Shagging in the back of a Helicopter

**Achmed** · 22-04-2008, 10:31

It is a well known fact that Bowser Mongs w@nk in the back of helicopters and wipe the "spent" where tech & pilots put their mits.

Also in the Radio store!!!!!

However getting off the Dull Thread of the Royals having a bit of a sortie, how many Aviation types have shagged a bird or bloke (Lynx Pilots) in the said Cab.

Achmed's hits:

WRAC 1 huge Norks fat Arse Back of a Scout & Bowser on exercise in Guildford.

Slim WRAC 2 Back of Scout same Exercise.

Female Dog handler/ kennel Maid in back of Agusta 109.

TA Medic female type at Warcop (Scout)

WRAC CO's Driver Warcop (Scout)

I think the Roar of tthe Mighty Nimbus gets them Wet!!!

**Mighty_doh_nut** · 22-04-2008, 10:37

I've had sex with myself in the back whilst flying in both Ireland, UK and Kuwait.

Poked a trout in a Mk9 in 664s hanger and a Air Hostess in Mk7 at the 664 Medievil banquet just after we killed that chicken.

Had a sly one off the wrist in the back of a Gazelle in BATUS.....

**delinquent** · 22-04-2008, 10:42

I hope your not insinuating that a member of the royal family who picked up his girlfriend in a chinook got up to nooky?

Though if he did I'm sure someone would have said that it's part of his training :D

**Cholmondley-Warner** · 22-04-2008, 11:07

Is it not also true that the daughter of a well-known civvie in the Falklands (may have been bossganger civvie) was rogered rotten in the back of a Chinook whilst the rear ramp was down?

She obviously gave a flying fuck.... :D

**Sloppy Link** · 22-04-2008, 19:45

On accusing a pal of shagging a bird in the back of his cab, he strenuously denied it. "I shagged her in yours!" he declared proudly. Bastard.

**naked_mole_rat** · 22-04-2008, 21:38

Yeah I joined the metre high club a few years ago in the back of a mark 7 whilst out in the fatherland. Got a high lateral vibe going and nearly spanked the blades on some shelving. Conducted a post sortie loose artical check. Cab 's' job done.

**cloudbuster** · 22-04-2008, 21:45

Couldn't possibly comment, although it would have been a terrible waste not to make use of the 9 we used to support 201 Field Hospital one weekend. It was a bit too public in the hangar...........

**crabtastic** · 22-04-2008, 21:49

A mate of mine got jiggy on the ramp of a Swedish Air Force Hercules with a rather accommodating Canadian filly, behind everyone's bags while she thought we were all asleep. Silly girl.

How do we know? He popped his head up from behind cover whilst hanging out the back of her and gave us the OK signal with his hand. Hell of a boy.

I also heard a tale, from back in the 1980s, of two army captains in the back of a blacked-out Puma in NI at night who didn't realize that the crew was trialling something called NVGs. After watching the chap get some hand relief the loadie had the cabin lights switched on just as he was reaching the vinegar strokes.

**HarryBosch** · 22-04-2008, 22:18

I do not believe one should brag about such things, ... but .... after Coy abseil training (I once did the despatchers and fiddly knots course in 79/80) we used to take the odd gaggle of wrens up for 200 footers out of the Wessie Vs. (Figure of 8s, not crab* and over the shoulder jobs, obviously!). Later one particular evening I ended up inside one of the cabs with a young Jenny hanging off the rudder cables. I did in fact later try to get her over the flotation bag in the tail behind the curtain but we couldn't see what the feck we were doing and were a tad worried that we may cause unknown damage if we persisted in stumbling about back there. :D

*Note for youngsters: 'Crab' in this context is not a reference to something light blue and perambulating

**Bandalong** · 22-04-2008, 22:24

Hope you don’t mind my contribution:

Never had a shag, but had a good $hit.. Sorry for off topic, but…..

Twas approx 10 years ago upon which I worked for a certain helicopter operator in the Middle East. I won’t call them Abu Dhabi Aviation in case any one thinks that is who they are.

Anyway, I digress…

With much thanks to my Chief Engy at the time, he reckoned it would be a good idea for me to spend a few weeks offshore, stay off the pi$$ etc…..etc…

I was thus suitably assigned to the glorious accommodation/water injection rig Umm Shaiff.

The helipad was miles (I only slightly exaggerate) from the accommodation pad.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, as the engineer I had to be there at least 1 hour in the morning before the pilot for pre flight, fuel checks etc.

06:00, after 10 days and many curries, I was feeling slightly gurgly in the old guts.

Doing my preflight one morning, I was grabbed with cramps and promptly shat myself into my overalls.. I was “commando” at the time as it was feckin hot.

No problem, I will just climb into the back of the 212 and clean myself up with the blue roll which we handily keep on the aircraft for wiping grease, pilots foreheads etc...

There I was squatting in the cabin with my overalls down my ankles bollocky naked wiping my hoop with blue paper and admiring the bits of corn and tomato skins, when the door slides opens and the pilot looks in and says “oh hello”.

Promptly slides the door shut and signs the paperwork without a look and starts up as quick as he can and fecks off into the deep blue yonder.

Fair play to him, kept it quiet but cost me a few crates.

**starfire** · 22-04-2008, 22:30

Originally Posted by Bandalong

Hope you don’t mind my contribution:

Never had a shag, but had a good $hit.. Sorry for off topic, but…..

Twas approx 10 years ago upon which I worked for a certain helicopter operator in the Middle East. I won’t call them Abu Dhabi Aviation in case any one thinks that is who they are.

Anyway, I digress…

With much thanks to my Chief Engy at the time, he reckoned it would be a good idea for me to spend a few weeks offshore, stay off the pi$$ etc…..etc…

I was thus suitably assigned to the glorious accommodation/water injection rig Umm Shaiff.

The helipad was miles (I only slightly exaggerate) from the accommodation pad.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, as the engineer I had to be there at least 1 hour in the morning before the pilot for pre flight, fuel checks etc.

06:00, after 10 days and many curries, I was feeling slightly gurgly in the old guts.

Doing my preflight one morning, I was grabbed with cramps and promptly shat myself into my overalls.. I was “commando” at the time as it was feckin hot.

No problem, I will just climb into the back of the 212 and clean myself up with the blue roll which we handily keep on the aircraft for wiping grease, pilots foreheads etc...

There I was squatting in the cabin with my overalls down my ankles bollocky naked wiping my hoop with blue paper and admiring the bits of corn and tomato skins, when the door slides opens and the pilot looks in and says “oh hello”.

Promptly slides the door shut and signs the paperwork without a look and starts up as quick as he can and fecks off into the deep blue yonder.

Fair play to him, kept it quiet but cost me a few crates.

What........NEVER? never EVER? There I was feeling sorry for myself!

**Bandalong** · 22-04-2008, 22:36

Originally Posted by starfire

Originally Posted by Bandalong

Hope you don’t mind my contribution:

Never had a shag, but had a good $hit.. Sorry for off topic, but…..

Twas approx 10 years ago upon which I worked for a certain helicopter operator in the Middle East. I won’t call them Abu Dhabi Aviation in case any one thinks that is who they are.

Anyway, I digress…

With much thanks to my Chief Engy at the time, he reckoned it would be a good idea for me to spend a few weeks offshore, stay off the pi$$ etc…..etc…

I was thus suitably assigned to the glorious accommodation/water injection rig Umm Shaiff.

The helipad was miles (I only slightly exaggerate) from the accommodation pad.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, as the engineer I had to be there at least 1 hour in the morning before the pilot for pre flight, fuel checks etc.

06:00, after 10 days and many curries, I was feeling slightly gurgly in the old guts.

Doing my preflight one morning, I was grabbed with cramps and promptly shat myself into my overalls.. I was “commando” at the time as it was feckin hot.

No problem, I will just climb into the back of the 212 and clean myself up with the blue roll which we handily keep on the aircraft for wiping grease, pilots foreheads etc...

There I was squatting in the cabin with my overalls down my ankles bollocky naked wiping my hoop with blue paper and admiring the bits of corn and tomato skins, when the door slides opens and the pilot looks in and says “oh hello”.

Promptly slides the door shut and signs the paperwork without a look and starts up as quick as he can and fecks off into the deep blue yonder.

Fair play to him, kept it quiet but cost me a few crates.

What........NEVER? never EVER? There I was feeling sorry for myself!

Kin 'ell! I walked into that one! :P

**starfire** · 22-04-2008, 22:52

Originally Posted by Bandalong

Originally Posted by starfire

Originally Posted by Bandalong

Hope you don’t mind my contribution:

Never had a shag, but had a good $hit.. Sorry for off topic, but…..

Twas approx 10 years ago upon which I worked for a certain helicopter operator in the Middle East. I won’t call them Abu Dhabi Aviation in case any one thinks that is who they are.

Anyway, I digress…

With much thanks to my Chief Engy at the time, he reckoned it would be a good idea for me to spend a few weeks offshore, stay off the pi$$ etc…..etc…

I was thus suitably assigned to the glorious accommodation/water injection rig Umm Shaiff.

The helipad was miles (I only slightly exaggerate) from the accommodation pad.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, as the engineer I had to be there at least 1 hour in the morning before the pilot for pre flight, fuel checks etc.

06:00, after 10 days and many curries, I was feeling slightly gurgly in the old guts.

Doing my preflight one morning, I was grabbed with cramps and promptly shat myself into my overalls.. I was “commando” at the time as it was feckin hot.

No problem, I will just climb into the back of the 212 and clean myself up with the blue roll which we handily keep on the aircraft for wiping grease, pilots foreheads etc...

There I was squatting in the cabin with my overalls down my ankles bollocky naked wiping my hoop with blue paper and admiring the bits of corn and tomato skins, when the door slides opens and the pilot looks in and says “oh hello”.

Promptly slides the door shut and signs the paperwork without a look and starts up as quick as he can and fecks off into the deep blue yonder.

Fair play to him, kept it quiet but cost me a few crates.

What........NEVER? never EVER? There I was feeling sorry for myself!

Kin 'ell! I walked into that one! :P

You did mate! I was about to offer you a freebie but I guess you don't need one after all!

**jonwilly** · 23-04-2008, 09:55

Back in my day the lads who returned from Aden rekoned that one dashing young Cawalry Occifer, bugger grips and all, stopped his Scout out at an Arab village, left the mech in with rotors running while he nipped into local den of iniquity ta bonk a big black African Lady.
john

**Mighty_doh_nut** · 23-04-2008, 10:42

Shagging in the back of a Helicopter

Originally Posted by crabtastic

A mate of mine got jiggy on the ramp of a Swedish Air Force Hercules

The remarkable rotary wing C-130 :D

Crabs eh?

Slightly off topic but related to getting fcuked by helicopters...... I've heard of folk being shagged by a Gazelle.... Blade running in 5 Regt..... the blade bounes back and the trim takes all the skin off the small of your back