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30-08-2010, 22:24 #1Senior Member
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Stella Artois garden umbrella - Hols for Heroes ends 5.9.10
As I am not in a financial position to donate real money to Hols, I have made a huge decision...I'm auctioning off my beloved Stella Artois garden umbrella.
This has been used about 3 or 4 times and has hidden in my shed ever since so the thieving pikeys over the back don't come over and nick it. That's not doing it the justice it deserves so I'm auctioning it off to someone who will give it a loving home.
I'll get a photo posted as soon as it stops fekkin raining. There may be a couple of marks from it's hibernation in the shed, I'll do my best to remove these so that it looks pristine, as an item like this so richly deserves.
This was legally purchase by myself while it was still in the wrapper...so I haven't nicked it from the nearest pub. I'm not able to vouch for the sellers though :DWhy do you write such long posts
Retard
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*insert interesting comment, I can't be arrsed*
"Scientists in the future will completely struggle to work out how you were ever classified as an intelligent life form."
"Listen to you? I'd rather listen to the sound of me sucking out the juices of a corpse through its anal sphincter. Harsh, but true."
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31-08-2010, 13:41 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- Between the shed and the woodburner
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- 8,719
Great auction, thanks EPB. I'll start the ball rolling with a tenner. By the time I've cleared the jungle that is my garden, Summer will be here again!
And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.
Henry Reed
Proving that nothing has changed since World War Two
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01-09-2010, 08:55 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- Between the shed and the woodburner
- Posts
- 8,719
No-one else thinking there will be an Indian Summer with lots of opportunity to use this lovely item?
And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.
Henry Reed
Proving that nothing has changed since World War Two
-
01-09-2010, 09:39 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Westpoint likes this.
- Posts
- 11,147
£20 for when I get my garden back....
"What goes on in the gym - stays in the gym". Fatbadge 061108 (Blowing out of his ricker)
"Haribo is not Breakfast" Mrs OriginalPhantom 190409
"It's Daddy's hat" - Mini VH, Eastenders' Cricket Match 300809
"I love you Dale" Woodandy3 040909
[smallbrownprivates] 11:53 pm: belsen survivors look obese next to you 03/04/10
"I just want to whack their heads" Bootiful 060810
"Sorry Dale but with a gun at my head (and a plank strapped across my arse to stop me falling in) you would get the best twenty seconds of your life. " Mushroom 1829hrs 070411.
"FutureSIB is the product of a vicious rape by Dwight Yorke. The shitcunt" Steven Seagull 1639hrs 02/11/11
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01-09-2010, 10:22 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
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- Between the shed and the woodburner
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- 8,719
I have been informed that it has a tiny hole near the hem. This may mean it can only be used on Sundays, but in any case, bidders should be aware.
And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.
Henry Reed
Proving that nothing has changed since World War Two
-
02-09-2010, 21:04 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- Between the shed and the woodburner
- Posts
- 8,719
EPB has an embarrassing confession.
I've managed to leave in a couple of marks at the same time as removing the colour around it...it's not called Vanish for the reasons I'd assumed!!
So, Snaily, are you willing to continue the auction in light of the fact that there will be a small hole and a couple or marks, or should we suspend the auction to save EPB's blushes?And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.
Henry Reed
Proving that nothing has changed since World War Two
-
02-09-2010, 21:41 #7armadilloGuest
Stella Artois umbrella, couple of marks on it dear chap, not called wife beater for nothing, I would bid but alas I have no space for it, so a shameless bump is called for, hope you get loads for it
Armadillo
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02-09-2010, 21:44 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- Between the shed and the woodburner
- Posts
- 8,719
Good point, armadillo. Over to Snail for a decision as she's the highest current bidder.
And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.
Henry Reed
Proving that nothing has changed since World War Two
-
02-09-2010, 21:55 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2004
- Posts
- 237
30 quid, I'm not too fussed about the damage.
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03-09-2010, 11:44 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- Between the shed and the woodburner
- Posts
- 8,719
Thank you, hairy monster. Most kind.
And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.
Henry Reed
Proving that nothing has changed since World War Two
-
03-09-2010, 21:53 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Posts
- 745
Its just a little bit faded, and as its at the very top of the umbrella not too noticeable...unless you have really really tall mates.
Can't do right for doing wrong at the moment...but tis my fave garden umbrella ever so still a huge sacrifice! I could always use my lil Demon's felt tip pens and colour it in if ya like :D
I'll do a photo tomorrow. Promise...Why do you write such long posts
Retard
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*insert interesting comment, I can't be arrsed*
"Scientists in the future will completely struggle to work out how you were ever classified as an intelligent life form."
"Listen to you? I'd rather listen to the sound of me sucking out the juices of a corpse through its anal sphincter. Harsh, but true."
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04-09-2010, 08:39 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- Between the shed and the woodburner
- Posts
- 8,719
Thanks, EPB. It seems like folks are willing to bid anyway, so don't beat yourself up about it. Widow's mite and all that.
Have a good weekend.And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.
Henry Reed
Proving that nothing has changed since World War Two
-
04-09-2010, 22:47 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Posts
- 745
At long last - photos!
Why do you write such long posts
Retard
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*insert interesting comment, I can't be arrsed*
"Scientists in the future will completely struggle to work out how you were ever classified as an intelligent life form."
"Listen to you? I'd rather listen to the sound of me sucking out the juices of a corpse through its anal sphincter. Harsh, but true."
-
05-09-2010, 14:37 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- Between the shed and the woodburner
- Posts
- 8,719
Thank you for the pics, EPB. They're just the ticket, and the umbrella is still with hairymonster at £30.
Eidted for problem fingers when typing.And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.
Henry Reed
Proving that nothing has changed since World War Two
-
05-09-2010, 21:35 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Posts
- 745
That's brilliant, await pm for postage type actions :D
Why do you write such long posts
Retard
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*insert interesting comment, I can't be arrsed*
"Scientists in the future will completely struggle to work out how you were ever classified as an intelligent life form."
"Listen to you? I'd rather listen to the sound of me sucking out the juices of a corpse through its anal sphincter. Harsh, but true."
-
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