Not really a war film as such, but there were soldiery types involved in there......"Harry's Game". *Ropey script, unbelieveable plot, and the those "authentic" Norn Irish accents that make us genuine spud-munchers laugh! *Throw in thon wee girl from Clannad wailing over the top of it all, and what have ya got? *A classic!!

Surely it’s got to be “The Law of Armed Conflict”. *Random patrol of Woofers finds Imber village occupied by overacting pads’ wives and evil villains dressed for a Bond movie who give up at the first burst of jimpy fire. *Patrol immediately becomes the most unconvincing and well-disciplined bunch of rapists and pillagers in the history of warfare (“Oi, Smudger, give that walkman back right now!”). *Special mention must go to the platoon signaller caught turning his 9mm ammunition into dum-dums with an army clasp knife (“I’ve got to make sure I get the bastards first time”) – let’s face it, they’re more of a hazard to him than anyone else – and the sergeant/corporal who prevents the “rape scene” getting out of hand. *Actually, he was quite good, could be a bit of method acting there.

Anyway, it gets my vote, ‘cos, however, shite the rest of the nominations are, at least you don’t have to watch them every soddin’ year! (with the possible exception of Escape to Victory of Course).

Right, I think I've got the hang of this technology lark, so I'll try again:

Surely it's got to be "The Law of Armed Conflict". *Random patrol of Woofers finds Imber village occupied by overacting pads' wives and evil villains dressed for a Bond movie who give up at the first burst of jimpy fire. *Patrol immediately becomes the most unconvincing and well-disciplined bunch of rapists and pillagers in the history of warfare ("Oi, Smudger, give that walkman back right now!"). *Special mention must go to the platoon signaller caught turning his 9mm ammunition into dum-dums with an army clasp knife ("I've got to make sure I get the bastards first time") - let's face it, they're more of a hazard to him than anyone else - and the sergeant/corporal who prevents the "rape scene" getting out of hand. *Actually, he was quite good, could be a bit of method acting there.

Anyway, it gets my vote, 'cos, however, shite the rest of the nominations are, at least you don't have to watch them every soddin' year! (with the possible exception of Escape to Victory of Course).

I think it bears repetition.

P.S. If anyone out there is in the right department for this sort of thing, could we have a new film please?

Haven't seen that for years but you've fanastic discription bought it all flooding back. As Jonathon Ross would have said "A twuley widiculous wartime dwama, lacking wealism, even the won womance scene was without weeality" (No offence JR, I know your libel lawyer has a bigger wig than my libel....etc etc)

Best line of the film, "why are you treating him he's an enemy soldier".............Christ! It was like pulling teeth! More corn than the Mid-West!

P.S. I second the motion, new film please!

Vermin -
You're right about the film - and, of course, as you could probably be prosecuted for most of the infractions shown, you should know...

Anyway, a new one will be needed to show what to do when the International War Crimes Tribunal arrest us for the evil acts of killing foreigners.

Best line of the film, "why are you treating him he's an enemy soldier".............

God, I'd forgotton that one! *Awful, truly awful!

I think that the film is so bad that it's brilliant! Bad acting, bad location, bad story line, nowhere near reality..... could have been made in Hollywood (and I don't mean just outside Belfast!)!!

What happend to the other annual SKC/SSVC classics? I think I must have seen "An Appointment with Fire" more times than the Great Escape.

Having said that, even the new SSVC films are bad. Anyone seen "AFV Safety"? Talk about cardboard acting, and what is that woman doing talking about AFVs? She looks like she's never even seen one before. Totally Bizarre!

The NBC film showing the effects of 'incapacitating agents' which involves loads of giggling soldiers trying to load a Stalwart and collapsing in a happy heap. *It probably lured more soldiers into trying LSD than anything else!

It was also responsible for getting several people I know to volunteer for applying for a paid holiday at Porton Down too..... they never got any LSD though *;)

Are they still alive (and healthy), or are they being investigated by the Hants Police?