What was your Tour SH*G

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The_Big_Floater, Jan 23, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Dutch Nurse Sipovo, Dutch nurse 2 Sipovo, Dutch Nurse Seargant spit roast sipovo. Medic bird SHATT hotel treatment room, Different medic bird dental centre, Awarded brown wings in the showers behind the boiler,

    Handjob Shaibah Hospital prior to casevac to UK,

    I may have come across Dolly some time, no pun intended,

    Was there when the nurse vice ring was busted, very dissapointed as I had just saved up.
  2. Ah, the old 'time' excuse! Nothing to do with you being a pie-eyed, pasty Jock then? :wink:
  3. Haha, i know if you saw me Wedge you would be all over me like a tramp on hot sick ;)
  4. workshop secretary while i was in HongKong, pure quality that was. almost to the point where i wish it had continued when we went home. mind you, her husband might have had something to say about it :D
  5. Hmmm Berlin 93 I was staying with a mate and his missus short story short boned the bint while he was unconc...uncon...passed out :D

    Spr G**** L***

    Sorry mate :oops: but twas worth it :twisted:
  6. Bosnia 96 - one day I was approached by the RMP, who asked me if I had slept with a certain lady officer of equivalent rank. I cautiously asked why? They explained that I was fire-proof but an allegation of lesbianism had been made - falsely as it turned out - against her and another lady officer. Apparently she had admitted to sleeping with me during a visit to HQ ARRC as a defence contra lesbianism.

    That gentlemen, is probably the first and only time that a lady has admitted sleeping with me to save her reputation...
  7. I had an unfathomably shocking couple of hours with a frog from RSF in a dimly lit room with it's A/C on the blink in Kabul, I stunk, had been on the go for 2 days and was halfway through a bottle of Black Label with my oppo zonked across from me when she started asking about the route out up to Baghlan. We got shamelessly drunk, f*cked, showered, ate, f*cked and then slept for an hour. I bussed out the next morning and met her again in London that Christmas and pretended to like her again for a weekend.

    French girls like to kiss whilst screwing, it made it nicer, and they dont swear as much as British girls, they tend to 'breathe' French words into your neck :D :D

    I also watched one spawny c*nt of an ex TA blade in 2007 climb the stairs to his room after a few drinks with a woman as well known to you and me as f*cking cornflakes..
  8. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    It could be that she just slept with you as cover for her real inclinations. What you thought were moans of ecstacy were whimpers of disgust
  9. GRANBY.
    Mid-Air-raid...with the Yanks - MOPP-Level-Four...
  10. Lisinia East 97, two bits of warm Turkey and a strong elastic band!

    Wait for it......

  11. and previously

    Local Beauty
    Air Raid Warning Red
  12. Fronting the greater of two evils is always the way forward...

  13. You can't say that and not spill the beans?
  14. Chief range officers secretary, Sennelager ranges. Black haired good looking German girl who spoke perfect English. Had her own apartment in Paderborn, where I gave her a good hosing down all day (and night) one Saturday. Mid afternoon there was a knock at the door. A German copper on the doorstep told me my car, which was parked outside, had been hit by a drunk bird driving a BMW. With typical German police thoroughness they arrested the bird at home and handed me a file of the details for my insurance claim a week later. Copper eyed me up and down and said haf a gut veekend, before buggering off. I went back to spearing the bird upthe bum and didnt have time to look at my car until the next day.
  15. FI - 6 monther...

    I was the Head Steamer and she was a Newbie in town and a higher rank..

    Every night, every position, every location...

    I was happy to get back alive...