Military Cliches
- Twice round my beautiful bronzed body, GO!
- Hands off cocks, on socks
- The blue ribbon donates a water feature on the model
- Pacifically I mean that..........
- Can't means won't - won't means jail
- Rip yer arm away like you're ripping Michael Jackson off your son
- You are in your own time now
- You are shaggin idle
- This isn't an attendance only course
- I've spent longer in NAAFI queues
- I was in Baghdad when you were swilling round in your dads bag
- I could make more noise slapping my cock off the urinal.
- That fcuking bedblock looks like an elephants nest
- These balls are Gristle not crystal
- Today its buttons, tomorrow its ammo pouches, the day after its submarine hatches
- My tea is a salad and my wife is ugly
- The ball is in your court
- You write your own report
- I'm going to shove this pace stick through your ears and ride you round the square like a motorbike!
- I'm gonna rip your arm off and beat you to death with the soggy end!
- Admin - it's not a small town in China!
- If its not Raining its not Training!
- If its not snowing, we're not going!
- Strike, seize and grasp the rifle in a Y like grip - If you break it you can have the afternoon off and I'll buy you another
- I couldnt give a fcuk about your problems, I do warfare not welfare.
- If you have an issue, grab a tissue.
- Did you iron that with a pillow/cold iron/cold mess tin.
- What did you iron that with? A hot rock?
- What did you iron that with? A Fcuking Thunderflash?
- Slick drills, Easy kills.
- Move the rifle around your head, NOT your head around the rifle
- In a smart, uniform AND soldier-like fashion.
- Dig the heels in - MORE YET!
- Your other left
- Move... with the speed of a thousand gazelles
- You...get in a bucket of sand and sing the desert song.
- Open your legs - your mum did!
- I was on the main gate when you were on Cow & Gate.
- Don't get a sad on, get a mag on, and get a stag on.
- Drill is like a man. It always comes.
- Drill is a pill to be taken twice daily - not as a punishment but as a tonic to life.
- Stand still when you're moving!
- Get some time in.
- You have had more sleep than the unknown soldier
- There are three type of sarge- sausage, massage and back passage
- Get a move on laddie or I'll stick my dick in your ear and make you look like a petrol pump!
- When I want your fcuking opinion I'll give it to you.
- I've rolled the rover over, over.
- Spread out, in a bunch.
- Screw the Bobbin
- Whose coat is this jacket?
- Youve had more time off than John Waynes Safety Catch!
- Look in, listen in!
- Admin by thunderflash.
- your only one shot away from command
- Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
- x days and a wakeup.
- Space is scarce, so pack it in: nut to butt. Make your buddy smile.
- Nuts.
- Dub your soldiers Royal Knights of Shamalot.
- Hop on the no-work train to Sham Central Station.
- Eat it now, taste it later.
- Mamasan: 'Fcuk you GI.'
- DS with accent so thick he is unintelligable: 'What am I speaking? Chinese?!'
- Move with a purpose.
- Quit your smokin' and jokin'; it's time to get hot 'n' heavy.
- You may have the rest of your airborne life to deploy your reserve shoot.
- That's fcuked up like a football bat.
- You are a soup sandwich.
- And America's greatest contribution to the military vernacular: Fcukin' aye!
- When ......(Name) joined up, the Dead Sea first reported sick.
- When ......(Name) joined up, Centurion was a rank, not a Tank.
- When ......(Name) joined up, Pontius was a Navigator.
- When ......(Name) joined up, Wellington was a General, not a boot.
- As one door shuts another one closes.
- No chitty, no pity
- Am I hurting you son, I should be I'm stood on your Sh*ggin hair
- Stand still!
- Sir, you are confusing your rank with my authority.
- ------ will go far, as long as transport is provided.
- Go and see the Q for a long weight/tin of tartan paint.
- Look this way for a complete demonstration.
- Good point, well presented...
- No names, no pack drill
- Go and take your head for a sh*t
- Waste of rations / Oxygen thief
- ...with the body erect and SQUARE TO THE FRONT!!!
- I was in uniform when you were in liquid form.
- Make like a swastika.
- He'll go a long way......on a travel warrant.
- Does anyone NOT understand this movement?
- ONE!...TwoThree...ONE!
- Get yer arms shoulder high!