Thread: Celebrating 100 years of the Territorial Force/Army

As ARRSE is, by definition, a rumour service, here's an actual, real, live rumour from a meejah friend:

"I was going to drop you a line today because yesterday when I was in a coffee shop between meetings I found myself eavesdropping on two people who were discussing how to pitch to be the PR company for the TA's big anniversary celebrations and wondering whether you would be involved in organising things."

Although I don't want to blow anyone's cover, wouldn't it be a good idea to start generating some excitement about this now, given that we have less than a year to go (01 Apr 0?

And given that my TA job involves recruitment (well, in a sense, it's part of all our jobs), wouldn't it be a good idea if the powers that be told me (and the rest of us) that there are plans afoot?

Should I have to rely on the keen ears of my spies in the coffee houses of the metropolis? I know it's more fun that way, but still ...

I thought it was doctrine that we're not "officially" told about these things until the last minute? At which point Operation Headless Chicken is put into action.

Anniversary on April Fool's Day?

I know my unit's a joke, but...

There are some plans being put in place but there's no money and they're months behind in the planning. Well, there's a surprise!

IMHO with the lack of money I am afraid that if it is a swap between MTDs for unit training and TA100 then it is the former.
If more money comes from the TLB then more than happy to parade or whatever.
ET

Hasn't anyone noticed? The TA disappeared a few weeks ago - just in the nick of time it would appear.

If I hadn't read it on ARRSE, I wouldn't have even known that the TA had disappeared!

The old Green and Yellow budgie sign is still prevalent everywhere.

Interior. Day. A high-ceilinged Georgian room. Bright light streams through the large windows, but no dust motes cloud the air. Leather chairs. Book-room red wallpaper. A man in service dress, deep in thought, steps back away from the window, to face an averagely good-looking public sector meejah girl.

Man: You know, it really has me stumped, all this.

Young woman: What, sir?

Man: This. This TA malarkey. Anniversary, and all that.

Young woman: Oh, poor you. I know you have all sorts of things troubling you.

Man: I do. I really do, you know? And these TA chaps want to throw a party! Don't they know there's a war on?

Young woman: Two, I thought. And I think they do know.

Man: Anyway, we're busy. Besides, Chairman Brown won't give us any more cash.

Young woman: Did you ask for any?

Man: Yep. He said: "We paid them already. What more do they want? A great big thank-you from the nation? Parades? Bands? Ticker-tape?" I said: "Funny that. I think that is what they reckon they deserve." Do you know what he said? He said: "We already have to do a big show like that for Tony - I'm not paying for another." Jesus.

Young woman [stands]: I hate it when he talks to you like that.

Man: Don't worry, sweetie. He's not going to be in a position to bother me for long. Anyway, back to the problem. How on earth do we, with no money, throw a big party for tens of thousands of volunteers?

Young woman: Ask the tens of thousands of volunteers to volunteer to help out?

Man [agitated]: Aha! But that's exactly what they want us to do!

Young woman [confused]: I'm not sure I understand.

Man: Don't you see? As soon as we involve them, we admit we can't do it without them! We can't have that!

Young woman: But ... aren't we ...

Man [terse]: What? Involving them on ops. Relying on them?

Young woman [brightly]: Yeah - that's what I'm getting at. Can't we use that plus the anniversary to really sell the TA?

Man [livid]: And admit to everyone that we can't even organise a party, still less a war, without them? Are you deranged?

Young woman [cross, hurt]: So, what do you suggest?

Man: Let's draft a paper about the plans. Keep it under wraps until about February. Include lots of work for the TA to do. Release it to their chain of command as our little Valentine's Day love note to them. They'll scramble to try to sort something out but they won't manage it in time.

Young woman [nodding]: But ...

Man: And let's arrange a major offensive on HERRICK or TELIC to coincide with the start of April. Get the press coverage to focus on that, using some juicy embed opportunities. There will be TA people involved in that but we can make sure that the usual policy of not mentioning TA numbers out there is followed in press releases. That way, any press coverage of the TA having their toy-town parades on the high street will be against the background of images of our boys fighting overseas.

Young woman [adoringly]: You are the master.

Man: Sweetie ...

Originally Posted by Dr_Evil

Interior. Day. A high-ceilinged Georgian room. Bright light streams through the large windows, but no dust motes cloud the air. Leather chairs. Book-room red wallpaper. A man in service dress, deep in thought, steps back away from the window, to face an averagely good-looking public sector meejah girl.

Man: You know, it really has me stumped, all this.

Young woman: What, sir?

Man: This. This TA malarkey. Anniversary, and all that.

Young woman: Oh, poor you. I know you have all sorts of things troubling you.

Man: I do. I really do, you know? And these TA chaps want to throw a party! Don't they know there's a war on?

Young woman: Two, I thought. And I think they do know.

Man: Anyway, we're busy. Besides, Chairman Brown won't give us any more cash.

Young woman: Did you ask for any?

Man: Yep. He said: "We paid them already. What more do they want? A great big thank-you from the nation? Parades? Bands? Ticker-tape?" I said: "Funny that. I think that is what they reckon they deserve." Do you know what he said? He said: "We already have to do a big show like that for Tony - I'm not paying for another." Jesus.

Young woman [stands]: I hate it when he talks to you like that.

Man: Don't worry, sweetie. He's not going to be in a position to bother me for long. Anyway, back to the problem. How on earth do we, with no money, throw a big party for tens of thousands of volunteers?

Young woman: Ask the tens of thousands of volunteers to volunteer to help out?

Man [agitated]: Aha! But that's exactly what they want us to do!

Young woman [confused]: I'm not sure I understand.

Man: Don't you see? As soon as we involve them, we admit we can't do it without them! We can't have that!

Young woman: But ... aren't we ...

Man [terse]: What? Involving them on ops. Relying on them?

Young woman [brightly]: Yeah - that's what I'm getting at. Can't we use that plus the anniversary to really sell the TA?

Man [livid]: And admit to everyone that we can't even organise a party, still less a war, without them? Are you deranged?

Young woman [cross, hurt]: So, what do you suggest?

Man: Let's draft a paper about the plans. Keep it under wraps until about February. Include lots of work for the TA to do. Release it to their chain of command as our little Valentine's Day love note to them. They'll scramble to try to sort something out but they won't manage it in time.

Young woman [nodding]: But ...

Man: And let's arrange a major offensive on HERRICK or TELIC to coincide with the start of April. Get the press coverage to focus on that, using some juicy embed opportunities. There will be TA people involved in that but we can make sure that the usual policy of not mentioning TA numbers out there is followed in press releases. That way, any press coverage of the TA having their toy-town parades on the high street will be against the background of images of our boys fighting overseas.

Young woman [adoringly]: You are the master.

Man: Sweetie ...

Do you know, I'm very reliably informed (which means I'm 'Chatham House'-safe) that a regional Bde Comd, recently queried why the lack of budget for TA100 was an issue and was then surprised when the assembled mess started mentioning things like: his formation MTD limits, coaches to take families to whatever it turns out to be; some form of refreshments; a beer for the old comrades...

The conversation rather quickly turned to other things.

Apparently.

So I'm lead to believe.

Last month.

We have no money.

So it's an early finish on a Tuesday night , and then up to the bar for a Curry supper and a few cans.

Possibly a rendition of "Happy Birthday TA" by our youngest subbie, who is about 12.

Originally Posted by PartTimePongo

We have no money.

So it's an early finish on a Tuesday night , and then up to the bar for a Curry supper and a few cans.

Possibly a rendition of "Happy Birthday TA" by our youngest subbie, who is about 12.

How do you do that, then? Our youngest subbie is on his third extension of service...

don't forget that it's the anniversary of the RFCA's as well (TAVRA for you older subbies).

Oh, and by the way, there isn't any money (did you know that already?) so it's all being done on the back of normal training pretending to be TA100 so that it get's some PR value (sorry 'Army in Society').

Oh, and there is a TA100WG (working Group) which is very high powered and has made loads of decisions (mainly about it's own terms of reference) so rest assured, the CofC is on the case (of whisky).

No worries there then.

Ideas so far include naming a train.

Originally Posted by MrTracey

Ideas so far include naming a train.

A steam train I hope! Wouldn't want to upset the Crusty Colonels with any new fangled things.

I don't care what they do to celibrate, as long as the coachs are there at 12 on the dot on Sunday.

can't afford coaches.

Perhaps they could name a coach instead?