ARmy Rumour SErvice

**ximmeh1987** · 12-07-2011, 22:44

Mucker of mine a couple of years ago had him self a nice norn iron chick on the go and a pet cat in a z-type room jobby. It was the summer months and she stayed over the whole of the holidays.

Cue block inspection and it was planned that she would spend a good half hour in the locker keeping as quiet as possible! That morning the CSM was in the opposite corridor when the cat appeared outside the window meow'ing away wanting grub. My mate opens the window, grabs the cat and stuffs it in the locker with his missus and quickly stands by his bed.

CSM walks in and snoops about and comments on various posters etc..

"Nice room CPL H*****"

"Cheers sir"

As the CSM was walking through the door with his back turned to CPL H**** the cat in the closet let out a might MEOW!

The CSM turns and stares CPL H**** in the eyes,

"Did you just meow at me?"

CPL H**** clenching and keeping a poker face replied

"Yes sir.."

CSM thinking he was obviously a few pills short of a medicine cabinet slowly let go of his stare and walked out.

Was in stitches when i was told this :D

**whitmos** · 22-09-2011, 07:12

1974 ish. Bünde, 2 Div Sig Regt. Breaking up a party with several of the local enthusiastic amateurs one Saturday afternoon. Have to remove 4 of them, get a serious hard on as they are climbing into the back of the LandRover. Seriously wondering if we should continue the party off camp. At the guardroom German Civpol have arrived and recognise one of the bints as wanted, missing from juvenile centre. 14 yrs and 1 day old. Quick revision of plans!

**Sapper D.** · 03-10-2011, 20:02

1987, Herford, CLT.

2 gals we had met the year before at the Chiemsee (a Scoucer and 1 from Stevenage), who worked in a SPAM recreation centre (very, very nice, not like the shite we had to put up with!) , deciden to runaway back to England. Too many polizei looking, I suppose. Stayed in our rooms (we all had 1 one man rooms) for a week and a good time was had by all.

Until the last Monday morning (they were thinking of travelling westwards soon anyway) when we were Active Edged.

I managed to sneak them out, under the ever watchful eyes of the guards. Still severely pissed, and remained so until about 10 am!! They were safely escorted to their VW van at the Tiergarten and went on their way.

**Danny_Dravot** · 03-10-2011, 20:12

Originally Posted by Black-Bart

A Saturday Night in 1986. I was at JFHQ Nothwood when it was HMS Warrior. The Officer Of the Day was fed up of going to parties in different grots so had a bomb scare at 03.30. The roll call discovered 41 females and 37 males (in a male block).

Good effort (and didn't account for all the sp1ts that did a legger out of the windows) :D :D :D

quality old school lie!

**overopensights** · 03-10-2011, 20:23

Originally Posted by Danny_Dravot

That is quite a ridiculous lie.

Not so Danny. I was a colour sgt on the 1969 tour of Londonderry. We lived in a disused factory near a hospital on the waterside.
It was the time of the 'Disco tours' and women were rife about the place. I recall taking in the company sleeping bags at Catterick at the end of the tour.

The sleeping bags were turned inside out for laundring. I watched the storeman performing this task and on the floor in the middle of the stores was a pile of tights, knickers and bras half a metre high; no exageration whatever, that is completly true!

**doonhamer** · 03-10-2011, 22:27

1982 and me Legs and Dinger had just came back to Hereford from a tasty job in London! hung up our coveralls and handed the mp5,s into the armoury and straight down the boozer! 37 pints of guiness each later we were heading to the kebab shop and bumped into Bananarama! we got chatting and could tell they were well up for it so we sneaked them into camp on an improvised hand glider we fashioned out of radio antenna and ponchos! Now there was a heavyweight boxing match going on in our 3 man room that a then young Don King was promoting so we had to sneak them round to the boathouse! the minute we were past them blue doors that was it! the birds went mental and sucked us off,did really filthy fisting lezzo shows, took it up the hoop non stop etc!

yip about as beliveable as half the pish on this thread!