Thread: Worst lyrics EVER

I like the COldplay song Viva la Vida, and always meant to look up the lyrics

I did this morning at a lyric site and found one where people can say what they think songs mean...

There were interpretations from it being about Napoleoin, Louis the x111vvv (whatever, but the bloke whos head was chopped off, to our own dear Saddam Hussein, and even to it being about George Bush.

To me, it is glaringly obvious that the song is about a dishonest cabbage salesman from Neasden, and I have posted accordingly here http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/c...60#moveto58733

so feel free to add your own, hopefully ridiculous, views on that site, and see how many people we can annoy.

I'll paste the last meaning, and my answer below;

by nikkitacroix on Dec 05, 2008 at 08:34 PMShow I think this song is about Saddam Hussein al Tikriti and the US - Iraq war. Dedicated to America as an expression of what they had done in opposition to massive global disapproval and anti-war protests.

There are might be some logical fallacies in my explanations but they help breakthrough the artistic license and wording by the composers.

"I used to rule the World", refers to Saddam being head of state and hence a world leader therefore ruling the World.
"Seas would rise when I gave the word", refers to the increase of 'seas of oil' during Saddam's seizure and increase of Iraqi oil field production, and the increase in coastline during the Kuwait Invasion.
"Now in the morning I sweep alone, sweep the streets I used to own", refers to hiding in the hole the US found him in and having to constantly 'sweep' his tracks to avoid being followed and found.
"I used to roll the dice, feel the fear in my enemy's eyes", is a metaphor for war, as in playing the board game Risk. Alternatively, it could also refer to gambling his life during the several failed assassination attempts, including when a would-be assassin's gun misfired (or had the safety on) at point blank range before being killed by Saddam with the same gun (I don't know if this anecdote it real, but it is a story I heard about Saddam).
“Listen as the crowd would sing: ‘Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!’�, refers to Saddam’s personality cult, the ‘old king’ being previous rulers of Iraq, and possibly King Hussein of Jordan.
“One minute I held the key�, refers to the key to the kingdom (Iraq), world power, political relations, his palaces, the power to imprison, etc.
“Next the walls were closed on me�, refers to obstruction, political and economic sanctions, and being outcast and considered a fugitive in his own country, as well as being imprisoned and detained by the US.
“And I discovered that my castles stand upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand�, refers to the loss of internal and external political support from the world and the US, and also to the literal destruction by ‘bunker busters’ of his palaces turning them, as well as other parts of his country, to rubble. Additionally, while fleeing the biblical towns of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt. "Sodom" is the pronounciation that George H.W. Bush used for Saddam.
“I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing, Roman Cavalry choirs are singing�, refers to the anti-war protests from places like Israel, which is usually pro US; Jordan, owning disputed ‘East Jerusalem�; and Rome, where the largest anti-war rally in history took place, including anti-war support from the Pope (leader of a religion historically opposed to the religion Saddam believed).
“Be my mirror, my sword, and shield, my missionaries in a foreign field�, refers to a plea of help to the rest of the world’s nations, the Pope, the other Muslims, Jews; for distraction from, fighting against, and protection from the US invasion.
“For some reason I can’t explain�, refers to how he was unable to convince the US coalition that he was telling the truth about WMD, even after interviews by US's Dan Rather.
“Once you know there was never, never an honest word�, refers to the lies fed to the World by the Bush Administration about the WMD and need to invade Iraq.
“That was when I ruled the world�, refers to how now that Saddam is dead, and Iraq has been thoroughly searched; no WMD have ever been found, and the World now knows that Bush was lying.
“It was the wicked and wild wind�, is an allusion and metaphor for the US and its allies referring to the ‘Wicked Witch of the West’, and the ‘Wild West’.
“Blew down the doors to let me in�, refers to the help of the US in the 1959 – 1969 assassination attempts and coup d’état’s which put the Ba’ath party and Saddam in power.
“Shattered windows�, refers to the phrase ‘people in glass houses should not throw stones’, and Saddam’s decision to nationalize Iraqi oil production, destroying the foreign ‘glass’ house.
“And the sound of drums�, refers to the drums of war during the Kuwait war and possibly also the Iran – Iraq war.
“People couldn’t believe what I’d become�, refers to the ‘tyrannical’ behavior of causing wars, destabilizing the area, and degrading political relations after the massive social progress and ‘modernization’ that he had done for Iraq.
“Revolutionaries wait�, refers to the US (1775 -1783 American Revolutionary War).
“For my head on a silver plate�, refers to the Iraq war’s purpose of overthrowing Saddam, and the capture, trial, and execution by the US.
“Just a puppet�, refers to the way the US placed Saddam as head of the Iraqi state.
“On a lonely string�, refers to the loss of support (strings) from the US, and the flimsy lies of WMD for the US - Iraq War.
“Oh who would ever want to be King?�, is a lamentation for his predicament, not a real king but a puppet set for execution, and a warning for the future leaders.
“I know Saint Peter will call my name�, there is some debate whether the word is ‘will’ or ‘won’t’, but it refers to either Saddam believing that he was still a good person and only did what he thought was best for his people, himself, and his country; or the realization that he will not survive the war, and that he has no chance of dying graciously or honorably to get into heaven. I think he says 'won't'.

This may not be the 'official' meaning of the lyrics, but this is what I interpret them to mean. I think that most artists are inspired by the events that occur during the time in which they live. For this reason, I do not agree that the lyrics are about Napoleon, even if the cover art depicts otherwise.

and mine

by londonirish on Dec 06, 2008 at 06:07 AMShow

I think it is about a man from Neasden who sells cabbages in Portobello Market on saturday mornings...

Think about it, its obvious..."Never an honest word" clearly referrs to the evil manipulative techniques cabbage-hawkers use to dull the otherwise sharp minds of NorthWest London housewives.

"It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in"

referrs to his blowing the doors off the Vegetable Storage Facility at New Covent Garden wholesale market inorder to steal the cabbages, which enabled him to sell them so cheaply.

Coroborrated by ;

"Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes" as he revells in the despair in the other market traders' eyes as they realise they cannot compete with his bargain cabbage prices.

"my head on a silver plate" is a clear reference to him loosing his market stall, as his huge glut of stolen cabbages start to rot, as the people of Notting Hill ( the "revoloutionaries waiting") grow tired of eating cabbage, albeit at knowck-down prices.

Mrs Peters (Saint Peter) makes a complaint (calls his name) to the Market Manager, a Jewish gentleman called Mr Jerusalem, who rings the bell, ie, calls time on this cavalier trading "cavalry singing", ie someone has "sung" or sneaked on him .

"Now in the morning I sweep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own".

..this implies the despair he feels after Mr Jerusalem, having closed his stall, takes pity on him, and gives him a job sweeping the market after it has shut down for the day, and all the honest traders have gone home.

The fact that none if you had spotted the obvious meaning of this song is beyond me

Eternal - Power of a Woman:

"You need good loving like a desert needs the rain"

Desert eco systems dont need rain, fcuking idiots!

I have now revised my meaning to Viva la Vida because, after long reflection and introspection, I now realise that the song is about having a hand-shandy

Actually, on reflection, I now think the song is about masturbation...permit me to explain.

"Seas would rise " is a clear reference to erection and ejaculation.

"Now in the morning"...isn't that everyone's favourite?

"I used to roll the dice" is clearly about playing with his testes.

"One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, pillars of sand"

...this stanza is obvious...Ome moment he "held the key", the key to his temporary happiness, his penis and then after the transitory joy of orgasm, it all falls away, and he feels closed in ("walls") by his mundane life, as the pillar falls (his erection shrivels) .

"Bells" are a clear reference to his "bell-end" "missionaries" is obviously the sexual position he fantacises about.

Also "blew" and "head" are about his oral sex fantasies, and the last line...

"Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh"

...is self explanatory.

I rest my case.

or click here http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/c...66#moveto59143

"The smell of brahn levvaah, blended in wiv the wevvaah", the Bard of Woking...just as well he started nicking other peoples stuff (Sunflower is largely 10538 Overture).

That bird that was discovered by the t***s from Tears For Fears... She sang that memorable line "I could windsurf into your life, cross the desert like an Arab man" etc. etc. YAWN

Also.... anything by that pretentous t**t Sting

How about Howling Willie C*nts classic tune, "9 couloured spastics on a meathook"? Oh sorry. I thought the thread was Best lyrics ever.

http://www.last.fm/music/Howling+Wil...On+A+Meat+Hook

"yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" now THAT is tautology. U2 I believe.

Originally Posted by flowers

Orrfff one that gripes me beyond belief is the all round do-gooder 2nd son of God - Bono.
From the song Elevation "A mole, digging in a hole"

WHAT!?!?!? How on earth does that sentence warrant a place in a rock/pop song?

Anythng by U2. His mother's cunt should be doused in petrol and set alight as punishment for cursing the earth with that pompous wanker.

This is surely a classic............


I've been going out with a girl,
her name is Julie
But last night she said to me,
when we were watching telly

(This is what she said)

She said listen John, I love you
But there's this bloke, I fancy
I don't want to two time you,
so it's the end for you and me

Who's this bloke I asked her
Goooooordon, she replied
Not THAT puff, I said dismayed
Yes but he's no puff she cried

(He's more of a man than you'll ever be)

Here we go, two three four

I was so upset that I cried,
all the way to the chip shop

When I came out there was Gordon,
standing at the bus stop

(And guess who was with him? Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me)

Oh, she is cruel and heartless
to pack me for Gordon
Just cos he's better looking than me
Just cos he's cool and trendy


[ From: JILTED JOHN - JILTED JOHN LYRICS ]

But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron

Here we go, two three four

Oh she's a slag and he's a creep
She's a tart, he's very cheap
She is a slut, he thinks he's tough
She is a bitch, he is a puff
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
Yeah yeah, it's not fair

(I'm so upset)

I'm so upset, I'm so upset, yeah yeah

(I ought to smash his face in.)

(Yeah, but he's bigger than me. In't he?)

(I know, I'll get my mate Barry to hit him. He'd flatten him)

(Yeah but Barry's a mate of Gordon's in'e?)

(Oh well, I don't care)

I don't care
I don't care
Cause she's a slag and he's a creep
she's a tart, he's very cheap
she is a slut, he thinks he's tough......

'Peaches.' A classic from The Stranglers. Should be mandatory listening for adolescent males...

strolling along minding my own buisness
well there goes a girl and a half
she's got me going up and down
she's got me going up and down

walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

well i got the notion girl that you got some suntan lotion in that bottle of yours
spread it all over my peelin' skin baby
that feels real good
all this skirt lappin' up the sun
lap me up
why don't you come on and
lap me up

walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

well there goes another one just lying down on the sand dunes
i'd better go take a swim and see if i can cool down a little bit
coz you and me woman
we got a lotta things on our minds (you know what i mean)

walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

will you just take a look over there (where?) there
is she tryin' to get outta that clitares?
liberation for women
thats what i preach
preacher man

walking on the beaches looking at the peaches

oh shit
there goes the charabang
looks like im gonna be stuck here the whole summer
well what a bummer
i can think of a lot worse places to be
like down in the streets
or down in the sewer
or even on the end of a skewer

The reworked version of Elton John's 'Candle In The Wind' was truely cringe worthy shite. A hilarious critique of the lyrics, by Francis Wheen, at 6 mins into this vid ...

Why don't you all SHADUPPA YOUR FACE!! Joe Dolce (Kept Ultravox off the No1 slot as i recall!)

That remind's me have we had this one yet? YouTube - John Otway and Wild Willy Barratt - Really Free "Cory baby thats really pants!"

How could you lot forget the Europe wide hit in the late 80's ....... Opus (from Austria) Life Is Life!

Nanananana
Nanananana (all together now)
Nanananana
Nanananana

Life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Labadab dab dab life (nanananana)
Liiiiiiiife (nanananana)

When we all give the power
We all give the best
Every minute of an hour
Don't think about the rest
And you all get the power
You all get the best
When everyone gets everything
And every song everybody sings

And it's life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Labadab dab dab life (nanananana)

Life is life when we all feel the power
Life is life come on, stand up and dance
Life is life when the feeling of the people
Life is life is the feeling of the band

When we all give the power
We all give the best
Every minute of an hour
Don't think about the rest
Then you all get the power
You all get the best
When everyone gives everything
And every song everybody sings

And it's life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Labadab dab dab life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)

Life (nanananana)
(nanananana)
(nanananana)
(nanananana)

Life (nanananana)
Life is life (nanananana)
Labadab dab dab life (nanananana)
Live is life (nanananana)

And you call when it's over
You call it should last
Every minute of the future
Is a memory of the past
Cause we all gave the power
We all gave the best
And everyone gave everything
And every song everybody sang

Life is life

J

FFS, what was Oleta Adams on?


You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can

You can reach me by sailboat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down slow, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can

Get Here If You Can lyrics written and originally peformed by Brenda Russell.
Get Here popularly performed by Oleta Adams and Justin Guarini on American Idol.There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, then surely you would be closer
I need you closer

(interlude, then repeat bridge)

You can windsurf into my life, take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon, but you better make it soon
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can

I don't care, I dont care, I need you right here right now

I need you right here, right now, right by my side (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can.