Thread: I'm thinking of filling in some holes

I recently made some holes,

http://www.arrse.co.uk/Forums/viewtopic/t=142534.html

But now I realise that this was far too advanced for my DIY level, and that I really should have started with a few dents and built up. Does anyone have any advise on the best way of filling said holes or perhaps even favourite tried and tested methods of hole repair?

Sell them on Ebay. You might make a hole load of dosh

Don't fill, just cover. One day you'll find that you need a hole.

Covering holes is easy and cheap, especially if your wall is black, brown or white. Next time you're on the ranges, ask the warden for a few pads of patches and a pot of glue.

Rethink - forget asking for the glue (for obvious reasons). Spit works better.

Originally Posted by putteesinmyhands

Don't fill, just cover. One day you'll find that you need a hole.

Covering holes is easy and cheap, especially if your wall is black, brown or white. Next time you're on the ranges, ask the warden for a few pads of patches and a pot of glue.

Rethink - forget asking for the glue (for obvious reasons). Spit works better.

When surgeons deal with malignancy they use a scalpel to cut it out. I think the correct DIY tool for the job is a hole saw.

Apply to the Pope for registration as an accredited PRI (Place of Religious Importance). You will then be able to charge pilgrims for visiting your holey place.

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole.
Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, with what?
With some straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With some straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, some straw.

The straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The straw is too long, dear Liza, too long,
Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it.

With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, with what?
With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, an axe.

The axe is too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The axe is too dull, dear Liza, too dull.
Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, whet it.

With what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, with what?
With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, a stone.

The stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.
Then moisten it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then moisten it, dear Henry, dear Henry, moisten it.

With what shall I moisten, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I moisten, dear Liza, with what?
Try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, try water.

From where shall I get it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
From where shall I get it, dear Liza, from where?
From the well, dear Henry,dear Henry, dear Henry,
From the well, dear Henry, dear Henry, the well.

In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, in what?
In a bucket dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
In a bucket dear Henry, dear Henry, in a bucket.

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole..

and if I end up singing this in my head all night I will rise up and smite you down with a great vengeance.

My favourite method of Hole Removal is a liberal application of HE, Gets rid of most holes in a Jiffy

Don't fill them in, hang pictures over them.

Hang pictures over them? That sir is just a lazy bodge job that will only cheat yourself! Whatever next? Bang a nail in it?

Have a word

Originally Posted by Jerrycan2793

Hang pictures over them? That sir is just a lazy bodge job that will only cheat yourself! Whatever next? Bang a nail in it?

Have a word

And what will the OP do in a couple of weeks when he/she realises their error, and that a hole or three on that wall there are just the ticket?

Simply whip-off the previously applied Monet. Doddle. Job-jobbed.

I read your other thread, but it didn't mention the holes' location and colour. If they're internal, please be careful, as holes can be vicious in a confined space. They feel trapped, you see, and since nature abhors a vacuum, there's no telling what might happen.

In addition, if the holes are black, they're even worse. There's a feral hole roaming the outback which was smuggled in by immigrants from Calcutta. It doesn't speak the language, so there's no reasoning with it; it's not indigenous, so it can't be rendered useless with alcohol; it's racist, too, it has a real thing against Poms.

You've heard of Peter Falconio? Disappeared a few years back? The hole got him, we just can't prove it.

Good luck. May God be with you.

Originally Posted by RiflemanTom

Does anyone have any advise on the best way of filling said holes or perhaps even favourite tried and tested methods of hole repair?

Toothpaste.

Though nothing bright green and definitely nothing with stripes. Walls don't need the fresh breath and don't usually suffer from excess plaque.

Except for squadron/regimental ones.

Yellow Pages works well.

Ring any plumber. Tell them you want a new bathroom and downstairs shower because you just came into money.

Let them in the door then slam it shut with your shoulders. Pick up the chainsaw. Grin. Tell them to fix the holes fast because the voice of Jesus is getting loud in your head.

Remember to negotiate a discount.

Bugger, thought this was another "If you had to fill a mass grave" thread

Originally Posted by PE4rocks

Bugger, thought this was another "If you had to fill a mass grave" thread

Must admit, me too. Was just going to get on e-bay for an Einztatsgruppen Uniform!