ARmy Rumour SErvice

this thread has really taken off.......................
.........................................NOT!

Crusader cooking system - great piece of kit. Would write a review but it's pretty dull and the kit is relatively well known, TT should definitely stock this.

Kit review: Barbour Northumbria jacket.

Originally bought in 1984, I think--it's as old as my daughter anyway. It arrived by airmail while I was posted to Cyprus, so was a bit warm for daily use there, although it
came in handy up at Troodos once or twice.

It's the heaviest weight thornproof cloth that Barbour use; on the outside there are 2 large bellows pockets, each closed by a pair of brass studs/poppers, and 2 hand warmer
pockets at chest level. The collar is corduroy lined, with studs underneath to attach an optional matching hood, in the same heavyweight material.

Inside, there's a velcro closure wallet pocket one side, and a zip up map/hipflask pocket on the other, each about chest level. Lower down, on each side there's a large poacher
pocket with a removable, washable nylon liner. The whole inside is lined in the usual Barbour tartan wool, although it's a different pattern to that in the lighter Barbours.

Front closure is by a 2 way brass zip that, with the collar up, will reach chin level, plus a storm flap with brass press studs. Inside there are also press studs to attach an
optional fleece liner/waistcoat.

So what's it like in use? First up, it's bloody heavy, so not much cop for forced marching in. However, when the weather turns shitty, there's nothing better.
Windproof, very. Waterproof? Among other trips, I once wore it on a sea fishing trip in the North Sea, 30 foot waves crashing over the charter boat, everyone else pissed wet
through, while inside this coat I was dry and warm.

It's seen active use in the depths of SLTA in winter, kept out the weather on game shoots in Germany and UK, had roe grallocked on it in the Lake District, and been used by
the dog as a bed. Rather like its owner it is now a bit rough around the edges and niffs a bit.

Those poachers pockets are handy for party goers, each has proved capable of holding 2 six packs of beer ( but the weight buggers your neck and shoulders), or scoff.

Returning from a trip abroad, Calais customs (Frog variant) asked me to empty my pockets: 8 bottles of wine, 3 loaves, assorted lumps of cheese and pate, 40 Gauloise....
"Is that a fucking magician's coat? Where's the rabbit?" asked (in French, of course) the officer. So I emptied the other pocket, he took umbrage and sent me on my way.

Worse piece of kit is a partner, they are ok for first 5 years and are hungry for sex. The next five years you become a cunt according to them. After ten years they develop some type of lunacy and are only satisfied by shopping. In the end it's better to write a review of the dog as it shows more interest. Hope that helps.

Originally Posted by jarrod248

Worse piece of kit is a partner, they are ok for first 5 years and are hungry for sex. The next five years you become a cunt according to them. After ten years they develop some type of lunacy and are only satisfied by shopping. In the end it's better to write a review of the dog as it shows more interest. Hope that helps.

OK: Review, Golden Retreiver.

Quite possibly the stupidest creature on the planet. Cost a fortune to buy, especially if it comes with Kennel Club paperwork and a triple barrelled ludicrous name.

"Golden" only if hosed down 5 times a day, but will immediately go and roll in the smelliest thing to hand.

As for retreive, useless. The one I had was great at finding chocolate in anyone's coat, but the only time it found a pheasant was when it tripped over one.

Will eat anything, including 3 square feet of partition wall if left alone for more than 20 seconds. Prone to obesity, bone idle, will run off and expect you to carry it back to the car, then eat the headrests off the back seat.

Good with small children as it sleeps all day, even if the children sit on it. Will continue to sleep while a rat walks over it to raid the kitchen, then look at you funny when you kick its arrse.

Prone too to leukaemia, huge vet bills to find out its got leukaemia, followed by even huger vet bill to cremate the twat.

Oscar, thanks for the excellent Barbour review. One thing caught my eye 1984? Any pics of your daughter?

BTW the dog review, Shovel, RE, would have squared the last bill away in both respects.

I bought a really good tiger! It ate my webbing and my Jetboil but the big bastard makes tab! You know the age old saying "if you can out tab a tiger ....................."

I've had these feet for 52 years now and they still don't let water in, marvelous!