Originally Posted by xenophon2012

If you can get one, a real show stopper is a hot air balloon tethered in the mess garden (or nearby sports pitch). I went to a couple of balls where this has been done - universally felt that it was awesome thing to have.

Go for food that is a bit different. In my time I have organised functions with food as diverse as snake, crocodile, shark, etc.

Everyone loves a bit of magic so if you can get hold of table magicians to walk around whilst dinner is being served I have found it a real winner.

Why not go the whole hog and book Billy Smart's Circus.

Originally Posted by Dervish

first one I ever went to was a Viking themed party: lots of hessian to decorate mess and party goers with a massive cardboard ship at front door. The boys shot some rabbits for the stew starter (complete with bits of shot for chipping teeth on) and the main course was loads of lamb on the bone passed around the table (tear a chunk off with teeth and pass on).
Indiana Jones: lots of hessian, mineshaft made of pallets, snooker table turned into a massive Moroccan bed, 90% of guests dressed as Nazis.
Woodstock: Lots of cyalumes used for lighting (hundreds hung from mess chandeliers instead of using actual lights) and uv glow paint for decorating bodies.
A Gilbert and Sullivan party I went to a few years back (civvy but lots of army in attendance) was highly entertaining, lots of gay gondoliers, little maids from school and a couple of the "very model of the modern major general".
If you can get it past the 'elf and safety - bucking broncos are a laugh and try to get the drummers in uv skeleton suits in after dinner as they always kick off the party.

Surely this is a given... Of course you have a have one of these.
Make sure that when a lady in a strapless gown has a go there's a ribbon supplied for her to tie around her waist. Once she has been advised that for balance the best thing she can do is to stick her hand under it, there is absolutely no way that she'll be able to stay on AND prevent her bangers from flying out.

This was a riot at last year's Lord mayor's ball.

Bollocks to the UV skeleton drummers, by the way.

Best Mess do, ever, was a Come As You're Caught in the late 80s. The living-in members deployed around the Regiment and the patch, with little 110mm cameras and over a Friday and the weekend caught the entire Mess membership, plus wives, in some horrific states. Fines were imposed on arrival at the function for failure to duplicate the look - for example, the ASM, caught coming out of the shower (in collusion with his wife, who just *happened* to be wearing a long dress at 1000 Sunday morning), was fined a bottle for having his soap in the wrong hand. No mercy was shown anyone, least of all the less-than-popular SSM who was caught sans trousers while getting changed in his office.

A 7 RHA ball back in the eighties was themed Orient Express...which considering all the gunner officers were dressed like BR stewards was fair enough! However they had gone out of their way to make the gymnasium into themed areas - check in, compartments, destinations and the atmosphere was helped along by ample free booze. There was a fun fair - although that really was not Orient Express themed and on hindsight given ample free booze a high risk activity. An elephant made an appearance but sadly the expected offering did not appear...

3LI did a ball at Weeton(?) Bks which was tame by comparison but had one of the highlights of my military social experience, when the young waiter came up with a tray of mixed drinks and offered my first wife a "John Thomas". The Mess Manager dived on him in real fury and in broad geordie reminded him that "these isn't John Thomas's these is Tom Collinses...". They had a casino from the RSDG too, I think?

As it later turned out, she probably wouldn't have minded the offer of a buckshee John Thomas...

Best one was in Cyprus in the Zulu Warrior club (all ranks but 95% was full screw and above) Was PEC on a Medieval night and got a company in with costumes that we hired around £10 a head (dry cleaning costs) and they did the entertainment like stocks etc. Had a great night eating off of flat bread as plates and eating like it was a proper medieval banquet, also got medieval goblets made for each member and guest and got the nod off the OC /Badge to stand up and ask if ALL Squadron members were willing to be in at 10am next day for a clean up which they agreed to (very suprisingly everyone turned up). Luckily I had got the committee to put clear sheeting around the room walls and floor as the food fight started and the place was well and truely trashed at one point as I tried to tell the OC I wasnt getting involved as he pointed out my hands covered in Coleslaw that Id been lobbing ..obviously self defence as our top table was targetted. What a great night, took a lot of organising and cost about £30 a head for costume, goblet, food and wine and entertainment but well worth it....only problem is getting up at 10 am to clean potato salad, coleslaw etc from a covered room in 30 degrees in Cyprus does make you a bit queezy. I believe there are companies in UK who will do similar functions.

Are you some kind of wikipedia bot? Everyone of your last posts has been utterly random.

Just who is this Cnut?

We had the RE band at one mess do - I think it was at Chattenden. The band is highly amusing and versatile (or was) and I have a memory of the Trombonist wandering around playing "The Acrobat" goosing the wimmin (in the nicest possible way) with his instrument and, just as the RSM had lit up an oversized cigar, whipped it out of his mouth with a loud farting noise. Apart from that I have absolutely no memory of the evening.

Minden 1990 Summer Ball - me & the Lance Jack I was dating. It piddled with rain outside but we had our photo taken by an official photogropher in a studio style setting inside on the night, him in No. 1 Mess Dress, me in a silk cocktail dress. Hey ho, memories are made of this. There was snow cam nets around for decoration (I'd never seen white cam nets before). The band was Tai Pan. The food was a buffet. Out of courtesy the organisers asked the ladies to come and collect their food from the buffet first. Unfortunately, out of courtesy, we then waited until the guys had gone and got their food. Oh well, they tried !

It was a cashless bar. People were supposed to buy literally, 'beer vouchers' prior to the evening. Which seemed to create consternation.

What happened to us ? Oh a few months later we went to Greece for a row. Came back not speaking to each other and decided to keep it that way.

Someone else has already mentioned it, but a Medievel Night. Roasted wild pig, goose and all eaten with the hands. The women get to dress up in large dresses and the men in light armour.

On this particular one they had a competition to see who was best dressed. One of the Cooks Sgt's won, as he was dressed as William Wallice and his wife was dressed as a noblewoman.