Thanks Tom.
Any spare medals I can wear?
Swimming or good behaviour ones are fine. I just want to impress the totty.
I'm going out with my "bezzers" Shortt and Spour next week, don't want them taking all the fanny, know what I mean? :P
Before I go, all you fcukers who look down on us civvies - remember who pays your wages
Now for some pies
Some good career moves within and without the Army and I eventually found myself working as a staff software engineer for a multinational IT megacorporation. One of the biggest pluses is that my managers have always been a street ahead of your average manager. We were recently invited by Level 2 to give feedback on our Level 1 managers. I made the point of hoping I retire before my manager because I couldn't face getting your average manager "in charge" and having to break him in. I also told my manager what I had told his manager. I, my team leader and my manager all hope and pray we retire before the other two, cos it would be a load of arrse to lose him. A bit like a good CVR(T) crew.Originally Posted by duryard
Emsdorf and Victory!
(The avatar works better if you can read the bottom line. See gallery:
http://www.arrse.co.uk/members/alien...me-closer.html )
Pleased to report that whereas I work for America's second biggest corporation behind Coca Cola (having regained our rightful place above M!crosoft late last year) I can report that our department has none of this bullsh!t.
No time sheets, nobody to check you are working to the set hours, nobody to check you are even working. How do you think I spend so much time in here?
We know when products are due to ship: so long as they ship on that day, the department is doing well.
That said, this department is unique: otherwise I concur entirely with your every word. I have also been there.
Emsdorf and Victory!
(The avatar works better if you can read the bottom line. See gallery:
http://www.arrse.co.uk/members/alien...me-closer.html )
A colleague of mine, former disciplined services, now a civi was promoted and sent to corporate HQ in the US. He despaired at the political correctness and petty mindlessness he found there after years in the Far East where PC is still considered a desk-top and nothing else. They had internal groups for every creed, sexual orientation and disability including BAM (Black's at M*****), he suggested a WAM should be formed, this unfortuantelywent down like a lead balloon. He attended one high-profile meeting where a female executive refused to take any further part because there were too many alpha males in the room!!!!!!!!
It's funny how everybody seems to think that all civvie organisations are utter shite... EXCEPT for the ones they work for!
The Civvie organisations aren't SHITE!!! But many of the Civvies in them are :P
Stick two floury baps between his legs and shout dinner time Fido!!
True that Bro! I'm retired British Army though I've just retired from that US scene you describe too and breathing a big sigh of relief that I don't need to be PC anymore. It's debilitating, enervating, initiative stifling, emasculating, maddening and ridiculous.
Not to have to smile benignly (albeit through gritted teeth) as I look in at the Diversity Committee (who spin out an inane and sparse agenda over an entire afternoon once a week) or attend Cultural Awareness seminars, or send female employees to learn how to deflect discipline by accusing their bosses of sexual harrassment to National Organization of Women conferences (with pay), or have to promote, not on merit but by 'quota' sorry.... by 'goal candidate' (institutionalised racism) - all to the detriment of productivity, morale and efficiency - .... is.... bloody WONDERFUL!!!
Now what shall I do today??
I hate their lack of b@lls when it comes to staff discipline.
We have one young guy who can't ever make it in on time and sits doing f@ck all all day long and still thinks he deserves more money.
The fat useless c@nt deserves to be taken to the store room and get a good f@cking kicking but we are told just to leave it to the management who will get it sorted eventually.
Fat c@nt was changed shifts to try and ensure he was in on time, but never told that it was to be watched, he came out the meeting thinking he had a promotion as the guy he had to swap with was a tech lead. Even phoned his bitch and told her he'd just been promoted and will ask for extra money.
Bring back national service show those lazy civi f@ckers what team work and graft is all about.
fat f@cker was late again this morning not a f@cking word said again.
Grips my sh1t it does.
I'm 43 now done 22yrs and would join again tomorrow.
Sounds just like Abbey Wood, except the buggers spend most of their days swanning between the various eateries on site. Loads of brain-storming takes place as well - apparently food feeds the brain and creates those innovative support solutions, most of which don't deliver the required effect to ops.
On the subject of food I was down in AW earlier this week. Most of the military there are an absolute disgrace - many are significantly overweight bespectacled, and about as toned as Susan Boyle's arse cheeks.
'Sua Tela Tonanti' - now that's what I call a mission
Runner-Up ARRSE Premier League 2008 - 2009, 2009 - 2010, Winner 2010 - 2011 (provisional).
What is this, the 1970s??????Fishpond, watertight, etc 1:1½:3My daddy didn't but your dad was ace at it. He knows how to fiddle my pee-pee alright
check you out you old sweat....I have a MSc but dont like to brag.....did your daddy touch you in places you pooh from?- Mr McIlwraith, is it not?
So anyway bawbag, you have a Masters degree yet no idea how to mix cement? Hmm.
Ordinary concrete 1:2:4
Foundations 1:3:6
Rough mass concrete 1:4:8
Never worked on a building site in my life except my own house
Obviously they did not let you near the complicated stuff either......
Watertight =C28/35A mcc325 wcr 0.55
'Ordinary' concrete? WTF is that? If you're doing internal work like an oversight =RC25 mcc240 wcr0.7 I'd say
Footing= GEN1 mcc180 single story or Gen3 mcc220 multi-story
Rough mass for void filling? ST1 semidry is your boy!
I'll not have any man using obsolete concrete designations on my watch!
why did no cunt tell me the fucking swear filter had been removed? Wankers!!!
I'm a classic concreterWhat is this, the 1970s??????Fishpond, watertight, etc 1:1½:3My daddy didn't but your dad was ace at it. He knows how to fiddle my pee-pee alright
check you out you old sweat....I have a MSc but dont like to brag.....did your daddy touch you in places you pooh from?
So anyway bawbag, you have a Masters degree yet no idea how to mix cement? Hmm.
Ordinary concrete 1:2:4
Foundations 1:3:6
Rough mass concrete 1:4:8
Never worked on a building site in my life except my own house
Obviously they did not let you near the complicated stuff either......
Watertight =C28/35A mcc325 wcr 0.55
'Ordinary' concrete? WTF is that? If you're doing internal work like an oversight =RC25 mcc240 wcr0.7 I'd say
Footing= GEN1 mcc180 single story or Gen3 mcc220 multi-story
Rough mass for void filling? ST1 semidry is your boy!
I'll not have any man using obsolete concrete designations on my watch!
1 pond/water feature - fish have not complained
2 sets of steps - no problems, they work
1 small foundation - seems to be supporting a dozen courses of blockwork so far.
1 Bike washing area in front of the garage - its flat enough and the fall works fine.
Think yourself lucky - I have to visit a froggy builders merchants and ask for all this stuff in French :D
In reality, all the nominal mixes you named there are fine for the applications you've used them for, and if its your own gaff then all good! Just don't anyone do any paid work using them mixes, the building inspectors don't like 'em anymore. The concrete company I work for is a very big French corporation...
why did no cunt tell me the fucking swear filter had been removed? Wankers!!!
Back on track...............
It's fucking dull.
Be honest though - wasn't the vast majority of your time in the Army just a little bit dull too? I know about the exciting stuff - believe me - but the Army knows dull too!
And weren't you surrounded by blokes who spent most of their time coming up with imaginative and complicated schemes to avoid doing any work if at all possible?
And what about the theiving scrotes that would have nicked any of your kit that you weren't actually using/wearing/cleaning at the time?
The doors weren't just for opening and closingAnd what about the theiving scrotes that would have nicked any of your kit that you weren't actually using/wearing/cleaning at the time?
Stick two floury baps between his legs and shout dinner time Fido!!
Ouch! saw that done 3 days after i arrived in BN. It scared the shit out of me. I already thought I'd arrived in an asylum for violent nutters, seeing someones hand smashed in a fire door did wonders for my morale...The doors weren't just for opening and closingAnd what about the theiving scrotes that would have nicked any of your kit that you weren't actually using/wearing/cleaning at the time?
The big advantage of civi street (crap though it is) is that if you dislike a job and the tossers doing it you can walk away and get another one - you're not stuck in one place under the threat of jail.
Was thievery good for moraleOuch! saw that done 3 days after i arrived in BN. It scared the s*** out of me. I already thought I'd arrived in an asylum for violent nutters, seeing someones hand smashed in a fire door did wonders for my morale...The doors weren't just for opening and closingAnd what about the theiving scrotes that would have nicked any of your kit that you weren't actually using/wearing/cleaning at the time?
The big advantage of civi street (crap though it is) is that if you dislike a job and the tossers doing it you can walk away and get another one - you're not stuck in one place under the threat of jail.
Stick two floury baps between his legs and shout dinner time Fido!!
Lazy f@t tw@ts grip my sh*t and no mistake. Just like loud, stupid, infantile, selfish, bone idle fools with no team spirit and no backbone who think that completing Call of Duty and getting shoiters at the weekend is "hard". W'nkers. Best managers I had so far were ex-mob, til they start spouting manager speak and buzzwords, producing silly charts and targets no one else can fathom
By the way, who's the gobby civvy f@t cnut, "paying our wages" :D
Britain's missiles include the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
http://england.shelter.org.uk/
http://www.combatstress.org.uk/
Let it all out T!
Me, you cheeky cnut!! That's who. Do you think army pay just comes from a magic pot?Lazy f@t tw@ts grip my sh*t and no mistake. Just like loud, stupid, infantile, selfish, bone idle fools with no team spirit and no backbone who think that completing Call of Duty and getting shoiters at the weekend is "hard". W'nkers. Best managers I had so far were ex-mob, til they start spouting manager speak and buzzwords, producing silly charts and targets no one else can fathom
By the way, who's the gobby civvy f@t cnut, "paying our wages" :D
Your lot started it, I felt it only fair to put the civvy point of view across.
So, you're saying its only civvies who are "loud, stupid, infantile, selfish, bone idle" - funny that, if I was feeling mean-spirited I could point you to a few comments on this exact thread by some of your chums that fit most of that criteria.
And like I said I've worked, and still do work, with squaddies who were thick as slabs. But I wouldn't dare say all squaddies are like that. Edit: in fact, one of my best mates at my current job is ex-army. Shit tattoos and awful patter but a reliable, stand-up bloke. And fat like me!
Now stand up straight when you're speaking to a Fifer, you horrible wee specimen :D
BTW just for what its worth I tend to find its public sector jobs and American companies where buzz-words are used most. I've worked for both NHS and Yank companies, had the motivational seminars, PC awareness and all that crap.
PS: Have you completed Call of Duty yet
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