Fitness Tests for Schoolchildren?

An admirable idea? However I can just see how it would be implemented. In the interests of diversity, inclusion and anti-elitism, the following changes will gradually be brought in when conducting the MSFT:

• The distance between the lines will be gradually reduced from 20m to 2m.
• The time between bleeps will increase during the test rather than decreasing.
• The test will become modular, with sections being taken throughout the school year & the best result attained counted.

Finally, when every child in the country has reached level 17, Eddie Bollocks & Sir Liam Donaldson will announce that this is a testament to the hard work of teachers & learners and in no way has the test been devalued. However a new Level 17* grade will be brought in to recognized the most athletic.

It is the Government’s aim that 50% of the population will get to row in the Boat Race/play in the Varsity Match/compete in the Olympics and Harridan Harperson will introduce a new anti-discrimination law which will ensure that no one is deprived of these opportunities regardless of their lack of sporting talent.