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Homosexual

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Cackpipe cosmonauts, semen demons, uphill gardeners, fudgepackers, trump pushers, those who 'bat from the pavilion end' and 'take the other bus' to get there.

Also known as gentlemen's gentlemen, friends of dorothy, bhatti boys, men who prefer the company of men, shit stabbers, pink pantella puffers, queens, queers, arse bandits, winnet nibblers, brown spunk dumpsters, turd burglers, anal astronauts, beefers brown hatters, tunnel testers, buttock bashers, heemasexes, spleen squeezers, puffs, poofs, pooves, poo pushers, rear gunners (one who fires his Lamb Cannon into another chap's bomb bay), pillow biters, players of the pink obo or skin flute, chutney ferrets, mincers, Cavalry Officers and so on.

How do you spot them? Well, if someone squeezes past you in a crowded pub and says to you 'let me just push this stool in', you know to clamp your arsecheeks tight.

How do you deal with them? Mince thoroughly and sell as luxury cat food to the rich and famous. Sir Elton is in particular demand for moggies belonging to Saudi princes.

The Female variety are variously known as:

Bean flickers, lesbos, clamjousters, diesel dykes, ladies who drink from the furry cup, tennis fans, women on a meat-free diet, carpet munchers, diners at the Y, ladies in comfortable shoes and so on. There are the fat ugly CAT boot wearing butch dykes and the more favourable and thoroughly acceptable fit ones with big busters (lipstick lesbians).

See also: Lesbo-Fascist.

Crap joke

Found written on a toilet wall, like all the best crap jokes:

Q. What's the difference between a puff and a microwave?

A. A microwave doesn't brown your meat.

Military Moonlighting?

The "Andrew" holding up their end.

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