Useful

**GrumbleWeed** · 06-04-2005, 20:15

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, downs syndrome, quadriplegic baby get for christmas?

Cancer

**Pebble_Monkey** · 06-04-2005, 20:22

That is very very very sick

**GrumbleWeed** · 06-04-2005, 20:33

A vampire walks into a bar, 'pint of blood landlord' he says. The barman gives him his order.
A second vampire walks into the bar, 'pint of your finest blood please' he says. Again, the barman pours his order.
A third vampire walks into the bar and says 'a mug of hot water please barman'. The barman looks puzzled at the vampire, and asks- 'why the f*** do you want hot water for?' The vampire answered- 'i found a used tampon and i'm making tea'.

**BaggyInBlack** · 06-04-2005, 20:35

The Catholic Church has finally agreed on the new format for voting in the new head of their church. Next Sat night, Simon Cowell will hosp Pope Idol

**BaggyInBlack** · 06-04-2005, 20:37

Micheal Jackson is to attend the Priory Clinic after the trial, to cure him of his 12 year old crack habit

**Sabre** · 06-04-2005, 20:37

Me:- Boss i am not coming into work to day coz i am sick.

Boss:- How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

**BaggyInBlack** · 06-04-2005, 20:38

What's Celtic and the Pope got in common. They were both fecked by Hearts attacks at the weekend

**primroseandblue** · 06-04-2005, 20:39

What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic

Boom Boom

**GrumbleWeed** · 06-04-2005, 20:39

Pikey family sitting down to dinner, and in walks the son with next door's daughter- red faced and sweaty. The father jumps up and shouts- 'if she's not good enough for her own family- she's not bloody well good enough for ours!'