Thread: Pull Up A Sandbag - the Novel

Just had a catch up read of that story, I now feel uneasy about sleeping tonight or infact letting my other half ever eat a tomato again!

Glider,
If you believe life's more common homilies, then relax - you are WHAT you eat, not WHO!

Just like to pass my Thanks to everyone who has bought a copy of "Pull Up a Sandbag" over the past year since it was Published on April Fools Day, 2009 - We should know the total amount going to Help 4 Heroes in the next couple of days... will post it here when I find out.

Work on the Sequel continues... More Beer to be consumed and Midnight Oil Burnt during the process

Originally Posted by Gundulph

Just like to pass my Thanks to everyone who has bought a copy of "Pull Up a Sandbag" over the past year since it was Published on April Fools Day, 2009 - We should know the total amount going to Help 4 Heroes in the next couple of days... will post it here when I find out.

Work on the Sequel continues... More Beer to be consumed and Midnight Oil Burnt during the process

Strangely enough, my (signed) copy is out on loan to a nice Navy lady from the gym.

I'll never see that fucker again will I? It will go the same place as my 4 copies of Picking up the Brass. Someone elses bookshelf!

Originally Posted by The_Snail

I'll never see that fucker again will I? It will go the same place as my 4 copies of Picking up the Brass. Someone elses bookshelf!

Some would call that bad management

We have finally received the totals sold from the Publisher... Many thanks to all here on ARRSE who have bought a copy of "Pull Up a Sandbag" over 1500 copies have been sold and the donation of over 1500GBP was made yesterday to Help 4 Heroes, so Great Effort one and all!!!

The Book is available in several Waterstones etc. around the U.K. and is also available to buy on Amazon:

Pull Up a Sandbag the Book


Thanks again everyone... we continue to work on the Sequel...

You have to get the story of the Skin & the Polar Bear in the next book. Ask Captain Willard for the full details as it was just before my time...

Try and contact Taff D****r (former RSM 33) and get him to tell you the tale of the man who bagged a tiger during GW1 ... serious!

Picked up a copy from Waterstones in Plymouth last week,some great stories ideal reading for the breaks during the day.Got a cracking story from Snow Queen '81' turkey neck+1x young subaltan.

Amazon has added a Temporarily Out of Stock statement to the Pull Up a Sandbag Page, you have always been able to buy it from Amazon.co.uk but through one of the Sellers, it has never been stocked by Amazon themselves as the Pound to Help4 Heroes would have been at risk from the Publishers side, I'd just like to let everyone know (9 people have E-Mailed me since last Wednesday saying it is Out of Stock on Amazon) that nothing has changed, it is still In Stock, to buy it just click on the link to one of the 2 sellers below the Out of Stock statement and press on Woodfield and add to cart as normal, I have also amended the link to point straight to the page it is available from:

Pull Up a Sandbag - by Jonathan Smiles

Or press on the Picture to go to the 'In Stock' page...

Apologies for any inconvenience this has caused those who thought it was Out of Stock...

A wonderful book.I particularly like the chapter on gthe young subby in Kuwait and the cannon on the yacht!

Just finished it. On occasion I laughed out loud which was most welcome. But most of the time I just sat there sniggering whilst the wife kept glancing across at me wondering what I was smirking about. It's certainly a good read. Recommended stuff.

Originally Posted by Gundulph

Amazon has added a Temporarily Out of Stock statement to the Pull Up a Sandbag Page, you have always been able to buy it from Amazon.co.uk but through one of the Sellers, it has never been stocked by Amazon themselves as the Pound to Help4 Heroes would have been at risk from the Publishers side, I'd just like to let everyone know (9 people have E-Mailed me since last Wednesday saying it is Out of Stock on Amazon) that nothing has changed, it is still In Stock, to buy it just click on the link to one of the 2 sellers below the Out of Stock statement and press on Woodfield and add to cart as normal, I have also amended the link to point straight to the page it is available from:

Pull Up a Sandbag - by Jonathan Smiles

Or press on the Picture to go to the 'In Stock' page...

Apologies for any inconvenience this has caused those who thought it was Out of Stock...

Hello, would you please be so kind as to send me another signed copy please, as some scumbag called Roy who worked at Hillside in Stan Lee nicked mine, and my signed copy of Picking up the Brass.

If I ever see him again, the fat RAF twat, I will tear him a new one. Tell me where to send the pennies to.

Thanking you tar, Dale T xxxx

Apo - logies Dale, I've only just seen your post, the book is still very much available through Amazon still, follow this direct link to the actual purchasing page: Pull Up a Sandbag - by Jonathan Smiles we are both currently in Sarajevo and with no books here ourselves apart from our one copy each so by all means if you want to send us a copy we will Sign it and send back by your very own Snail Mail system...

A good time for a small Plug if I may with Christmas around the corner, you can see 19 reviews of the book on the Amazon page and a few 'Comments' below...

"Hysterically funny - and then some!

Pull up a Sandbag is a brilliant collection of bite sized snippets of armed service humour. A perfect bog-book for home or work, or for civvies who wonder what squaddies do when they are not appearing on TV with Ross Kemp. Warning! Don't read this on a crowded bus or train as the resulting fits of hysterical laughter will have onlookers phoning directory enquiries and asking to be put through to the funny farm to tell them to come and collect you. Some spare four-by-two or a small girly pack of tissues is also a must as reading this book will make the air dusty and cause streaming tear ducts. This book can also be considered as a "how-to" manual if you need inspiration for a wind up or decent nickname for the latest numpty that has just arrived from basic. And if you are an ex-squaddie, matelot or crab don't be too quick to sigh with relief if your unfortunate experience, foul up or wah isn't mentioned - there's bound to be a second volume!" by Les Howard (Amazon.co.uk)
Woodfield Publishing Ltd (the publishers) are donating £1 per copy sold to Help For Heroes, which gives assistance to UK ex-service personnel who have been injured in the line of duty.

Softback book containing 200 pages of humorous stories contributed by British military personnel
Over 18's Only, as this book contains adult humour.

To order your copy today, please visit:
Pull Up a Sandbag - by Jonathan Smiles

Just a selection of latest readers reviews...

"Got the book for my birthday - Brilliantly funny ! I have a stack of stories which I am sure everyone has! to add to this - love the Iron cross story! LMFAO!" by J. F.

"From the very first story to the last, I kept bursting into fits of giggles as I read the outrageous goings on. If it's squaddy humour at its finest you are looking for, then this book is a must." by Biped.

"Purchased, Received, only a few pages in but my face is sore from laughing so much." by N.G.

"Only had the book an hour, couldn't resist just a little peak, now on page 8 and it's wiped out a whole week of work stress in one go!" by D.H.

"My wife has now started reading it and every now and then I can hear little sniggers coming from her direction, brilliant book well done." by G.C.

Hysterical from start to finish, and heaven help us, the next volume is already being written!

"I finished reading Pull Up a Sandbay this morning, and it is a top book. Very funny and stuff in there that we can all relate to. The Iron Cross story is my favorite." by Sausage 2 (E-Goat Forum)

"Was bought it for my birthday. Brilliant read and could not stop laughing out loud. roll on the sequel." by M.McG.

"Just received 'Pull up a Sandbag' and am laughing my arse off, tho kids and wife aren't that happy!" by R.L.

"Read on the train to the Army/Navy, suprised I wasn`t arrested for uncontrolled giggling." by S.C.N.

"This has to be one of the funniest books I have ever read. You will love this book if yoo have ever spent time in green kit." by A.W.

"Bought it on day of release, thoroughly rivetting read... near wet myself more than once." by M.A.

"Got my book today and have done little else since, without doubt the funniest book I've ever read." by T.L.

"It's already had me roaring with laughter ...from the start." by E.B.

"Finally a book for the serviceman written by the serviceman! An outstanding read, rarely does a book come along that makes you laugh out aloud and "Pull Up A Sandbag" certainly did that! Full of truly hilarious tales and barrack room legends this book is a must for any serving or ex serviceman. Buy it, read it, tell your mates to buy it and what better reason do you need than a donation to "Help for Heroes" This book certainly reminds you of the unique humour that made, and still makes the British servicemen and women the best in the world!... Keep this up and can't wait for the next installment! Well done!!" by A.D.

"Just started reading "Pull up a Sandbag". I was laughing so much that I was crying, when I couldn’t cry any more I wet myself. When I had finished I realised through many emotions (including shame, guilt, naughtiness) that the warm feeling I now had was pride. Pride that I had once been a squaddie, but even prouder still that I know and have worked with one of the guys responsible for this literary masterpiece." by M.C.

"Received my copy yesterday so started reading it whilst sitting in Court this morning, the Judge kept raising her eyebrows at me when I constantly let out little chuckles." by M.A.

"Best laugh you can have in the bog! For those who have got out and for those thinking of joining up, This is a must read! my wife is confused with all the laughing coming from the smallest room in the house!" by C.F.

"Pull Up a sandbag - Having just finished reading this much waited for book it has not failed to please in evoking the timeless memory of being sat together with those who some might consider a motley collection of charming rogues around a yellow handbag, in a civilised mess garden or deep in the heart of an anonymous German forestry block just before last light huddled around a brew and a last cigarette."

"If this description causes a wry smile and a gentle chuckle then I warn you this will also make you howl with laughter and have tears in your eyes, I would say from personal experience that reading this on public transport will attract the attention of all, as you try and stifle the inner squaddie, and no doubt fail."

"I could mention that some stories will not doubt evoke memories of our own sometime near misses with notoriety or not so near misses some will make you remark out loud with the sear genius of the stitch up, thus with a shine pound coin going to HELP for HEROES also what is to stop you ordering a copy."

"(see the footnote on page 41 if the yellow handbag need further explanation)" by Mrs M.I.M.

"Pull up a Sandbag is a collection of short stories of squaddies, their humour and their nefarious activities. This is not a work of literary art, it is a book written by squaddies and about squaddies and reflects the humour required to deal with the day to life of a soldier. It is in a similar vein to 'Don't cry for me Sgt Major' of the eighties and a must read for anyone with a connection to, or an interest in, that great British Institution that is the squaddie. A great read (cover to cover within 24 hrs) and a book that will earn pride of place by your loo! Well worth the investment!! Thanks" by T.H.H. (Singapore)

"Jees, bought this and put it away to take on my holidays. hows that for will power, unfortunately im now on my holidays and havent put it down, My Mrs is not a happy bunny, lol. but this has 2 be one of the best reads and laffs i have had for years, so much rings true and strikes a chord!"

"Bought it...read it in a day......hilarious. The egg banjo story really struck a chord A miserable soggy route clearance in Londonderry, got back to camp only to find the Queens Regt. slop jockey ready to do us banjos & tarmac tea...a seminal moment!" by C.E.

I've been PM'd by several people asking if the book is still available for purchase in time for Christmas as it is saying Temporarily unavailable on Amazon, YES it is still available, just look below that message and press on available from these sellers, or go direct to: Pull Up a Sandbag - by Jonathan Smiles

We will continue work on the sequel from next week as I've been away on contract and the Co-Author has been in rehearsals over the past couple of months for his part as Gertrude in the Cinderella Pantomime showing this week in Sarajevo (Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, should be a good giggle) .