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Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JustLoitering, Nov 18, 2008.
Now this is thinking with your head. Instant roadside memorial.
Problem is, though, it has gotten well out of hand, especially in Liverpool. Not one week after Boris Johnson famously got forced to apologise for describing Liverpudlians as being hooked on grief, what do we get but this:
Dead chicken mourned by moron chavs
A restaurant had got a batch of free range eggs in, and had found one was a bit more free range than they wanted; there was a part-formed chick in it. So they slung it out with the rubbish, then some buffoon happened to see this dead chick in a bin-bag, reported it, word got around and hey presto, all aboard the Chav Grief Express!
Cue local florists giggling with glee as local idiots bought floral tributes for this supposed dead baby. The police finally issued a series of extremely pointed statements about the matter, to try to stem the flood of wilted garden waste...
That reminds of the joke about the Echo in the 80s.
The Horoscope page:
Aquarius: This week you will have money worries.
Pisces: This week you will have money worries.
Aries: This week you will have money worries.
You get the picture...
That's the funniest thing I've read for a while. Made all the more funnier when you think about how a scouse grief monkey would pronounce the word 'Chicken'.
There's times I would like to do that to a "shrine" near me. it's for some local scumbag pikey, who drunk in a car with no tax, insurance etc. Wrote himself off, while he was waiting to come up in court for the death of a kid, who he run over on a crossing.
Trouble is his no good family are still in the area & I don't have a death wish.
I may be wrong on this one, but maybe the spelling was correct and their dearly departed was bent??
You insensitive barsteward
Too right. A few years ago we had two girls killed by a train when they were playing on a railway bridge (in full view of their parents, who did nothing to stop them). For weeks afterwards, dozy cnuts were trespassing on the same bridge to place flowers and teddies, thereby increasing the likelihood of this happening again by several orders of magnitude! Per Way gangers were perpetually having to remove these shrines, as they only encouraged more f-wits to add to them and some of the boys were even abused and threatened when they went to remove them, FFS.
And that post, my friend, has made I chuckle... lots.
It has also given me the the idea of comedy roadside tributes for cats, hedgehogs, rabbits and pheasants - unless it's already been done?
In my area recently a young child was killed getting off the school bus and crossing the road at a particularly dangerous spot on a very busy road. The mother put up a roadside shrine and the police made her take it down as it was making a dangerous spot even more dangerous by distracting motorists! The fecking lunatic put it all back saying it was her right to mourn her little treasure in any way she chose and she wanted the shrine at the spot she was killed. Some bright spark pointed out she was killed in the middle of the road but I doubt it impressed her!
On a road outside our town, there's a memorial in the form of a permanent headstone....WTF?
Mind you, Mrs Gashhand came home one day,saying she had just seen the saddest thing ever. A woman, holding a baby, was kneeling on a spot by the side of the road crying her eyes out. Reason being, a few days beforehand, a daft cnut had been overtaking on the wrongside and taken out her other half.
That was a few years ago, and no memorial was ever put up. Can't help but think about it when i pass by there,tho'.
Ha ha Brilliant!
"YOU'LL NEVER SQAWK ALONE!"
His name was Webb and yes there is a cross for him although its slightly fallen on its side. I remember all of his friends pretending what a great guy he was, in fact it was rather similar to the lovable rogue comments from chav families. If he wasn't such a knob when he was drunk he would still be alive and more importantly Sammy's would still be open.
I would suggest petrol bombing (large stationary targets/close to the road/made of flammable materials) but around here, it would just start grass fires, thus causing more crashes, even if you didn't get killed by trying to light/throw/drive simultaneously.
What about 3 man Shrine Prevention Patrols? One driver, one navigator, one bomber?
Similar to those eejits who jump in front of trains, a few years back we had a spate of loons jumping from motorway bridges in front of trucks.
One of our drivers arrived at his destination, backed onto the unloading dock, and was just climbing onto the catwalk to disconnect susies. He found the headless remains of a jumper that had mistimed things and landed between cab and trailer, before the next bridge finished the job neatly.
A couple of weeks later the same driver's missus, also a trucker, hit a jumper at full speed. She called plod, who asked if the jumper was dead. Mrs X pointed out that as his skull was smeared over 6 offside tyres, she didn't think he'd get well soon.