ARmy Rumour SErvice

**Steven** · 11-06-2008, 12:24

Originally Posted by Bandalong

Fry up some garlic and fresh chilies, and then toss it into some spaghetti pasta with a drop of virgin olive oil.

.

If you can successfully do this post pub then you need to return to the pub as you obviously haven't had nearly enough to drink.

When you return then try a Smash sandwich.

Tear open packet of instant mashed spuds, ignore powder that goes on table/floor/chairs etc and pour whats left in a container, any sort will do, cup/pan/cats bowl.

Boil kettle.

Deep breath and concentrate as this next bit can be painful.

Pour hot water on to spud powder, not hands or gonads, and mix. If you have a fork then use that but again it doesn't matter what you mix it with.

Butter some bread.

Put mashed spuds on to buttered bread.

Now you can open the cupboard and indulge yourself with the sauces and salt/pepper etc. HP sauce with tobasco and ketchup. Olive oil with blackpepper and cornflakes (oops) whatever you fancy.

Eat.

**northern_warrior** · 11-06-2008, 21:22

Originally Posted by dragknuckle

It's got to be the egg banjo, the king of foods

Absolutely. No question. The only problem is: You can't fucking stop once you have had one!!!

The first one you are so eager to get into your grinner that you are doing that ....take a bite " huffffa , hufffffa......fufff me fufffin redderfff vifff bafftard".........Finish first banjo, belch and sit down with another can. Then you think.....Mmmmm could just nail another of them buggers!!

The cycle then starts again.

Continued until you have done half a dozen eggs in and start to feel like dog toffee!! :D

Originally Posted by gracie

Oh no... you have no idea the hours I have spent up to my elbows in soapy water trying to scrub welded on egg from fryingpans the morning after nights like this!!!!

Never heard of teflon love............... :D

**putteesinmyhands** · 11-06-2008, 21:52

Empty a tin of tomato soup into a pint glass. Nuke on full power for 2 minutes. Go for a jimmy. Nuke soup again for 30 seconds.

Remove from microwave using tea towel to prevent burned hands.

Add a knob of butter.

Pour half a loaf of sliced bread onto worktop and fold each slice in half.

Dip each slice into soup, passing through melted butter, and eat.

The trick with the butter saves you hamfistedly trying to spread butter that has come straight out of the fridge.

**sandmanfez** · 12-06-2008, 01:19

Faggots!

Preparation time 1-2 hours

Cooking time 30 mins to 1 hour

Ingredients
25g/1oz unsalted butter
1 medium onion, peeled and finely chopped
175g/6oz minced pigs' liver
2 lamb or pigs' heart, trimmed and cut into chunks
450g/1lb belly of pork, trimmed and rind removed
½ tsp mace
4tbsp freshly chopped chives
1 tsp freshly chopped sage
1 egg, beaten
salt and freshly ground pepper
115g/4oz fresh white bread crumbs
25g/1oz beef dripping or 3 tbsp olive oil

For the gravy
4 red onions, peeled and each onion cut into 8 wedges
4 sprigs of fresh thyme
1 tbsp olive oil
900ml/1½pt fresh beef stock
290ml/½ pint red wine
salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method
1. Melt the butter in a small saucepan and add the onions. Cook until soft and transparent. Cool slightly
2. Place the belly pork onto a chopping board and cut into portions.
3. Place the minced pigs' liver into a large glass bowl and place under the blade of a mincer. Using a fine blade of a mincer, mince the pork belly and lambs heart directly into the bowl with the pig s liver. If you do not have a mincer at home ask your butcher to mince all your meat for you.
4. Add the cooled chopped onions, mace, chives, sage, beaten egg and salt and pepper. Stir in the breadcrumbs.
5. Using your hands shape the mixture into 12 patties. Place on a plate and chill for about 1 hour.
6. Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6. 7. For the gravy: place the onion wedges into a large roasting pan or ovenproof dish. Add the thyme and drizzle over the olive oil. Place in the oven and roast uncovered for 40 minutes until the onions are caramelised.
8. Meanwhile heat the dripping or olive oil in a large frying pan. Fry the faggots until golden brown on both sides.
9. Place the stock and wine in a small saucepan, bring to the boil and reduce by a third.
10. Remove the roasted onions from the oven and lay the faggots on top. Pour over the gravy liqueur. Reduce the oven temperature to 180C/350F/Gas 4 and cook the faggots for 40 minutes.
11. Place two to three faggots onto a plate. Top with a spoonful of the onions and pour over the gravy. Serve the faggots with mashed potatoes and green vegetables.