We've all been there - Hungry after a night on the lash, missed the kebab shop and the all night garage was closed for refuelling. You're extremely peckish but you're too trollied to work the cooker; but the primeval instinct to feast on bloody steak and chunky chips is preventing you from collasping into an alcohol-induced coma. So what to do?

A bit of a surprise this one - as the idea came from the missus.

Anyway, after coming in from a top table lunch and the five hours of drinking that followed, I was naturally peckish to say the least. I was approaching that "give us the most expensive kebab you do" stage, but living in a quaint little town where everything closes at 1730hrs, I was forced with the idea of cooking for myself (or asking the missus).

Anyway, she suggested opening a bag of Jalapeno Fire Doritos, layered onto a plate with a layer of grated Seriously Strong, followed by a second layer of Doritos, followed by a final dusting of cheese. Microwave for 45 seconds on full power and enjoy.

My God! The only negative thing I can say about this cheeky little pick-me-up is that it can NOT be used as a substitute for my main meal. Apparently.

So anyway - do any of you ARRSers have any quality drunken delights to share?

She learnt that midnight snack from me.


And that little trick she does with her Tongue.

Originally Posted by PrinceAlbert

She learnt that midnight snack from me.


And that little trick she does with her Tongue.

We are not interested in your cat PA

One of my mates once came in drunk and, horrified at the thought of having to cook for himself, ate a three day old kebab which he found in his bin.

Needless to say the daft cunt ended up rather ill. Probably not quite the culinary delight he had in mind but i believe he enjoyed it at the time.

Couple of Pakco Curried Chilis with the Doritos and cheese also work well.

Can of corned beef, sliced thick, on toast with cheese, curried chilis and Tabasco does the trick.

Cheapo tin of supermarket tuna or two or three, mix in bowl with chilli sauce, toast some ordinary bread/pitta and add almost literally anything else. Pile on a plate or inside the toast/pitta if you can be bothered/can see straight enough to do that. Usually eaten standing up, slightly swaying, radio on and a drink of water I'll often forget to drink and wish later I had...or wake up thinking about!

Originally Posted by Lardbeast

Couple of Pakco Curried Chilis with the Doritos and cheese also work well.

Can of corned beef, sliced thick, on toast with cheese, curried chilis and Tabasco does the trick.

Sounds great, but faffing around opening a can of Corned Beef when your shredders is not recommended!

Open can or bottle of Guinness. Pour half into pot and heat but don't boil. Drink the rest as you

1. Make toast.
2. As toast is making grate the aforesaid Cheddar Seriously Strong.
3. Add a pinch of Mustard Powder (English).
4. Stir together.
5. Add a pinch of your Guinness to mositen.
6. Spread on toast and grill until bubbly brown.

Pour over hot Guinness as a sauce.

Enjoy.

I think this is an RGJ recipe.

Cornedbeef fried or microwaved till a bit squishey, cold baked beans, picalilly on thick bread (barm cake if you live where you can get the food of the gods). Good soakerupper with the added benafit of great farts to keep your legs warm on cold nights.

Originally Posted by slipperman

Sounds great, but faffing around opening a can of Corned Beef when your shredders is not recommended!

No worries. PPPPPPP! Open a can or two before heading for the piss up and leave in a saucer in the fridge. If nothing else, you can chuck Tabasco on it and stand there with it in your hand like an ice cream wafer taking huge bites between swigs of water.