2nd hand bloke on the market - worth a kick around the tyres

**3rdStafford** · 22-07-2009, 00:28

..........

**blackrat_scaleyback** · 22-07-2009, 03:59

Call Green Flag. Failing that, the knackers yard.

**putteesinmyhands** · 22-07-2009, 05:16

37 years old? - 1972 aka L Reg.

Reliable?

Here's an L Reg Reliant:

**taboo** · 22-07-2009, 06:41

Ok,Where do you want a kick?

**bovvy** · 22-07-2009, 06:52

Just found this email:

"IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull ... But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid
and bump into things, even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh....

Either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!"

**JonnoJonno** · 22-07-2009, 14:26

Originally Posted by Donkey-Spanker

Come on ladies, there must be some lunatics with no no-claims bonus who fancy seeing how fast they can go.

Better off just begging for a site troll to take pity on you. That way you could dispense with cliched descriptions of yourself.

**jarrod248** · 22-07-2009, 14:44

Originally Posted by Donkey-Spanker

Peviously popular with female drivers, spent too long in the garage, looking a bit aged. 37 years old, needs a good running in. Bodywork is okay, gained a little around the middle, lost some of the oomph it used to have. Paintwork is going grey on top, but still the original colour where it counts. Was abandoned by previous owner, but thankfully she didn't have time to torch it.

Reliable as a source of income, copes well with any weather, although can be temperamental when cold or damp early in the morning. Has been known to express opinions purely for comic effect, but a quick application of choke usually clears the problem. Would particularly suit a mature driver who knows her way around a gearstick, or maybe a learner who wants to be broken in quickly. With time could become suitable for off-road bedroom driving, may welcome other drivers on occasional basis.

Not equipped with but would enjoy leather/pvc upholstery, currently parked in the Midlands region.

Offers?

37yrs old do you have a son?

**old_fat_and_hairy** · 30-07-2009, 09:03

Originally Posted by Donkey-Spanker

Originally Posted by JonnoJonno

Better off just begging for a site troll to take pity on you. That way you could dispense with cliched descriptions of yourself.

Maybe not, the ad has produced a result

Oh bloody hell! I thought Jarrod had more taste!

**JonnoJonno** · 30-07-2009, 09:40

Originally Posted by Donkey-Spanker

Originally Posted by JonnoJonno

Better off just begging for a site troll to take pity on you. That way you could dispense with cliched descriptions of yourself.

Maybe not, the ad has produced a result

With a site troll? :D

**Lonza** · 20-08-2009, 07:37

Could be worth a few quid in the scrappage scheme!

**LukasBabe** · 03-11-2009, 01:56

Advertising yourself as a car to the female population probably isn't a good idea, most of us don't have any idea what your on about

lol

**samstown** · 03-11-2009, 21:34

So were there any takers to the ad then?

**Banker** · 11-11-2009, 18:41

Good job she got binned if she drives a Panamera............one very diffy "car".

**samstown** · 12-11-2009, 14:09

Originally Posted by Donkey-Spanker

Originally Posted by samstown

So were there any takers to the ad then?

Yes, got wined, dined, f*cked and f*cked about by a university lecturer. After that I joined Zoosk, got f*cked around some more and finally met a great bird who knows a good thing when it's fondling her arrse. :D

thats a shame, you do sound like rather a decent catch from reading your ad...

**corfutaz** · 12-11-2011, 20:19

She didn't get binned HE DID, one total fookkin basket case, he's supposed to be suffering from PTSD, from being in the Territorials, wouldn't take anything he puts on here for granted and as read. One total loser and definitely worth one hell of a kick in the bolloscs, not right in the head and only fit for the knackers yard, my advice is give it a wide birth, he's got no good attributes and doesn't want to have a job and wants to suck the life and money out of any female who gets near him, the only thing to come out of it, is he now know's not to cross me unless he likes his really ugly face staying where it is.