Surrounded by zombies - what next?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Tartan_Terrier, Mar 28, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I've been spending too much time watching zombie films recently, and got thinking about the subject. In the impossible event of a zombie apocalypse, there would be loads of people who'd barricade themselves in somewhere (either at home, or somewhere a bit more zombie-proof).

    So you're in there surrounded by hordes of zombies, you've got a limited amount of food and water, you may have something to defend yourself with, but you haven't got entire contents of your unit armoury/a tank/explosives/any nuclear weapons.

    What do you do next?

    If you don't get rescued, at some point you're going to start running out of food/water, or the zombies are going to find a way in.....

    So the end is coming, but you've still got options. Do you?

    A/ Starve to death while waiting in vain for rescue?

    B/ Wait till the last possible minute before starving to death or being eaten, then blow your head off?

    C/ Wait till the last possible minute, before attacking the zombies and taking a few of them with you when you die?

    D/ Think "If you can't beat them, join them" and slit your wrists, thereby dying and coming back as a zombie?

    E/ Think "Fuck it, I've got no chance" and blow your own head off?

    F/ Attempt to disguise yourself as a zombie, before having your wicked way with as much zombie tottie as possible before being eaten?


    Terminal Lance - Terminal Lance #132 “Necropocalypse Part 1″
    • Like Like x 4
  2. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    One thing that has puzzled me since watching "The Walking Dead" is that do zombies ever need to have a shit?...I mean they eat all them brains & stuff so what happens when they eat too much? they explode or do they go for a good sh1te?...
    • Like Like x 4
  3. I think you'll find they've all shat themselves, that's why they walk with their legs straight and only take small steps.
    • Like Like x 11
  4. They Explode.

    It says so in the Zombie Survival Guide.
  5. Good question! I've yet to see any zombies on the bog, I do like the idea of them exploding like Mr. Creosote on Monty Python's Meaning of Life though.
  6. Slitting your wrists won't make you come back as a zombie. You'll only come back as a zombie if a zombie bites you.

    Holing up is no good. I've pondered this quite a bit (I fucking love zombie stuff).

    A boat. Follow the coast. Find island. Bob's your uncle. Ensure the island isn't like the one at the end of the 2004 Dawn of the Dead.

    I've selected the island of Rona; it has it's own small hydro, loads of seafood, dear to hunt etc.

    If you're there when I arrive I'll shoot you.
    • Like Like x 6
  7. It depends on the zombie film, in some anyone who dies of any cause, and doesn't have their brain destroyed, comes back......

    As to the whole coastal/island thing, you haven't read World War Z have you?
    • Like Like x 1
  8. I'd shoot you and make a dash for it whilst they were eating you.
  9. Not sure I could muster the wood to jump a zombie bird. She is, essentially a corpse.

    Attached Files:

  10. What about Thriller Zombies.... Moonwalk out of there?
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Surely it won't be too expensive under the circumstances....

    Sorry, I had nothing better to do.

  12. That looks like the thing they found in Barrymores swimming pool.
    • Like Like x 4
  13. 'Spose it depends what kind of zombies we're talking about...

    If it's the virus-infected kind from 28-days later, all you need to do is survive long enough for them all to die of starvation themselves, or be so weakened that even Ironside could outrun them on foot.

    If it's the evil possessed un-dead kind, you're probably fucked. I'd do as much fun stuff as possible, than bloo mi' brains ooot.

    Either that, or I'd just hang out in Andover - the undead would have hard time discriminating prey from fellow zombie.

  14. 5595251135_af12df9bfa.jpg

    Are you sure?
  15. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    You've done worse....