Oh, and an Aldeburgh. What an exciting game this is.

Originally Posted by putteesinmyhands

Oh, and an Aldeburgh. What an exciting game this is.

And Burghclere in Hampshire.

I don't know if I can take any more.

Originally Posted by Capt_Cuddlebunny

on Tyne or under Lyme?

under Lyme a sh1t pit, upon tyne one of the great cities.

Originally Posted by Private_Pike

Consett is the Village of the Damned- they eat their own young you know.

You don't need to go that far up north, just have a look at Darlo. They built a ring road round it so as to stop the local Highwaymen harrassing outsiders. Those aren't gypo horses you see tethered up at the side of the A66. The council wildly claimed that it was actually built to stop the pikeys from Middlesbrough doing a spot of robbing on thier way back home from the Gypo site on the A1 at Jocks Corner.

As soon as you leave Yorkshire, you know that you are in bandit country and that you're in it until you reach Berwick.

Originally Posted by putteesinmyhands

Originally Posted by Biscuits_AB

but his successors are still evident in the town and surrounding burghs.

What? Edinburgh, Jedburgh, Helensburgh?

Unfortunately yes. One of Maude and Frank's grandsons got himself a job on the railways at Stockton. From there he spread the family DNA far and wide. Thankfully his kith and kin remained around Teeside. I understand that there was a large concentration of them around Redcar.

Originally Posted by Howay_the_Lads

Raid, I find your avatar strangely disturbing.

i find yours as well.

Interesting thread! Though I've not been enlightened as to what I should see/do or where I should go!

I will be turning up to Newcastle on the 12th for one day for the first time, not knowing a single soul!

I have duly noted from your comments that I should be wary around the Central Station and should keep my possessions glued to my body at all times.

I invariably rub along by smiling lots, being friendly and being female (mostly in that order). However, from comments made on this thread will I have to keep my mouth shut in order to avoid offending the locals with my home counties accent?

I would like to point out that I am thus far extremely well disposed towards North-easterners being a great fan of both Robson Green and Darren Morfitt although they're from Hexham and Hartlepool. Therefore I will naturally be avoiding the infamous 'Geordie lass.' Although for curiosity's sake I am keen to spot the creature in its natural habitat.

Being a Londoner, I usually call all north-easterners 'Geordies' in my ignorance so will have to be wary of putting my foot in it. However, I have no doubt that I will be enchanted as I am a real sucker for the accent, even if I can't fathom a word.

As a Newcastle virgin, a real southerner and not being a jaded old b*stard, I will give you my honest opinion of encountering Newcastle for the first time!

If they're all as friendly as Geordie_Pride who was keen to offer me some geordie-lovin' immediately upon introduction then I'm sure I'll go back for a subsequent visit! :D

Just don't make eye contact.

And don't go to Glasgow by mistake ... Famous for being the European Knifing Capital!

As a matter of fact absolute, you will find a wide selection of friendly and attractive young ladies. If you happen across something repulsive, foul mouthed and tatooed wearing a skirt, speaking in a dialect reminiscent of Klingon, do not be alarmed it is merely a Scotsman who has stumbled into Western Civilisation.

To put this into some sort of visual context, there is a very famous illustration called "The Ascent of Man" showing evolution from the Apes into Homo Sapien. Think of the monkey on the far left of the image and visualise ITS ancestor in a Kilt....

Originally Posted by AbsoluteJEM

Interesting thread! Though I've not been enlightened as to what I should see/do or where I should go!

I will be turning up to Newcastle on the 12th for one day for the first time, not knowing a single soul!

If you go a couple of hundred metres up Westgate Hill, you'll see a museum set back from the road on the right. (The Discovery Museum or a meringue?) Up at the back you'll find a museum dedicated to 15th/19th The King's Royal Hussars (and a nod to the Light Dragoons). The museum was created by my first ever troop leader, Rarfy T.

It'll pass you a morning.

Up the hill, past the Landfill* on Barracks Road toward the moor, and in the TA Centre, you can blag your way in and sign the LD Home Headquarters guest book. But it isn't exciting at all.

Glad to be of help.

* Copyright me a few years ago when the Barcodes were on telly, I didn't turn over quickly enough and Wor Lass expressed concerned at the ordurous state of the pitch. I surmised that during the week it must be used for another purpose: I suggested a landfill site on account of the ordure on the pitch.

On another occasion, I took the train to God's Country and, shortly after crossing back into the Known Universe, I stood and pointed and declared: "Look, down there: it's Sid James's Park. Oh no, my mistake: it's a scrap yard." Oh how the other passengers larfed.

(I don't follow football. I am a Sunderland supporter.)

FTM