ARRSE, The 1939-45 Version. No Spivs Allowed.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sfub, Feb 9, 2010.

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  1. blue-sophist

    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    * Is one actually allowed to call it the "Black Market"?

    * Will the Chinese declare war on Russia?

    * Singapore is impregnable - Huzzah!
  2. Best torch.

    Who knows what the best torch is for these damned blackouts (can I say that)
  3. seaweed

    seaweed LE Book Reviewer

    There I was, sat on a beach in Norway, waiting for the Royal Navy to rescue me .. or

    There I was, sat on a beach at Dunkirk, waiting for the Royal Navy to rescue me .. or

    There I was, sat on a beach in Crete, waiting for the Royal Navy to rescue me .. or

    .. when we arrived on the beach, there was this sailor chappie with a walking stick telling us where to go ..
  4. Oi wot do you lot fink I am? Chuck in a bar of Bournville and job done!
  5. msr's writing down on oil paper or similar all the things an Officer just knows by instinct.
  6. Ignore this uncouth fellow my dear. Ahem..I'll throw in a bottle of leg tan as well, for normal special occasions. :p
  7. Some rough chap just called me a faeces bonnet!

    Clearly not a gentleman he had actually been running in uniform and was sweating like a Chindit on an arithmetical proficiency examination.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Grab your duffel coat, you've pulled!
  9. Sending parcel to Libya, should I include Lifebuoy or Imperial Leather?
  10. you have expensive tastes
  11. Officer Recruiting Thread.

    Q. I'm 18, went to Eton, mucked around a bit then went to Oxford, but got sent down. No qualifications, but know a bit about Eastern languages thanks to an illicit liaison with my Father's Moroccan houseboy.

    Oh, and I know how to use a sextant rather well because I had an affair with a STRAPPING Matelot I met in Soho. Don't suppose there's a chance for me in the Army is there?

    A. Ssssshhh. Would you drop round for a sherry at 127 Picadilly tomorrow? We've an idea about this thing called "Special Forces" or similar. Might help if you could buy a Colonel's uniform in your size on your way & think about a design for a capbadge. Training? Don't be silly, sure you have the right stuff.

    Q. Ex Marlborough man, played a bit of Rugger. Can I get in?

    A. If you report to the Artists' OCTU they'll give you a week or so on the safe end of a Webley. Would one prefer Cavalry or Infantry of the line?

    Q. I went to a Grammar School in the North of England, where I achieved a high pass in my School Cert and Captained the Soccer team. I went on to a Provincial University where I gained first class honours. Where should I report?

    A. The recruiting office like everyone else, you terrible oik. Door marked "King's Own Cannon Fodder".
  12. Sell your London property now.

    By the time the Germans have finished with the City, it will be worthless rubble.
  13. blue-sophist

    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    * London isn't safe - I'm moving to Coventry.
    • Like Like x 1

    Im thinking of becoming Jewish, is this a good move?

    Yours sincerely

    Bignose from Belson
  15. That's liquid gold in 1940 and will cost you this much..or a compromise.