ARRSE, The 1939-45 Version. No Spivs Allowed.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sfub, Feb 9, 2010.

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  1. blue-sophist
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    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    * Is one actually allowed to call it the "Black Market"?

    * Will the Chinese declare war on Russia?

    * Singapore is impregnable - Huzzah!
     
  2. johnboyzzz
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    johnboyzzz LE

    Best torch.

    Who knows what the best torch is for these damned blackouts (can I say that)
     
  3. seaweed
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    seaweed LE Book Reviewer

    There I was, sat on a beach in Norway, waiting for the Royal Navy to rescue me .. or

    There I was, sat on a beach at Dunkirk, waiting for the Royal Navy to rescue me .. or

    There I was, sat on a beach in Crete, waiting for the Royal Navy to rescue me .. or


    .. when we arrived on the beach, there was this sailor chappie with a walking stick telling us where to go ..
     
  4. Oi wot do you lot fink I am? Chuck in a bar of Bournville and job done!
     
  5. CaptainPlume
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    CaptainPlume LE

    msr's writing down on oil paper or similar all the things an Officer just knows by instinct.
     
  6. Monty417
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    Monty417 LE

    Ignore this uncouth fellow my dear. Ahem..I'll throw in a bottle of leg tan as well, for normal special occasions. :p
     
  7. ScouseD
    Online

    ScouseD LE

    Some rough chap just called me a faeces bonnet!

    Clearly not a gentleman he had actually been running in uniform and was sweating like a Chindit on an arithmetical proficiency examination.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Grab your duffel coat, you've pulled!
     
  9. Sending parcel to Libya, should I include Lifebuoy or Imperial Leather?
     
  10. johnboyzzz
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    johnboyzzz LE

    you have expensive tastes
     
  11. CaptainPlume
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    CaptainPlume LE

    Officer Recruiting Thread.

    Q. I'm 18, went to Eton, mucked around a bit then went to Oxford, but got sent down. No qualifications, but know a bit about Eastern languages thanks to an illicit liaison with my Father's Moroccan houseboy.

    Oh, and I know how to use a sextant rather well because I had an affair with a STRAPPING Matelot I met in Soho. Don't suppose there's a chance for me in the Army is there?

    A. Ssssshhh. Would you drop round for a sherry at 127 Picadilly tomorrow? We've an idea about this thing called "Special Forces" or similar. Might help if you could buy a Colonel's uniform in your size on your way & think about a design for a capbadge. Training? Don't be silly, sure you have the right stuff.

    Q. Ex Marlborough man, played a bit of Rugger. Can I get in?

    A. If you report to the Artists' OCTU they'll give you a week or so on the safe end of a Webley. Would one prefer Cavalry or Infantry of the line?

    Q. I went to a Grammar School in the North of England, where I achieved a high pass in my School Cert and Captained the Soccer team. I went on to a Provincial University where I gained first class honours. Where should I report?

    A. The recruiting office like everyone else, you terrible oik. Door marked "King's Own Cannon Fodder".
     
  12. Litotes
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    Litotes LE

    Sell your London property now.

    By the time the Germans have finished with the City, it will be worthless rubble.
     
  13. blue-sophist
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    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    * London isn't safe - I'm moving to Coventry.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Gren
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    Gren LE

    ARE YOU RELIGIOUS?

    Im thinking of becoming Jewish, is this a good move?


    Yours sincerely

    Bignose from Belson
     
  15. Monty417
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    Monty417 LE

    That's liquid gold in 1940 and will cost you this much..or a compromise.
    [​IMG]