21:22 #8
Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
Today, I tell my boyfriend that I’m happy he’s not a jealous person. He tells me that in truth he is, but that he feels safe as no one else is interested in me…
Always try to be modest and be proud of it.
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20-01-2009, 21:23 #9Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
Today, I run a charity shop full time in London. One morning, a mother and daughter walked in. The mother pointed at me and said to her daughter: “this will happen to you too if you don’t study harder”, and then just walked out…
:D :D :D :DGod is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of the best shots
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20-01-2009, 21:25 #10Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
There's better than that on here. Read Ivy_cumbucket's posts recently? She makes me feel positively sparkly about myself. We also have Mike Golden to laugh at, Scrofula so we understand what happens with excessive meths drinking, Dogface to remind us the colonies will always be inferior and Dashing_Chap so we can poke fun at public education and "shag-walts"
Posting drivel since May 2005
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20-01-2009, 21:30 #11Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
Today, after giving her rabbit a bath, my 8 year old daughter didn’t see any other way to dry it…yep she put it in the clothes dryer
i just nearly choked to deathGod is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of the best shots
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20-01-2009, 21:39 #12Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
OK. So I'm an odd mix of gullible and septical.
Originally Posted by crabby
So I'm thinking that name is fictitious?
But I'm still trying all sorts of permutations on "Search".
Please put my mind at rest, Crabby.
"Only after the last tree has been cut down, Only after the last river has been poisoned, Only after the last fish has been caught, Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten?"
The world couldn't function without money .....
COULD IT?:
http://vimeo.com/13029324 (English - 70 minutes)
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EewGMBOB4Gg (Septic - 2 hours)
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20-01-2009, 21:40 #13Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
A potential recruite, me thinks.Today, I had to go to school to pick up my son. The reason being, he told his teacher to F*** off; my wonderful son is 7 years old…MLIC
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20-01-2009, 21:48 #14Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
Ivy_Grad - the cum guzzling whore that wrecks marriages Originally Posted by bovvy
OK. So I'm an odd mix of gullible and septical. Originally Posted by crabby
So I'm thinking that name is fictitious?
But I'm still trying all sorts of permutations on "Search".
Please put my mind at rest, Crabby.
Posting drivel since May 2005
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20-01-2009, 21:57 #15Senior Member
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Re: How Crap Is Your Life?
Today, I came home from work and found out my mom had cleaned my room. I’m 25 and still live with my parents. I forgot I left my pocket Vagina and lube out. Come to find, she had dusted around it and set it nice and neat back where she had found it. Even though she hasn’t said anything, I can’t look my mom in the eye…
God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of the best shots
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