ARmy Rumour SErvice

**Listy** · 29-04-2012, 11:34

Originally Posted by brighton hippy

Brian wheelans just made imself a target for

bored squaddies wouldnt possibly target him would they?

You mean pin his Audi/BMW to the tarmac with 3 starstreak darts?

**Democritus** · 29-04-2012, 11:40

My dream scenario: A PIA jet arriving from Karachi, packed with recently-trained 'jihadists', frothing imams, benefits thieves and proxy multiple-voters, veers off course and gets a Rapier up its arse over Barking. The debris blitzes Newham, Waltham Forest, Broadwater Farm and the Finsbury Park mosque, while a stray engine ploughs into an LGBT meeting chaired by Peter Tatchell and Brian Paddick, with Red Ken, Fat Diane, Orange Peter and Gobby Shami as guest speakers. Other bits of shrapnel take out Polly Toynbee, Vince Cable, Harridan Hatemen, Jonathan Ross and several branches of Greggs/McDonald's full of illiterate, smelly, workshy oiks. Have I missed anything?

**jimmys_best_mate** · 29-04-2012, 11:47

The dream scenario is a Dreamliner inexplicably filled with aviation fuel and matches hitting Parliament on the day they all actually turn up (so probably during a vote about their wages).

**Victorian_Major** · 29-04-2012, 11:50

Originally Posted by Democritus

My dream scenario: A PIA jet arriving from Karachi, packed with recently-trained 'jihadists', frothing imams, benefits thieves and proxy multiple-voters, veers off course and gets a Rapier up its arse over Barking. The debris blitzes Newham, Waltham Forest, Broadwater Farm and the Finsbury Park mosque, while a stray engine ploughs into an LGBT meeting chaired by Peter Tatchell and Brian Paddick, with Red Ken, Fat Diane, Orange Peter and Gobby Shami as guest speakers. Other bits of shrapnel take out Polly Toynbee, Vince Cable, Harridan Hatemen, Jonathan Ross and several branches of Greggs/McDonald's full of illiterate, smelly, workshy oiks. Have I missed anything?

Boris and Seb Coe.

Oh, and Parliament and Lambeth Palace.

**Tinman74** · 29-04-2012, 11:56

Originally Posted by Democritus

My dream scenario: A PIA jet arriving from Karachi, packed with recently-trained 'jihadists', frothing imams, benefits thieves and proxy multiple-voters, veers off course and gets a Rapier up its arse over Barking. The debris blitzes Newham, Waltham Forest, Broadwater Farm and the Finsbury Park mosque, while a stray engine ploughs into an LGBT meeting chaired by Peter Tatchell and Brian Paddick, with Red Ken, Fat Diane, Orange Peter and Gobby Shami as guest speakers. Other bits of shrapnel take out Polly Toynbee, Vince Cable, Harridan Hatemen, Jonathan Ross and several branches of Greggs/McDonald's full of illiterate, smelly, workshy oiks. Have I missed anything?

Just the Emirates stadium!!!

**Democritus** · 29-04-2012, 12:02

Originally Posted by Tinman74

Just the Emirates stadium!!!

After the recent humiliation by Wigan Athletic, I thought I'd go easy on them!

**alib** · 29-04-2012, 12:09

Well that sounds like a highly effective waste of tax payers money.

**smartascarrots** · 29-04-2012, 12:14

Originally Posted by Pigshyt_Freeman

I should have thought that once an aircraft is over London, it makes little difference whether it is deliberately crashed into the Olympic stadium, or is shot down over the high-density housing of which the city consists. More 'security theatre' IMO.

My thoughts exactly. Mind you, the calculation probably goes along the lines of "better to have it splashed over the homes of poor people who don't actually vote for us than anyone we might be interested in approaching for jobs afterwards".