It is three o'clock in the morning, and you have just come off stag. It is snowing and you are freezing and knackered. You get into your gonk bag and try to zip it up, but it gets stuck half way. You know you should try and free the zip, but a small voice in your head says, "You don't need to do up the zip! You will be quite warm enough. Just go to sleep!" This is the Emperor Mong speaking, one of the strongest and cruellest rulers in the universe. Needless to say, twenty minutes after you go to sleep you wake up freezing cold, and can't sleep for the rest of the night. Over the years, The Emperor's pronouncements have made me make some of the most mongy decisions known to man: the worst has to be the time I went on a five day exped with no gas for my cooker, as he told me there would be loads of places to buy it (there wasn't, and I ate cold compo). So, lets have it- what has The Emperor (and his pet Crow 'Mode') made you do?