ARmy Rumour SErvice

Originally Posted by Mothman

My cat is certainly useful. He kills mice and keeps my home virtually vermin free.

He also performs another valuable service in shitting in my arsehole neighbours flower beds, thereby relieving me of that duty.

Does your home double up as a barn?

Or do you live in a skip?

Originally Posted by goatrutar

Sudden braking to avoid hitting a large animal results in the front of the car lowering due to weight transference. This results in a large frightened animal going through the windscreen and into the occupants.

How big is this fcuking cat?

Originally Posted by cuckingfunt

How big is this fcuking cat?

The bitch killed Tony the Tiger, that's just grrrrreat.

Was the cat wearing a hi vis vest? Was it appropriately trained in crossing the road?

If you can't get the basics right, what do you expect?

Originally Posted by dingerr

Was the cat wearing a hi vis vest? Was it appropriately trained in crossing the road?

If you can't get the basics right, what do you expect?

It now knows how to cross a road, 3 houses and a small garage, in a one-er.

She might sue you for PTSD and damage to her vehicle - maybe keep a low profile (as low as the cat's?).

Speeding can be dealt with by way of an opinion. In reality it usually has to be supported by other evidence however, crucially a person cannot be convicted on the evidence of one witness alone.

The relevant sub section is:
"A person prosecuted for such an offence shall not be liable to be convicted solely on the evidence of one witness to the effect that, in the opinion of the witness, the person prosecuted was driving the vehicle at a speed exceeding a specified limit."

RTRA 84, s.89 (2)

With the speeding you're on a hiding to nothing. Unlike in the US where cops are tested to be able to estimate speed from standing (and have to get it right under test conditions) Police over here don't.

Originally Posted by old_bloke

Fill her tyres with water

Because that's easy to do.