Army Training Films

Discussion in 'Old & Bold' started by Provost, Aug 22, 2012.

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  1. Provost
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    Provost LE

    Do they still do them or is it all Computer Based Training and distance learning packages now?

    I remember sleeping through dozens of Army Kinematograph Service or Crown Film Unit training films. They were usually delivered in a remote training area to a hut full of hungry, dirty, damp and steaming and thoroughly pissed off soldiery who had not slept at all during the previous 72 hours.

    The films nearly all seemed to have been made sometime during the National Service era, the theory probably being that they had cost £20 to produce and that the army was jolly well going to get full value for money out of them. The military participants were usually painfully underfed specimens with missing teeth and teddy boy haircuts. They were often wearing BD or OG combats and turtle shell steel helmets. The vehicles were up-to-date-in-the-50s shiny green Austin Champs, Bedford RLs and Centurion MBTs.

    I think that many of them were filmed in b&w or in the sort of colour that makes you think that they were in b&w and all seemed to be narrated by people with Mr Chomondeley-Warner voices, or else Patrick bloody Allen. It was sometimes
    difficult to follow the narrative (even on the few occasions when you weren't slumped at the back, snoring loudly) because the soundtrack popped, crackled and jumped like a bowl of spastic Rice Krispies. The laughter and ribald comments from the assembled audience also disguised much of what was being said.

    The more serious the subject, the more threatening the tympani beat playing on the background soundtrack.

    They covered all known military subjects, from battlefield comms, cam and concealment, to field hygiene or venereal disease.

    The only title I remember is, "Protect and Survive" which covered NBC (CBRN) during which Mr Cholmondeley-Warner informed us that we would remain fit to fight so long as we remembered to fall to the ground, roll ourselves into a ball, stick
    our fingers in our ears and screw our eyes tight shut when the Soviets unleashed nuclear armageddon. The kind of advice that only a very junior officer could take seriously.

    Anyone else remember sleeping through these?
  2. Bigcsm22
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    Bigcsm22 Old-Salt

    Driver trg vids.. "nasty business that is".
    Better than a Peter Kay series.
  3. King-walt
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    King-walt War Hero

    Hence why training is more "hands on", stops you from losing interest :)

    Its like sex, do you learn more from reading about it or actually doing it?
  4. T24D
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    T24D Clanker

    Anyone remember:

    'You bloody idiot Spicer, you're still transmitting!!'

    as if....
  5. Rodney2q
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    Rodney2q LE

    They were great for putting you to sleep in a darkened camp cinema or classroom. At Bassingbourne we would take weapons into the cinema so we could go straight onto the next lesson without a detour via the armoury.

    Woe betide you if you fell asleep and dropped your SLR...

    Of course, you sat down and propped the rifle against your shoulder, with the muzzle tucked under the epaulette on your jacket. It couldn't fall over or be dropped if you fell asleep.

    IIRC the worst films were those showing the operation of the GPMG, SLR etc. Dull monotone narration and crappy animated diagrams...

    Rodney2q
  6. "Cold water Casualty" from pjt before joining my first ship. Amazingly it was shown as part of my RYA Coastal skippers course.

    PBS
  7. Rodney2q
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    Rodney2q LE

  8. Provost
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    Provost LE

    That one certainly rings a bell. Was it the one dealing with COMSEC?
  9. Rodney2q
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    Rodney2q LE

  10. King-walt
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    King-walt War Hero

    I remember the first LOAC film we were shown at phase 1 @ my local barracks (mind you being TA!) and in 2003, the fellows in the film were carrying SLRs!
  11. 4(T)
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    4(T) LE

    My favourite was the one demonstrating the immediate action drills when hit by a nuclear bast:

    The actors were infantry in battledress, turtle helmets and armed with Lee Enfield No4s (hence it must have been 1950s). They are stood in their 4' stage one slit trenches when the big white flash happens. After doing the IA drills (drop to bottom of trench, hands under body/over goolies, etc) comes the best bit: they stand up, brush the debris (and nuclear fallout dust) off their weapons and stand-to ready for the red hordes - all set to tinny up-beat regimental music....
  12. Provost
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    Provost LE

    • Like Like x 2
  13. I remember the "RAF! Stop! Stand Still!" one, complete with barrier and a comedy Irishman in a Ford Cortina.

    When the RAF chap gets the - let's call him Martin - to open the bonnet, there's the tail end of a mortar round sticking up from behind the radiator.

    But the RAF chap spots it and saves the day.
  14. norgie
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    norgie Swinger

    It was The Radio War, explaining how poor our ComSec was back in the 80's
  15. T24D
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    T24D Clanker

    Yeah i think so. I must have seen that about twenty times on courses and spare Troop training afternoons over the years Germany.
    Joke was, as a sprog on viewing one you took it all in. A couple of years down the line and we would all laugh at the siggie's gaff when in reality it was always the Sunrays who needed to be surgically removed fron a handset and battered over tx time!!
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