Useful

**DavidBOC** · 13-10-2009, 16:21

Originally Posted by bigbird67

Originally Posted by Recce19

OK thanks all, pretty much what we had concluded.

Bakerlite, some sound points. She has already told her mum (my sis), that if he fails to gain residency, she will bugger off over there. At first glance, this seems fair. However, she has kids from a previous relationship and said she's leave them here with her mum! I told her mum, to tell her to poke that idea, but I doubt that advice will go any further.

Without wanting to sound heartless...at least if she leaves them here, he can't use them as leverage on her! And is it HIM she's not sure of with her kids, or does she not want them growing up in Morrocco? She may already have doubts if she doesn't want her kids there with her!

I agree completely. In the incident I described above the inlaws at one point "found" Laura's passport but "could not find" the baby's passport and she would not leave the baby. My friend had to stop at the embassy in Rome for an emergency replacement passport which they got but it did delay things a couple of days. I also agree that if she is leaving kids in UK it is a good sign that she is thinking of possible problems.

**Gubmint_Agent** · 13-10-2009, 16:24

God, what a depressingly familiar story.
The best suggestion I have is that she tells her Moroccan fiance that she wants to live in Morocco with him and there's no way she'd ever want to bring him back to the UK with her. His reaction to that idea - either accepting it or insisting that he comes here with her - will surely give a good pointer as to whether she's being used or not; after all if it's a genuine relationship then he won't mind, will he?
The only problem with this is that she doesn't sound like she's prepared to entertain the idea that he's not really wanting to marry her for love, so unless you/someone can convince her that testing him out is a good idea then well, he's found himself the mug he was looking for.

Or, it could all be above board, they're truly in love, there's nothing sinister about it at all and you and everyone you have spoken to are just xenophobic bigots too quick to judge others... but I doubt it.

**Bollock-chops** · 13-10-2009, 16:27

Just say, I hope you are very happy together, when are you getting married, I hope Im invited etc etc.

If you stay friends with her, you can keep tabs on her, trying to keep the fiance out of the country just complicates things.

You never know, he may be a very nice man.

**bigbird67** · 13-10-2009, 16:29

It IS awful when your first thought is "it's a scam"...sad reflection really. All you can do is, as others have said, support her as best you can, try to talk her out of taking any loans or debts on for the first few years at least and hope he's either genuine or shows his true colours early on!

**Recce19** · 13-10-2009, 16:30

Originally Posted by DavidBOC

Originally Posted by bigbird67

Originally Posted by Recce19

OK thanks all, pretty much what we had concluded.

Bakerlite, some sound points. She has already told her mum (my sis), that if he fails to gain residency, she will bugger off over there. At first glance, this seems fair. However, she has kids from a previous relationship and said she's leave them here with her mum! I told her mum, to tell her to poke that idea, but I doubt that advice will go any further.

Without wanting to sound heartless...at least if she leaves them here, he can't use them as leverage on her! And is it HIM she's not sure of with her kids, or does she not want them growing up in Morrocco? She may already have doubts if she doesn't want her kids there with her!

I agree completely. In the incident I described above the inlaws at one point "found" Laura's passport but "could not find" the baby's passport and she would not leave the baby. My friend had to stop at the embassy in Rome for an emergency replacement passport which they got but it did delay things a couple of days. I also agree that if she is leaving kids in UK it is a good sign that she is thinking of possible problems.

Again, thanks for this. I've just pased this info on to my sis - her mother and hopefully she can sort it.

Now that you said about the kids, it makes sense and I feel I misread that on her part (hopefully). I'm at a loss as to what else, if anything, we can do. Too many questions and 'advice', she will just do it to damn us. Also being in a different country to her, doesn't help with comms.

**Recce19** · 13-10-2009, 16:35

Yes, I agree with you all and I hope I am proved wrong. It doesn't help when a friend of mine (African Muslim), says he also thinks it's a scam and that they have a word in his language, which means 'papers' for women like her!

I think only time will tell now and to be ready if it does fcuck up.

**scuba_frog** · 13-10-2009, 16:47

Punch her reapetedly in the head, all the time screaming '"YOU ARE NOT SHIRLEY VALENTINE YOU DIRTY HOOOUUURRRR!!" Liberally douse her face with prussic acid and, if aforementioned Morrocan is not in it for money or citizenship then he will love his hideously disfigured English Rose for her personality alone.

A call to plod and a couple of bags of fertilizer under his bed might also acheive desired result.

**Recce19** · 13-10-2009, 17:07

Originally Posted by scuba_frog

Punch her reapetedly in the head, all the time screaming '"YOU ARE NOT SHIRLEY VALENTINE YOU DIRTY HOOOUUURRRR!!" Liberally douse her face with prussic acid and, if aforementioned Morrocan is not in it for money or citizenship then he will love his hideously disfigured English Rose for her personality alone.

A call to plod and a couple of bags of fertilizer under his bed might also acheive desired result.

Cnut! Good job I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.

Another suggestion by Carlsberg Immigration Services