If your thinking of retiring to ethiopia

Discussion in 'Living Overseas' started by jph369, Dec 9, 2010.

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  1. jph369
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    jph369 Swinger

    Ethiopia
    Basic requirements
    (a) A good dagger man preferably armed with an AK47 which are readily available and relatively cheap but the ammo is expensive so restrict him to five rounds a day.
    (b) A couple of good dogs, local mongrels are the best choice as once you’ve fed them they are a friend for life and will disembowel any potential intruder at a click of the fingers.
    (c) Seven rolls of razor wire, sufficient for a five hundred square meter compound, be very careful when purchasing as some of the cheap Chinese stuff just falls to pieces in a high wind. South African razor wire is usually pretty good and preferably ungalvanised as once rusted it inflicts a really vicious cut that fails to heal.
    (d) A 5 kva generator is essential as the local electricity supply is erratic at best and non existent at worst.
    (e) City water supply depends on hydro electricity so be prepared for limited washing although bottled water is imported on an industrial scale but it is subject to price fluctuation in the dry season.
    (f) St Georges draught Local beer is very good, using spring water and due to dedicated breweries interested in a high profit margin is always available even through long periods of drought.
    (g) Shortages of just about everything are the norm so hording is recommended
    (h) Local food is very cheap and highly spiced be very careful to purchase meat from a reputable butcher unless you like hyena. This is easily detected by the amount of fuel required to cook it and has a cross ply texture, it is quite tasteless and very akin to eating the soles of old ammunition boots.
    (i) Avoid the raw meat delicacies which are a rich source of tape worm
    (j) Avoid NGO's and UN personnel for whom this country is a client state that they have held in serfdom for the past forty years under the guise of aid assistance that has successfully been converted to aid dependency thus perpetuating their presence. Ethiopia now boasts the highest number of top of the range four wheel drive SUV's in the world owned by the UN and dedicated to the comfort of their employees.
    (k) The plethora of hand wringing bible punching latter day evangelists should be given short shrift unless you are of an ecclesiastical bent and intent on lining your pocket in the name of JC
    (l) Women of the night are very comely and readily available however most come with the HIV /AIDS baggage along with Leprosy and or Tuberculosis and all the good old sexually transmittable diseases that tend to be ignored with the advent of AIDS with its high cost pharmaceutical tag. Not much money to be made in old germs.
    (m) All the land in the country belongs to the government but you can lease it for 99 years and simple arithmetic tells you that a 65 year old retiree is not likely to live until 164 years of age.
    (n) The Ethiopian Birr currency is totally non negotiable outside the country so whatever you take in remains there.
    (m) Addis Ababa is situated at 6500 to 7000ft above sea level and the altitude takes its toll on the respiration system so if you are hauling an oxygen cylinder around with you, strike this place off the list.
    (o) If the altitude does not get you the air pollution certainly will as a great deal of the older diesel engined trucks and buses on the road have poorly adjusted fuel pumps thus emit clouds of thick black exhaust fumes full of those nasty PCB's and wandering transients.
    (p) The current airfare London to Addis Ababa return economy class is about 500 GBP
    (q) Beggars abound and some of the malformations are quite unique having been inflicted for professional purposes.
    ® Every disease known to man exists here and all the flora and fauna either scratches, irritates, bites or kills you. Eventually
    Other than these few pitfalls its Africa and lots of people still live there
     
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  2. two-four-albert
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    two-four-albert War Hero

    I am living in Addis right now and can agree :smile:
     
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  3. bumhole
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    bumhole LE

    Funny you should post this. I was offered a job in Port Moresby PNG last last year. I declined and they increased the offer. Its now quite a lot of money, but its not FIFO - its relocate with my wife.

    I have worked there before, in the late 80s, but now its a lot worse. Local raskols carry AK47s, and are high on drugs so they don't care about using them. Raskol membership is gained via a macho code, where rape gets you junior membership, murder gets you full membership. One third of all women have now been raped.

    A friend got up one morning and noticed 3 hacked up corpses on his front lawn. No one showed much interest.

    Car jackings are a traffic hazard. You just don't stop at traffic lights. Ever.

    You live in compounds, each house had a safe room, usually with internal bars. The Raskols know this and set fire to the house. you burn to death or get murdered on the lawn.

    Dogs aren't much use. The Raskols throw over poisoned meat and kill them.

    Fighting back is fatal. Its all tribal, offending one tribe results in a full on war that escalates rapidly.

    And the police are from tribes, so they don't want to get involve.

    Having said all of that its quite a lot of money, and I am back to thinking maybe its worth doing.
     
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  4. beefer
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    beefer LE

    Go for it! Just think of the cracking funeral you'll be able to afford.
     
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  5. two-four-albert
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    two-four-albert War Hero

    Quite a distance from Addis Ababa though ??
     
  6. longtimeout
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    longtimeout Old-Salt

    Yeah, but the locals are quite dusky, don't you know?

    I get the impression that makes it the same in Bumholes view.
     
  7. two-four-albert
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    two-four-albert War Hero

    " Then there was this dusky little girl in Bangkok, real crossways breezer" .....
     
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  8. There I was thinking of spending those cold winters in Asia when I retire.
    This holiday review has totally changed my mind and I'll now be making a wattle and daub hut, many thanks.
     
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  9. clayp1g
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    clayp1g Old-Salt

    I did see Paula Radcliffe when I worked in Addis for a short time.
     
  10. samain11
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    samain11 LE

    Won't need to go that far to find third world conditions, Spain and Greece are well on the way.
     
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  11. loopintheP
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    loopintheP War Hero

    .....pooing in the street wih the rest of 'em?
     
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  12. thegimp
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    thegimp LE

    Any where in the worlds shit holes i work makes me wonder why people drip like **** about the state of the UK.
     
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  13. BuckFelize
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    BuckFelize LE

    I wouldn't laugh too loud. It sounds like the UK circa 2050... or sooner.
     
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  14. Crepello
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    Crepello LE

    Mainly because those moaning people haven't been over there to see howq shit it is.

    Travel broadens the mind and makes one appreciate what one has at home.
     
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  15. Bus Pass 01
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    Bus Pass 01 Old-Salt

    Yep - all this sounds like Ed's promised land