Some internet wet bottom who knows fuck all about everything.

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There's no pubs in Widnes Crem. You're delusional.

I just got "mate"d. The horror. The very horror.

Is he dead yet? The cunt owed me a tenner.

Thinking of his mum.

I got pancakes........

No, they have ready made egg in a carton. You weren't there man.

This is the closest I can find to Pulled Pork in the UK. ...

I reckon he sits in his pants all day eating Pot Noodles and cheese Wotsits and crying into cheap lager.

You've got issues. Do you shout at cushions?

I think he's getting his own arrse shown to him.

You're still a cheeser.

You've got issues. As an aside: I so would.

Mate, I feel your pain.

I know it's CA and all that, but:

Dingerr's gonna knock you out. Sorry, Dingerr MBE.

Never heard of the man............

They're normally known as "Bugger me grips". I have no idea why, but I'd hang on to Bradley Wiggins until he stopped playing with his Lego. ...

That didn't work did it?

It might be because you are 12 years old and still like Lego.

Are you there yet? Are you there yet?

Err, no. I'm in North Yorkshire and he was knacked by some bird in that London.

Guru down, I repeat, Guru down. He's more worried about his bike than his broken bits.

BBC News - Retirement 'harmful to health', study says Retirement 'harmful to health', study say. Best he keep on playing

That is the funniest thing I've read, and I'm only up to page 4. I agree with the pigboard. She's well up there.

I'm trying to blag some tickets for Jason Manford "concerts". He says he gives freebies to Tickets for Troops, so I guilt tripped him with The...