Decide in a split second if I don't run upstairs to the bathroom, do a commando roll sprint back down to the living room and crash into a plant pot the world might end. Perform said task faster than Captain Kirk when he's late for work then kick one of my back legs up and dhobi my hoop.
Follow my human and the big retarded cat with the waggy tail when they leave the house twice per day in order to be taken back to the house and bribed with ham to stay.
Climb in the loft and be written off as dead for 36 hours. The meow like feck, be rescued, come down covered in itchy loft stuff and get straight on my humans bed... To dhobi my hoop.
Catch a frog and keep it alive long enough so that my human can hear it's screams.
Go out one night and never come back.