ARmy Rumour SErvice

**TaffJ** · 03-08-2009, 00:26

We used to have one fat fecker, Jock Someoneorother, who had those special pants, you know the ones with the upside down triangle of cloth the size of a Fastnet yacht's sail sewn in on either side of his ample ar se cheeks. Surprisingly he could still pass a BFT, I think mainly because once he got going he was like a super tanker that takes 1.5 miles to stop. He was still a fat cnut though.

**Flatcapper** · 03-08-2009, 00:48

Is this really true/as bad as they papers say? That some people really are too unfit to deploy? If so this has stunned me. Im not acctually in the army yet, am still wating to go to basic but the impression i got from selection was that all those test were design to show who wasnt ready.
I mean I am still probably the biggest lad out of my mates, despite shedding a fair bit of weight before selection, but passed with good standards. Im not pointing fingers or anything just curious to find out how people become too unfit when they do a job where your fitness is key to your success. Is it sometimes due to injury? Do some people just fall behind on exercise? etc.

**oldgoat** · 03-08-2009, 03:39

Originally Posted by Flatcapper

Is this really true/as bad as they papers say? That some people really are too unfit to deploy? If so this has stunned me. Im not acctually in the army yet, am still wating to go to basic but the impression i got from selection was that all those test were design to show who wasnt ready.
I mean I am still probably the biggest lad out of my mates, despite shedding a fair bit of weight before selection, but passed with good standards. Im not pointing fingers or anything just curious to find out how people become too unfit when they do a job where your fitness is key to your success. Is it sometimes due to injury? Do some people just fall behind on exercise? etc.

Not seen the funeral footage from the Welsh Guards officer then?
Anyone from the Welsh Guards would like to comment?

And yes in the good old days friends of mine (serving members of said regiment)would have skinned the fat feckers.!!!!!

**oldgoat** · 03-08-2009, 03:48

Originally Posted by big_mac4824

BMI is a load of bollox! Plenty of my mates would be regarded as obese, but regulary knock out a 0930 PFT, also they never have problems with CO's pt or cft's, the fact is commanders are petrified to write on a soldiers SJAR that he is lacking in fitness! the fact is all you have to do pass your pft and cft twice a year, job done.

have been in about 12 years now, I remember a pirbright breifing a few years back, I was told then that recruits did not necesarily have to pass their fitness tests as it was the requirement of their new unit to cope with them! also due to the fact that you can not say too much to recruits incase you are accused of bullying, (once this happens you are srewed) these poor get to their new units and get the shock of their lives when they are disciplined for shite physical ability and poor discipline.

As in the No 7 All blacks rugby player.

According to this BMI crap he is OBESE.

which proves a point. Doctors and graffs do not mix. Unless the doctor is a wonker.

**oldgoat** · 03-08-2009, 03:55

Originally Posted by The_Snail

Originally Posted by oldgoat

Originally Posted by stacker1

Originally Posted by oldgoat

How about remedial PT or "5 mile walks" leading to 10 mile bash with 40lb of sand in the pouches etc every saturday AND sunday morning 8am and 2pm for the porkies.

Been suggested, was binned after a week for "picking on them".

Good god, is the army (and many who snail in her) now that soft or spineless?

Ooof, that was harsh.

I almost cried myself to sleep.

Sorry, not a poke at your good self.

trying to be sarcastic about the speed at which the army now moves. Desission making etc. Unless of course its about "ones" pension!

**oldgoat** · 03-08-2009, 04:00

Originally Posted by bullet_catcher

Originally Posted by Fallschirmjager

Originally Posted by bullet_catcher

Old and unfit as I am, if a gun went off anywhere near me right now, I guarantee that I could run faster than an asthmatic ant who had just dropped his heavy shopping and was running with all six legs in hyperdrive.

Why. Are you a coward?

Fair question, but as you know, all Arrsers would automatically run towards the sound of the guns.

Party time?

**oldgoat** · 03-08-2009, 04:16

Ok, for those in power who will be watching this thread (well ok your subordonutes) there was on the tv a program about camp bastion and the british army. Shock horror.

Some sadly overpaid and underworked PTI was trying to be usefull between visiting the local phillipino brothel and usa fat shop.

As has been said already, all the fatties do a 12 MONTH tour in afgan right up to and including the FOB areas.

If they (the fatties) never leave the camp area then they are in a safe area so may be the extra money train could be reduced.

Pushing more than 9000 troops into afgoonistan in ONE stroke would leave many of the "rlc", "reme" free to do all the nice outward bound activities etc, ZB Golf, wonking, skying, shaging anyone etc etc.

Any comments from the red collar brigade, assuming you are not on a golf course.

**GrumpyGit** · 03-08-2009, 05:14

Originally Posted by oldgoat

Not seen the funeral footage from the Welsh Guards officer then?
Anyone from the Welsh Guards would like to comment?
And yes in the good old days friends of mine (serving members of said regiment)would have skinned the fat feckers.!!!!!

I know the WO who was front left. A rather "large" chap, was the Sigs CSgt when I knew him. Despite his size, you would be hard pushed to find a fitter, stronger, more robust man. I witnesse him doing CFT's and leaving younger soldiers in his wake. Don't judge a book by the cover.

Having said that, I don't think there will be an Inf Bn around that does not have its fair share of "fat" lads.

**oldgoat** · 03-08-2009, 05:27

Originally Posted by GrumpyGit

Originally Posted by oldgoat

Not seen the funeral footage from the Welsh Guards officer then?
Anyone from the Welsh Guards would like to comment?
And yes in the good old days friends of mine (serving members of said regiment)would have skinned the fat feckers.!!!!!

I know the WO who was front left. A rather "large" chap, was the Sigs CSgt when I knew him. Despite his size, you would be hard pushed to find a fitter, stronger, more robust man. I witnesse him doing CFT's and leaving younger soldiers in his wake. Don't judge a book by the cover.

Having said that, I don't think there will be an Inf Bn around that does not have its fair share of "fat" lads.

May be the red collar workers should be looking for "volunteers" to suppliment the obvious thinly streatched "backstreet" workers just to show that a fatty can still "do it"?

But as I remember the "fatties" never made it to NI either.

But were promoted before we came back.

The army had about 50.000 more troops then, so "under the radar" was pretty simple.

Just like the marines, paras, et al in 1982.

Yomping from a to b having to carry "ALL" the kit because the choppers had gone down with the atlantic conveyer suddenly proved the bft 1.5mile crap was indeed crap.

PTI's were unable to carry even the basic eqpt.

After 10 miles they even had to strip down to basic cft.

they could run a bft in silly time but not march with anything.

guess who carried their kit.

Yes the fatty rugby players.

seems the same crap is still around.

**ZacDaBoss** · 03-08-2009, 05:39

Originally Posted by GrumpyGit

Originally Posted by oldgoat

Not seen the funeral footage from the Welsh Guards officer then?
Anyone from the Welsh Guards would like to comment?
And yes in the good old days friends of mine (serving members of said regiment)would have skinned the fat feckers.!!!!!

I know the WO who was front left. A rather "large" chap, was the Sigs CSgt when I knew him. Despite his size, you would be hard pushed to find a fitter, stronger, more robust man. I witnesse him doing CFT's and leaving younger soldiers in his wake. Don't judge a book by the cover.

Having said that, I don't think there will be an Inf Bn around that does not have its fair share of "fat" lads.

I think we can all agree there are fatties that can pull their weight - boom boom - and run a lot of skinny freaks into the dirt and then some whilst its the fabloned biffchit Bde who are first in the queue for seconds come grub time and only move with the speed of a gazel when reach for their racing spoons when others have a pot noddle or chips about their person!