I have decided that henceforth, notwithstanding what memebers of my former Regiment may say, I am to be known as:

"Lieutenant General HIH The Viscount Jorrocks of Bunbury, VD and scar, QGM, DFC, MC, TD, DL"

Anyone failing to bend the knee in my presence will be sued.

I have set up my own Army but this may be slightly delayed before it actually fields a force.

In the meanwhile, I have set up my own Air Force as this looked like less effort and was far less likely to have to turn out for anything (except perhaps to entertain air hostesses in need of assistance).

Yours in nobility,

Jorrocks
(Signed by an equerry in my absence)

Originally Posted by John_Jorrocks

I have decided that henceforth, notwithstanding what memebers of my former Regiment may say, I am to be known as:

"Lieutenant General HIH The Viscount Jorrocks of Bunbury, VD and scar, QGM, DFC, MC, TD, DL"

Anyone failing to bend the knee in my presence will be sued.

I have set up my own Army but this may be slightly delayed before it actually fields a force.

In the meanwhile, I have set up my own Air Force as this looked like less effort and was far less likely to have to turn out for anything (except perhaps to entertain air hostesses in need of assistance).

Yours in nobility,

Jorrocks
(Signed by an equerry in my absence)

Your Eminence

What about your own church and order of chivalry?

Rt Rev Lieutenant General HIH The Viscount Jorrocks of Bunbury, VD and scar, QGM, DFC, MC, TD, DL, Grand Master of the Order of St Walter.

Originally Posted by Gas Gas Gas

Originally Posted by John_Jorrocks

I have decided that henceforth, notwithstanding what memebers of my former Regiment may say, I am to be known as:

"Lieutenant General HIH The Viscount Jorrocks of Bunbury, VD and scar, QGM, DFC, MC, TD, DL"

Anyone failing to bend the knee in my presence will be sued.

I have set up my own Army but this may be slightly delayed before it actually fields a force.

In the meanwhile, I have set up my own Air Force as this looked like less effort and was far less likely to have to turn out for anything (except perhaps to entertain air hostesses in need of assistance).

Yours in nobility,

Jorrocks
(Signed by an equerry in my absence)

Your Eminence

What about your own church and order of chivalry?

Rt Rev Lieutenant General HIH The Viscount Jorrocks of Bunbury, VD and scar, QGM, DFC, MC, TD, DL, Grand Master of the Order of St Walter.

Hmm, it has a certain ring to it. I'll need more gold braid though and an extra Garter Star.

Hope you were curtseying when you typed that or the Order of St Walter ninja disciples may have to track you down and do something rotten to you...

GGG, divinity, physics or philosophy, I know not and care even less.
At the risk of crossing swords with Sue, Grabbit & Run, Libel Lawyers, his dukedom includes a city where a favoured dark beverage is brewed, nuff said.

My Lords,

I have spotted a niche in the market.

There don't appear to be any sea-going frontiersmen, which I think is an appalling oversight. In order to rectify this, I propose the "Legion of Admiralty", not to be confused with the Royal Navy (splitters!). We will be open to all ranks and rates of men, although it will help if you can fulfil any of the following criteria:

1. Have failed the AIB (twice).
2. Have seen active service in the sea scouts (Beaver section).
3. Get seasick on the gosport ferry.

Lord Lounger-WR, Admiral de la mare, Fifth Sea Lord, Her Majesty's Britannia (Encyclopedia) Naval Forces, High Representative of the Romanov Court to the United Kingdom, Legate of Rome and Tribune of the Marine Plebs.

Originally Posted by WRLounger

1. Have failed the AIB (twice).

Oh b@gger! That's me out, I actually passed it twice!

2. Have seen active service in the sea scouts (Beaver section).

Would you consider the RAF CCF as valid?

3. Get seasick on the gosport ferry.

I have felt unwell in Portsmouth and may have looked at the ferry in that state.

GGG,

Do not fear, here at the Legion of Admiralty we are always ready to lend a hand to those who have been more successful than ourselves and a pass at AIB is no real barrier to advancement within our exalted ranks. Our fifth sea lord is suspected of passing said Board (when no one was looking).

Actually it's a bit hard walt spotting in the marine environment, since there are a proliferation of nautical organisations all with their own regalia, many of whom do a great deal of good work making it very difficult to out them. That said, they usually give themsleves away by having polished shoes and shapely berets!

Originally Posted by still21inmymind

GGG, divinity, physics or philosophy, I know not and care even less.
At the risk of crossing swords with Sue, Grabbit & Run, Libel Lawyers, his dukedom includes a city where a favoured dark beverage is brewed, nuff said.

There is only one duchy which "includes" said city and that is that of Leinster. the 9th Duke is certainly not this "gentleman". The marquisate of Dublin itself is extinct, so is an ideal title for Walts to aspire to. In fact to strike while the iron is hot, I am now Cuddles, Marquis of Dublin (the 1st of the second creation if it please your lordships).

Originally Posted by Cuddles

Originally Posted by still21inmymind

GGG, divinity, physics or philosophy, I know not and care even less.
At the risk of crossing swords with Sue, Grabbit & Run, Libel Lawyers, his dukedom includes a city where a favoured dark beverage is brewed, nuff said.

There is only one duchy which "includes" said city and that is that of Leinster. the 9th Duke is certainly not this "gentleman". The marquisate of Dublin itself is extinct, so is an ideal title for Walts to aspire to. In fact to strike while the iron is hot, I am now Cuddles, Marquis of Dublin (the 1st of the second creation if it please your lordships).

Can I be a serf? (got my own board), or failing that a pedant (like a peasant, but picky)

Originally Posted by John_Jorrocks

I have decided that henceforth, notwithstanding what memebers of my former Regiment may say, I am to be known as:

"Lieutenant General HIH The Viscount Jorrocks of Bunbury, VD and scar, QGM, DFC, MC, TD, DL"

Anyone failing to bend the knee in my presence will be sued.

I have set up my own Army but this may be slightly delayed before it actually fields a force.

In the meanwhile, I have set up my own Air Force as this looked like less effort and was far less likely to have to turn out for anything (except perhaps to entertain air hostesses in need of assistance).

Yours in nobility,

Jorrocks
(Signed by an equerry in my absence)

Sir,

I respectfully put myself forward for a position in your new organisation. As I am distantly related to the famous Captain Vladimir Lgunovich Volta-Mitski GCIOUR, OM(2nd Class), OMB, I feel that a hitherto undiscovered latent talent for walting may be in my blood. Breeding will out, as I am sure you will agree.

I believe that Captain Volta-Mitski’s medals may be still in my attic, and if not I can get one of the servants to make passable replicas from an old baked bean tin and some fancy ribbon from the local haberdashery emporium.

In the light of Captain Volta-Mitski’s previous good service, may I be so bold as to suggest that I be appointed as plenipotentiary to the Court of His Imperial Highness Nicholas II, Czar of All the Russias, King of Poland, Grand Duke of Finland (deceased)?

If you are unaware of my illustrious ancestor, please click on Annex A below.

I have the honour to be,
Sir,
Your obedient servant,
Chinggis

Annex A
Curriculum Vitae
Captain Vladimir Lgunovich Volta-Mitski
Grand Cross of the Imperial Order of the Unreliable Eagle
Order of Mendacity, Second Class
Order of Military Buddhists