Time to start thinking about next year's summer ball. I'm looking for ideas. If you've got memories of a particularly good event organised by your Mess, would you write a few lines about it so I can pick the best for suggestions to the PMC?

If you get hold of Cuddles, paint his face black and stick him in a shiny suit, you can pretend that you've booked Cee Lo Green.

Something smell in here?

Couple of ideas for you:

Spend a little bit of money and give all the ladies a little gift - goes down great with wives and partners, mention it as a thank-you for all their support during the year.

Avoid getting a band unless you know for a fact that they are good - often bands can be a real let down and very expensive. Invest in a better DJ.

If you can get one, a real show stopper is a hot air balloon tethered in the mess garden (or nearby sports pitch). I went to a couple of balls where this has been done - universally felt that it was awesome thing to have.

Go for food that is a bit different. In my time I have organised functions with food as diverse as snake, crocodile, shark, etc.

Everyone loves a bit of magic so if you can get hold of table magicians to walk around whilst dinner is being served I have found it a real winner.

Good luck, organising functions is often a thankless task and everyone wants to voice an opinion. Any more questions PM me.

Originally Posted by xenophon2012

Couple of ideas for you:

Spend a little bit of money and give all the ladies a little gift - goes down great with wives and partners, mention it as a thank-you for all their support during the year.

Try companies that do wedding favours for some nice and very cost effective ideas. At our Xmas ball we had lovely little silver snowflakes on a silk loop, sold as bookmarks but equally pretty hung on the tree. Came in gift boxes, all for a few pence over £1, and they did squaddie discount!

We had a 'Siege of Lucknow' ball once. Managed to convince some drop shorts to lend us an old cannon, plonked it outside the mess and went to town decorating the place like the embassy in Carry on Up the Khyber. All the staff in Indian dress, a cartoonist, a fortune teller, some Indian food, a shooting gallery in the garden and loads of other amusements, dreamed up and arranged by the subbies.

All good fun and, since I got my end away in a Warrior, I can only strongly recommend this approach to mess entertainment.

xenophon, bigbird, udipur,
Thanks for quick replies - all good ideas.


Anyone else got any memories that stand out about a really good 'do'?

Originally Posted by MFIC

xenophon, bigbird, udipur,
Thanks for quick replies - all good ideas.


Anyone else got any memories that stand out about a really good 'do'?

39 Engr Regts Cpls Mess Xmas Ball about 83 ish. Built a massive marquee on an island , in the lake that the regiment and several plant courses had built. Suits and long dresses. Dance floor, band, dj and army chef catering. So far so good. Toilets provided by Portakabin as we were 600m from the nearest barrack facility.

Pea Nutt (one of the trampiest full screws I've ever met) was in black tie and tux and had a much less than slim wife, whom, showing much chivalry, he escorted to the Portaloo and back. His table being the furthest from the toilet end of the tent,on their return, he squired her across the dancefloor only for her to be told that her long dress was tucked into the back of her massive pants.

That was one of the funniest mess do's I've ever been to, my cheeks still ache with the memory of my laughter.

Mind you, she was fucking mortified, so I guess it's subjective.

PS And I was a Sapper so was there in an admin support role. Waiter!

first one I ever went to was a Viking themed party: lots of hessian to decorate mess and party goers with a massive cardboard ship at front door. The boys shot some rabbits for the stew starter (complete with bits of shot for chipping teeth on) and the main course was loads of lamb on the bone passed around the table (tear a chunk off with teeth and pass on).
Indiana Jones: lots of hessian, mineshaft made of pallets, snooker table turned into a massive Moroccan bed, 90% of guests dressed as Nazis.
Woodstock: Lots of cyalumes used for lighting (hundreds hung from mess chandeliers instead of using actual lights) and uv glow paint for decorating bodies.
A Gilbert and Sullivan party I went to a few years back (civvy but lots of army in attendance) was highly entertaining, lots of gay gondoliers, little maids from school and a couple of the "very model of the modern major general".
If you can get it past the 'elf and safety - bucking broncos are a laugh and try to get the drummers in uv skeleton suits in after dinner as they always kick off the party.