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Discuss When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpelling at the Education and Resettlement Courses forum within the The Army Rumour Service website; I'm loosing interest....
  1. #11
    Senior Member Rumpelstiltskin's Avatar
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpell

    I'm loosing interest.
    "However proletarian and semiliterate he may have been, the English soldier, well nourished with meat and beer, stimulated with gin, and convinced of his own racial superiority to the foreign rabble he had to face, was a magnificent combatant, as anyone who has ever seen hooligans in action at a soccer match can readily imagine."

    Prof. Alessandro Barbaro, The Battle

    (nicked from Mallinson, The Making of the British Army)

  2. #12
    Senior Member mistersoft's Avatar
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpelling

    Me to.
    I bought a military watch. It didn't tell me the time, it told me to get my hair cut.
    Scribbler of long and boring stories since 2006 with most of them chucked in HERE.

  3. #13
    Senior Member biffins-bridge's Avatar
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpell

    I think theirs allready to much corecting off bad spelling and grammer on this sight as it’s.

  4. #14
    Senior Member rampant's Avatar
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpell

    Know they'res knot

  5. #15
    Moderator Forastero's Avatar
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpelling

    Loose and lose. No, I'm going to loose out by contributing to this thread.
    ARRSE - slamming the wasps from the pure apple of truth.

  6. #16
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpelling

    I once called my sister illiterate - that was almost 15 years' ago and the cow hasn't spoken to me since.

    It is definitely the younger generation that has trouble spelling basic words - and there are far too many of them claiming to be dyslexic when really they are uneducated, ignorant fools.

  7. #17
    Senior Member finnjim's Avatar
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpell

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer peple wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

    There you go Fixed
    Treat things as a dog would.
    If you can't hump it or eat it, then piss on it and walk away

  8. #18
    Senior Member Command_doh's Avatar
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpelling

    I thought grammar nazi's all had to sign the sex offenders' register, by virtue of the fact that only pedo's and weirdo's would bother correcting virtual strangers in the e-niverse?
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  9. #19
    Senior Member mistersoft's Avatar
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpelling

    Were did you hear that?
    I bought a military watch. It didn't tell me the time, it told me to get my hair cut.
    Scribbler of long and boring stories since 2006 with most of them chucked in HERE.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Command_doh's Avatar
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    Re: When anal retention will bring back the Empire - Schpelling

    I think it was the real world. or maybe down the boozer, whilst laughing at some of the tragic geeks I have come across on the interwebz thingie.
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