I know there are multiple threads covering this, I've read the booklets from SPVA, but I have a simple question which should be a yes/no and I can't find the answer anywhere:

If we make an arrangement covering the pension (I'm on AFPS 75 and still serving), can we legally have it locked in so she can't come back later and ask for more?

I'm specifically thinking of suggesting that a certain amount of the lump sum plus max commutation is signed over into her name and the remainder being put into a pot for the kids for when they reach 18. If she agrees to this and it's all signed off for legally, can this prevent her coming back in later years and asking for more?

I'm in England btw.

Yes. Get a "Consent Order - Clean Break" as part of the Decree Absolute (can not get it until after the Nisi has been awarded). The consent order fixes what you owe each other and is legally bindng.

Edited for mong spellind and I'm still not sure it's right. :o(

What Tubs said, I got a clean break as part of my divorce and left with my pensions intact. Unfortunatley it has to be agreed by the antiquated courts and they will want to ensure your wife will left comfortable. In my case she got the house (wasn't worth anything) and a nominal upkeep of £1 per year to be paid to my ex, which of course isn't paid. It's there to give her the opportunity to make a claim on maintenance if my income increases substantially.

So I have my pensions, but I risk losing a large chunk of my income if I become loaded.

Neither of my wives will receive a penny from me. I have outlived both of them. However, following my divorce in 1984 to #1 wife (still serving then) the clean break settlement meant that my pension was safe from her grubby mitts.

Okay so it's only on divorce, but unable to do it as part of a legal separation? I ask because that's what my wife has proposed and if that is the case then I think I might just be bonkers to agree to this - I'll just go for a straight divorce as I can't see any benefits (to me) for a legal separation.

Originally Posted by verticalgyro

Okay so it's only on divorce, but unable to do it as part of a legal separation? I ask because that's what my wife has proposed and if that is the case then I think I might just be bonkers to agree to this - I'll just go for a straight divorce as I can't see any benefits (to me) for a legal separation.

You need to speak to a brief really mate, but I do believe there is a document called a "Consent Order" when going down the path of legal separation.

I don't really see the point of a legal separation, but that's just my personal view. To my mind If it's over, it's over.

Consent orders are approved by the court before or at the final hearing. I went down the separated route with consent but had I known what the ex was going to throw in to make her case look better with hindsight I would have divorced her on the spot for unreasonable behaviour rather than spunk thousands of pounds up the wall on alternative rents and legal fees.
Regarding pensions my dozy ex's legal team did not pick up on this but even if they had at the final hearing the Judge stated that the house was her pension

Advice from DirectGov below

Showing your reasons for divorce
The divorce will be quicker and cheaper if you agree the ‘facts’ that you’re going to use

When you apply for a divorce, you must show there are good reasons (known as supporting ‘facts’ to show ‘grounds’) for ending your marriage.

If you are the person starting the divorce process (known as the ‘petitioner’) you must decide which ‘facts’ apply to you and you want to use.

The divorce will be quicker and cheaper if you agree the ‘facts’ that you’re going to use.

If they don’t agree with your ‘facts’, your husband or wife can defend the divorce. If this happens, you both might have to go to a court hearing to discuss the reasons for the divorce and settle any disagreements.

There are five types of ‘facts’ that you can use in divorce proceedings.
1. Adultery

You can use adultery as a reason for divorce if all of the following apply:

your husband or wife has had sex with someone else of the opposite sex
you don’t want to carry on living together
you decided not to continue living together within six months of the adultery happening or you finding out about it

Any sexual activity that you have been forced into, whether you are a man or a woman, is not adultery as you were not willing. Rape is therefore not adultery. Adultery is sexual activity with someone else that you choose.

To prove adultery, you will need to give the court:

details of the adultery, for example when it happened
statements from you and your husband or wife
an admission of adultery from your husband or wife

If your husband or wife won’t admit to adultery, you might need to talk to a solicitor about what to do next.
2. Unreasonable behaviour

If your husband or wife behaves so badly that you can’t carry on living together you can use ‘unreasonable behaviour’ as a reason for divorce.

Your husband or wife could be showing unreasonable behaviour if they:

are physically violent to you
are verbally abusive to you, for example through insults or threats
fail to provide affection or attention
don’t let you leave the house
give you reason to believe they are having an affair

You will need to provide proof of unreasonable behaviour. If your husband or wife won’t admit to it, you may need to provide detailed evidence, like statements from friends or doctors.

If there has been domestic violence in your relationship you can find out how to get help by following the link below.

Domestic violence: protecting yourself and getting help (crime and justice section)

3. Desertion

You can use ‘desertion’ as a reason for divorce if you can prove that your husband or wife has left you:

without your agreement
without a good reason
for a period of more than two years in the last two and a half years
with the aim of ‘deserting’ you (trying to end the relationship between you)

You can have lived together for up to a total of six months within this period and still claim desertion.
4. Living separately for more than two years with agreement on both sides

You can get a divorce if you and your husband or wife have lived apart for more than two years and both agree to divorce.

You can have lived together for up to a total of six months during this time if you have been apart for two years altogether.

Your husband or wife must agree in writing, so make sure you discuss it with them before filing for divorce.
5. Living separately for more than five years

If you and your husband or wife have lived apart for more than five years you can use this as a reason for divorce. If this has happened, you can apply for a divorce without your husband or wife’s agreement.

This will usually be enough to get a divorce. But your husband or wife can object if it will cause them ‘extreme’ difficulties - usually financially

By "legal separation" do you mean "judicial separation"? If you do then ancillary relief orders are available on judicial separation just as they are for divorce.

If you are talking about a separation agreement simply between the two of you, as opposed to an order made by the court, then that is not necessarily legally binding although providing that it is agreed between two consenting parties, having made full and frank disclosure of their financial circumstances, and having had the opportunity to take legal advice, and in the absence of any undue influence then the court would prefer to hold you both to your agreement than allow you to resile from it.

You need to consult a family law solicitor. It can be a bit of a minefield, and to be honest, taking the advice of a bunch of random and anonymous individuals on the internet may one day turn out to have been a bit of a bum decision.

Yep, I know, I'm certainly not going to make any decisions on the back of a few internet mutterings, I'm just sounding out a few opinions as I am pretty sure there will be other ARRSErs who have been in the same situation and appreciate the benefit of their experiences.

I'm already booked in to see a solicitor - funny old thing the same one who dealt with my fathers and mothers divorce, and my brothers divorce so I am comfortable with that already, after all my family are pretty good customers of his. I reckon he'll be able to buy his next Merc just on my families business alone :D

don't forget to ask for "cash" discount