Thread: Parent - Advice and Chat in here - ARCHIVE

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Reading one or two of your posts, it appears that a few of our JS's are getting "itchy feet" and are looking forward to getting back to Harrogate, mine is certainly one of them! and that's not a bad thing.
I think the reason for that is twofold and I fully expected this would happen............

Firstly, most (if not all) of our JS's are social animals and all their mates at home are either at school, as half-term isn't till next week when our JS's are back at AFC, or they're out at work....... so our JS's are mooching about like lost souls, especially where the parent(s) is out at work during the day.

Secondly, the Army are doing too good a job. They have taken our place as "family" to our JS's and it appears they're doing a brilliant job of it too. It's only natural that our sons/daughters should feel this way, even after such a short time, and we need to be thankful that they do for if that weren't the case then we'd be constantly feeling that our JS's could pack up at any minute.
I doubt there will be the same high level of emotion when they return on Sunday (but I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong!) and I also think that as the course progresses and we all feel more relaxed and become more accepting of the new (and better) life our son/daughter has made for him/herself, we too will reap the benefits.

Does anyone feel differently?

I'm not dreading Sunday, I'm excited for him because although we will miss him, and he us, he is so looking forward to what comes next. He spent the weekend at home, the only even vaguely awkward time was last night talking about his girlfriend but he said if she says stay or its over, he said that will be that, he's not giving up on the army. So, I guess that sorted that one out. He and a few lads are planning trips away during holidays etc and I feel like when we are out in shops I need a big stick to keep the girls off, especially those too old!! I dont know whats changed but he just walks tall, stands straight and talks with confidence and it shows. One lad yesterday who didn't know him called him 'army boy' lol.....maybe all that training so far shows.

I cant see the future, I dont know what the next few months will bring but at this time he sees nothing in his life but the Army.

Proud, OMG am I ever!! I watched a 16yr old boy drive away with his Dad 6 and a half weeks ago but I'm watching a young man walking around my house every morning now who is far removed from the lad who left.

Originally Posted by Min11

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Reading one or two of your posts, it appears that a few of our JS's are getting "itchy feet" and are looking forward to getting back to Harrogate, mine is certainly one of them! and that's not a bad thing.
I think the reason for that is twofold and I fully expected this would happen............

Firstly, most (if not all) of our JS's are social animals and all their mates at home are either at school, as half-term isn't till next week when our JS's are back at AFC, or they're out at work....... so our JS's are mooching about like lost souls, especially where the parent(s) is out at work during the day.

Secondly, the Army are doing too good a job. They have taken our place as "family" to our JS's and it appears they're doing a brilliant job of it too. It's only natural that our sons/daughters should feel this way, even after such a short time, and we need to be thankful that they do for if that weren't the case then we'd be constantly feeling that our JS's could pack up at any minute.
I doubt there will be the same high level of emotion when they return on Sunday (but I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong!) and I also think that as the course progresses and we all feel more relaxed and become more accepting of the new (and better) life our son/daughter has made for him/herself, we too will reap the benefits.

Does anyone feel differently?

I'm not dreading Sunday, I'm excited for him because although we will miss him, and he us, he is so looking forward to what comes next. He spent the weekend at home, the only even vaguely awkward time was last night talking about his girlfriend but he said if she says stay or its over, he said that will be that, he's not giving up on the army. So, I guess that sorted that one out. He and a few lads are planning trips away during holidays etc and I feel like when we are out in shops I need a big stick to keep the girls off, especially those too old!! I dont know whats changed but he just walks tall, stands straight and talks with confidence and it shows. One lad yesterday who didn't know him called him 'army boy' lol.....maybe all that training so far shows.

I cant see the future, I dont know what the next few months will bring but at this time he sees nothing in his life but the Army.

Proud, OMG am I ever!! I watched a 16yr old boy drive away with his Dad 6 and a half weeks ago but I'm watching a young man walking around my house every morning now who is far removed from the lad who left.

Min I totally agree, my Js is a changed lad, I have never since such a change in as I have over the last 6 weeks, even though we are not looking forward to Sunday, this is what he chooses to do amd we are so very proud of my lad and evryones else who chooses this path in life, by the way Min I believe our boys have been texting quite a lot over the last few days, I look forward to hearing about his next adventure with his new and loyal mates

Originally Posted by aztecdad

Hi all, been busy with my JS as I only have him till 2morrow when he goes off go his mum. Did anyone feel let down from cambrai for not letting us have photos with their JS's and that we weren't allowed to c their rooms. After a brilliant parade where my chest nearly burst open with pride, I felt the day just fizzled out to a disappointing end. It's was still a grrat experience though and 1 i would never have missed.

Yes we were disappointed not to have a photo with our son in uniform (Cambrai) - I do think it was due to time restraints - we didn't see his bed space etc either but he says it's just like the ones we saw when we went to the open day
We will get photos on passing out day in number ywo's but I wonder if we will get a chance in greens again?
TRIG - do you know the answer to that? Please

Originally Posted by Min11

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Reading one or two of your posts, it appears that a few of our JS's are getting "itchy feet" and are looking forward to getting back to Harrogate, mine is certainly one of them! and that's not a bad thing.
I think the reason for that is twofold and I fully expected this would happen............

Firstly, most (if not all) of our JS's are social animals and all their mates at home are either at school, as half-term isn't till next week when our JS's are back at AFC, or they're out at work....... so our JS's are mooching about like lost souls, especially where the parent(s) is out at work during the day.

Secondly, the Army are doing too good a job. They have taken our place as "family" to our JS's and it appears they're doing a brilliant job of it too. It's only natural that our sons/daughters should feel this way, even after such a short time, and we need to be thankful that they do for if that weren't the case then we'd be constantly feeling that our JS's could pack up at any minute.
I doubt there will be the same high level of emotion when they return on Sunday (but I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong!) and I also think that as the course progresses and we all feel more relaxed and become more accepting of the new (and better) life our son/daughter has made for him/herself, we too will reap the benefits.

Does anyone feel differently?

I'm not dreading Sunday, I'm excited for him because although we will miss him, and he us, he is so looking forward to what comes next. He spent the weekend at home, the only even vaguely awkward time was last night talking about his girlfriend but he said if she says stay or its over, he said that will be that, he's not giving up on the army. So, I guess that sorted that one out. He and a few lads are planning trips away during holidays etc and I feel like when we are out in shops I need a big stick to keep the girls off, especially those too old!! I dont know whats changed but he just walks tall, stands straight and talks with confidence and it shows. One lad yesterday who didn't know him called him 'army boy' lol.....maybe all that training so far shows.

I cant see the future, I dont know what the next few months will bring but at this time he sees nothing in his life but the Army.

Proud, OMG am I ever!! I watched a 16yr old boy drive away with his Dad 6 and a half weeks ago but I'm watching a young man walking around my house every morning now who is far removed from the lad who left.

I noticed the walking tall and proud straight away with my son. He says he feels different and he now realises how bored he was 7 weeks ago before he went to Harrogate. He is currently lying on the couch, full of a cold bless him saying he needs to get better before he goes "home"!

Originally Posted by greatteacher

Originally Posted by aztecdad

Hi all, been busy with my JS as I only have him till 2morrow when he goes off go his mum. Did anyone feel let down from cambrai for not letting us have photos with their JS's and that we weren't allowed to c their rooms. After a brilliant parade where my chest nearly burst open with pride, I felt the day just fizzled out to a disappointing end. It's was still a grrat experience though and 1 i would never have missed.

Yes we were disappointed not to have a photo with our son in uniform (Cambrai) - I do think it was due to time restraints - we didn't see his bed space etc either but he says it's just like the ones we saw when we went to the open day
We will get photos on passing out day in number ywo's but I wonder if we will get a chance in greens again?
TRIG - do you know the answer to that? Please

hi greatteacher at some point u will be invited 2 a parents day and you will have plenty of time then 4 photos in their greens

Originally Posted by greatteacher

Originally Posted by aztecdad

Hi all, been busy with my JS as I only have him till 2morrow when he goes off go his mum. Did anyone feel let down from cambrai for not letting us have photos with their JS's and that we weren't allowed to c their rooms. After a brilliant parade where my chest nearly burst open with pride, I felt the day just fizzled out to a disappointing end. It's was still a grrat experience though and 1 i would never have missed.

Yes we were disappointed not to have a photo with our son in uniform (Cambrai) - I do think it was due to time restraints - we didn't see his bed space etc either but he says it's just like the ones we saw when we went to the open day
We will get photos on passing out day in number ywo's but I wonder if we will get a chance in greens again?
TRIG - do you know the answer to that? Please

Our son is in Cambrai we got to see his room and locker, but didnt get the opportunity to get a few more pictures, whilst I like a good pic by 4.30 I was ready for the off, the hang over from the night before was still playing havoc. An excellent couple of days all round

Originally Posted by looby143

Originally Posted by aztecdad

Hi all, been busy with my JS as I only have him till 2morrow when he goes off go his mum. Did anyone feel let down from cambrai for not letting us have photos with their JS's and that we weren't allowed to c their rooms. After a brilliant parade where my chest nearly burst open with pride, I felt the day just fizzled out to a disappointing end. It's was still a grrat experience though and 1 i would never have missed.

Hi Aztec dad, I'm a cambrai mum & I also was dissapointed not to get some photo's with my JS in uniform as other companies had done, however we did get to go to his room & see his area & meet the crpl. Next time I'm sure we will make sure we get photo's

I to am a Cambrai mum and was also disappointted. Visiting and seeing were JS slept and kept all his kit would have so helped y 8 year old who misses his brother badly.

I would never have missed the parade butagree that I felt somewhat deflated as we left.

Min 11 said............."Proud, OMG am I ever!! I watched a 16yr old boy drive away with his Dad 6 and a half weeks ago but I'm watching a young man walking around my house every morning now who is far removed from the lad who left. "

Ah! yes min but when he walks round your house every morning, is he pushing a Dyson? :D :D

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Min 11 said............."Proud, OMG am I ever!! I watched a 16yr old boy drive away with his Dad 6 and a half weeks ago but I'm watching a young man walking around my house every morning now who is far removed from the lad who left. "

Ah! yes min but when he walks round your house every morning, is he pushing a Dyson? :D :D

No, but then he is a visitor now which feels odd but is how it is, he sees himself as having left home so I respect his decision. I'm sure he would vacuum if I asked but as it is he has made sure the boys have tidied their rooms and hoovered them to beyond recognition I feel he's done enough :D

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Min 11 said "lmao never thought I'd ever say it but no ta............. "

Go on Min, I'll throw in a fiver!!

Min, don't accept that, I'll pay a tenner!

Originally Posted by wolvesmum

Hi LooseScrew

I certainly felt like I'd been replaced and I must say I was a little upset but proud at the same time.

Since going to the passing in parade on Friday, when I felt such pride, I've had such mixed emotions...glad to have him home, sad that I have to work, proud that he has grown up so much in 6 weeks, anxiety of taking him back on Sunday! I don't know whether I'm coming or going! Does anyone else feel like this?

He said he's not really looking forward to going back to AFC, he won't quit, he's determined to finish the course but wishes he could live at home and still do the job he wants to do. I've been reading the posts of others saying their JS's can't wait to go back and hope that mine isn't the only one who wants to be at home and do the job at the same time? I've reinforced to him how much he wants this, how things will change when he goes back...that he'll have more free time. I think one of the reasons he wants to stay is because he has a girlfriend...I just hope he doesn't end up throwing his career away for her!!!

I thought this week was going to be great and yet I'm really struggling to cope with it all! Am I the only one?

Hi Wolvesmum,

You are not the only one, otherwise what are the rest of us doing on Arrse when our JS's are at home. I thought I wouldn't be on here for a week and I have spent tonight catching up. My JS has been with his friends every night, I work during the day and can only get Friday off, so I feel it's a bit of an anti climax too as I thought I'd get to spend loads of time with him. I keep wanting to asking him loads of questions and he only just seems to be relaxing. He has also got a girlfriend who he has been chasing for months before finally getting together (this week) I too hope he doesn't want to be here more than Harrogate for all the wrong reasons. X

Originally Posted by seashellie

Originally Posted by wolvesmum

Hi LooseScrew

I certainly felt like I'd been replaced and I must say I was a little upset but proud at the same time.

Since going to the passing in parade on Friday, when I felt such pride, I've had such mixed emotions...glad to have him home, sad that I have to work, proud that he has grown up so much in 6 weeks, anxiety of taking him back on Sunday! I don't know whether I'm coming or going! Does anyone else feel like this?

He said he's not really looking forward to going back to AFC, he won't quit, he's determined to finish the course but wishes he could live at home and still do the job he wants to do. I've been reading the posts of others saying their JS's can't wait to go back and hope that mine isn't the only one who wants to be at home and do the job at the same time? I've reinforced to him how much he wants this, how things will change when he goes back...that he'll have more free time. I think one of the reasons he wants to stay is because he has a girlfriend...I just hope he doesn't end up throwing his career away for her!!!

I thought this week was going to be great and yet I'm really struggling to cope with it all! Am I the only one?

Hi Wolvesmum,

You are not the only one, otherwise what are the rest of us doing on Arrse when our JS's are at home. I thought I wouldn't be on here for a week and I have spent tonight catching up. My JS has been with his friends every night, I work during the day and can only get Friday off, so I feel it's a bit of an anti climax too as I thought I'd get to spend loads of time with him. I keep wanting to asking him loads of questions and he only just seems to be relaxing. He has also got a girlfriend who he has been chasing for months before finally getting together (this week) I too hope he doesn't want to be here more than Harrogate for all the wrong reasons. X

the only way we have managed to pin our js down for two hours with his "family" was a promise of a free meal out tonight ,which went down great but had to drop him off at ANOTHER girls house on the way home,but at least we chatted!!!and we saw him.nice to hear the week hasnt been hunky dorey for a lot of others you seem to think you are the only one ! thank god for this forum ..... enjoy the rest of the week LOL

Originally Posted by jellybaby123

Originally Posted by seashellie

Originally Posted by wolvesmum

Hi LooseScrew

I certainly felt like I'd been replaced and I must say I was a little upset but proud at the same time.

Since going to the passing in parade on Friday, when I felt such pride, I've had such mixed emotions...glad to have him home, sad that I have to work, proud that he has grown up so much in 6 weeks, anxiety of taking him back on Sunday! I don't know whether I'm coming or going! Does anyone else feel like this?

He said he's not really looking forward to going back to AFC, he won't quit, he's determined to finish the course but wishes he could live at home and still do the job he wants to do. I've been reading the posts of others saying their JS's can't wait to go back and hope that mine isn't the only one who wants to be at home and do the job at the same time? I've reinforced to him how much he wants this, how things will change when he goes back...that he'll have more free time. I think one of the reasons he wants to stay is because he has a girlfriend...I just hope he doesn't end up throwing his career away for her!!!

I thought this week was going to be great and yet I'm really struggling to cope with it all! Am I the only one?

Hi Wolvesmum,

You are not the only one, otherwise what are the rest of us doing on Arrse when our JS's are at home. I thought I wouldn't be on here for a week and I have spent tonight catching up. My JS has been with his friends every night, I work during the day and can only get Friday off, so I feel it's a bit of an anti climax too as I thought I'd get to spend loads of time with him. I keep wanting to asking him loads of questions and he only just seems to be relaxing. He has also got a girlfriend who he has been chasing for months before finally getting together (this week) I too hope he doesn't want to be here more than Harrogate for all the wrong reasons. X

the only way we have managed to pin our js down for two hours with his "family" was a promise of a free meal out tonight ,which went down great but had to drop him off at ANOTHER girls house on the way home,but at least we chatted!!!and we saw him.nice to hear the week hasnt been hunky dorey for a lot of others you seem to think you are the only one ! thank god for this forum ..... enjoy the rest of the week LOL

Our son has been exactly the same - we think it is because they just want to be 'free' for a bit and act like other 16 year olds - to be honest our son was usually out and about with friends, on his motorbike/trial/road or traithlon bike or swimming/running etc most of the time before he went away and he has just slotted back into that routine
We wouldn't have it any other way I think they might just want to be kids for a bit
I also think (I think a lot) that this shows they are a credit to us - they know they are safe and secure in the family home -HOW DEEP IS THAT!!?

All said I wouldnt mind a bit of his time lol x x

Originally Posted by Min11

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Min 11 said "lmao never thought I'd ever say it but no ta............. "

Go on Min, I'll throw in a fiver!!

Hahahahaha nope sorry, he's being a star so I'll stick with what I have :D

OK, a tenner and that's my final offer! You drive a hard bargain.

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Originally Posted by Min11

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Min 11 said "lmao never thought I'd ever say it but no ta............. "

Go on Min, I'll throw in a fiver!!

Hahahahaha nope sorry, he's being a star so I'll stick with what I have :D

OK, a tenner and that's my final offer! You drive a hard bargain.

Seashellie has offered the same so I'll have to offer more.................how about 1.6 million?.................and that is definitely my final offer!

It's not actually 1.6 million but a £1 Lottery ticket which could just make you 1.6 million tomorrow evening. Now, that has to be a tempting offer!

So far as our JS's on leave are concerned, it does appear there is a general underlying element of boredom...........it's only to be expected. They have just spent the last 6 weeks in a fully disciplined environment doing things they could only have dreamt about normally. They've been up to their necks in "muck and bullets" and have generally been having a whale of a time. So how can we in our relatively mundane way of lives and surroundings expect to equal that? Not a chance!!
We haven't lost them and never will, they will always know we love them unconditionally and you can be sure they will always love us back, it's just that at 16 they aren't demonstrative.................but they will be,..... give them time!
Whatever happens from here on, all we have to do is to let them know we will always love them no matter what and that we are prepared to stand behind them in whatever they choose to do.
They have made us incredibly proud so far, but be sure there's even better to come.
Don't grieve for a lost one, accept the fact, no matter how difficult it is to do, that the tiny, fragrant pink bundle you held in your arms only yesterday, or so it seems, is now a fully mature and handsome young adult who will one day, put the "great" in Great Britain, and we can all, no matter how difficult it seems, rejoice in that fact.
We as parents can be extremely proud that we have raised our children to have respect for our great Country and its values and to be a very important part of it and its future.

Hi All,

10 months in with our son in Phase 1 at Harrogate and, yes, every time he comes home we notice changes in him. At first, I have to admit I felt that the Army had taken over my job as parent, and I felt almost redundant. My JS had loads to occupy him 24/7 and I had a big empty gap.

However, I am so proud of the young man he has become over that time and he has become his own man. Yes, his new family is the Army but I have come to realise that it's his other family's support that have kept him going ...... sharing the good times with him, and the not so good times. He will always be my son and he knows that unconditionally he has our love and support, which will enable him to meet the challenges of the years ahead.

Alot of the JS do get bored on leave. I have found mine has outgrown alot of his civvie mates and most of them don't have the kind of money ours have in their bank accounts. Mine is constantly in touch with his Section when on leave and they are already planning to meet up on the journey back, and can't wait!!

It's a huge learning curve for our JS but, as parents, it's also a big learning curve for us too ......... please don't beat yourselves up if you haven't seen as much of your JS as you would have liked, and if they refer to AFC(H) as home .......... it just means you have given them the confidence they need to accept the realities of Phase 1 training and beyond. Be proud of yourselves as well as your JS!!

Some of them, no doubt, will get very homesick when they go back, but again they will get through it and be proud that they did. Just keep on reinforcing the positives ....... how hard they trained to get through selection, how proud they were when they passed and how good it felt to be on the parade square on Passing In.

I hope you have all found some time with your JS and have had a fabulous week and, yes, I'll still have prickly eyes when my JS returns on Sunday to his last half term before Passing Out in December!! Must be alot of dust around our local railway station!!!

Rose xxxxxxxx

Well said Rose.

Originally Posted by LooseScrew

Seashellie has offered the same so I'll have to offer more.................how about 1.6 million?.................and that is definitely my final offer!

It's not actually 1.6 million but a £1 Lottery ticket which could just make you 1.6 million tomorrow evening. Now, that has to be a tempting offer!

Hmmmm......well can I wait and see if it wins before I decide?

Hmmmm......well can I wait and see if it wins before I decide?

No.