ARmy Rumour SErvice

**mac1** · 19-06-2012, 19:19

Originally Posted by mcflurry

Not sure why he's whinging about the demise of Britain and how awful it is; I'm fairly sure he lives in a mansion in Florida...

maybe the latter's because of the former?

**DeltaDog** · 19-06-2012, 20:00

Originally Posted by brain1998

Watched a programme the other night about the brilliant Harrier Jump jet - No Harrier has every been shot down in air-to air combat.

No Concorde was ever shot down in air-to-air combat either. We should bring them back fo sheezy.

**Charm_City** · 19-06-2012, 20:13

Originally Posted by smallbrownprivates

He nearly gets there with "the criminal incompetence of those charged with running the Armed Forces.", but then skips on to the temporary elected political management, as opposed to examining the permanent in house uniformed management who lost the UK its last 2 wars (See Ledwidge's comments about Generals seeking an equivalent Falklands moment in Helmand to save the army from cuts - that worked out well didn't it?)

But surely the whole point of politicians and civil servants is to allow senior officers to deploy the 'a big boy did it and ran away' defence ??

**the_boy_syrup** · 19-06-2012, 21:12

It's shite with continued shite

If I sat down with my great grandads, grandfathers, various great uncles and uncles I bet we'd all tell the same story.
I bet it would all be about the same subjects as well.
Goverments have always fucked the military.
It was bad enough in days of old when at least the goverment members had served.
It'll not get any better now that the Collage boys are in charge.

**exile1** · 19-06-2012, 21:50

Originally Posted by the_boy_syrup

It's shite with continued shite

If I sat down with my great grandads, grandfathers, various great uncles and uncles I bet we'd all tell the same story.
I bet it would all be about the same subjects as well.
Goverments have always fucked the military.
It was bad enough in days of old when at least the goverment members had served.
It'll not get any better now that the Collage boys are in charge.

This COLLAGE of boys..... do they form a montage of useless prats?

**sunnoficarus** · 19-06-2012, 22:02

Originally Posted by brain1998

Watched a programme the other night about the brilliant Harrier Jump jet - No Harrier has every been shot down in air-to air combat. Amazing plane. Then we were reminded at the end of the prog how Dave and his chums sold all the UK Harriers off for peanuts to the USA - who intend to keep using them till at least 2020. So don't blame the lefties for not making a fuss over the Strategic Defence Review - put the blame were it firmly belongs - Davide Cameron and co. They are the real culprits here. Some might even call what they did - trecherous.

No Gloster Javelin was ever shot down in air to air combat either.
It also had the rather amazing feat for a jet interceptor designed in the 50's and serving into the 60's of actually having a slower rate of climb than a WWII Spitfire.

Clearly, we should bring back the Gloster Javelin too.

**eodmatt** · 19-06-2012, 22:08

Originally Posted by Iolis

I would have thought that with the impending disappearance of the Army in its current form into the pages of history and the creation the Land Service Agency of UK Defence Forces plc to replace it, that there would have been a little more analysis.

Perhaps the more artistic among the Arrsers might like to design a new corporate logo for it?

More appropriate.

**mcflurry** · 19-06-2012, 22:56

Originally Posted by King_of_the_Burpas

Indeed. I'm amazed Littlejohn (salary £1m pa) gets away with it. All this stuff about land locked Admirals and stuffed shirts behind desks was printed in full in P Eye over a year ago.

He's a gobshite of magnificent proportions. His catchphrase is "you couldn't make it up". Well he has done on many occasions; nicking other hacks work and publishing it in his own spectacularly appalling column.

He describes himself as "an English author, broadcaster, journalist and satirist". He forgot to add the word "bellend" to his list of achievements.

It's a crying shame, I think his aptitude for being a bellend outstrips his ability as a 'journalist' any day. Surely one of his editors must have told him that 'elf and safety' has never, ever been funny. Ever. Neither has 'yumin rites'. Both make him sound like more of a mong than he already is.

**mcflurry** · 19-06-2012, 23:01

Originally Posted by mac1

maybe the latter's because of the former?

Most of the shite he publishes on 'yumin rites' and health and safety is bollocks, and could be verified as such with a quick Google search.

**King_of_the_Burpas** · 19-06-2012, 23:12

Originally Posted by mcflurry

Most of the shite he publishes on 'yumin rites' and health and safety is bollocks, and could be verified as such with a quick Google search.

Indeed.

Mr "You couldn't make it up" has an Achilles heel. He rose through the ranks at the Sun under Kelvin's patronage. Columnists are often picked for their ability to tune into the core buyers of the paper. In Littlejohn's case it was White Van Man. So he churned out endless elf and safety, darkies, gyppoes, loony lefty stuff, because it sold newspapers.

Dacre took him on board because he thought the Mail was getting a bit too entrenched in the 'middle class woman' market and he wanted a new raft of readers. What better way to attract them than to hire a male bellend with a megaphone?

I used to see him a lot in the pubs in Highgate and Hampstead, lashed out of his chariot with a bunch of sycophantic 'working class' mates, singing the sash and sneering at the posh locals. He was already a millionaire, so the sneering stuck in my craw a bit.

He has his cake and eats it too.

Typical column:

"Blimey! Those desk jockeys in the MoD are letting our brave heroes down a bit. While our brave lads are sticking it to the Taliban, they're at the next table to me at the Ivy, roystering it up and spilling my pint. You couldn't make it up!"